Lately, I find myself ...
... enjoying every moment I am at work.
... looking forward to every morning.
... talking to neighbors in the lifts.
... going reading up on Computational Intelligence whenever I am free.
... greeting the bus drivers.
... busy most of the time, but happy.
... mentalogically (the new word i coined last month) solving the data mining problem on the bus ride home.
... wanting to tell anyone about anything.
... taking part in case competition amidst the workload.
... spending more time talking to my parents.
... enjoying my friends' company.
... going for long dinners.
... running at night.
... letting hurtful remarks slide.
... baking cakes.
... in full control of my life.
... happier.
I found myself.I seem to be in an exact opposite situation as my friend above. Just what is wrong with me?
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Losing Myself..
Fuming
Uber filled with outrage due to my prof!
He always tries to embarrass our class's students in front of everyone else.
As a lecturer, as an educator, you have to be more encouraging.
Only that will make others attempt to try the questions in class.
I have long gotten used to the silence that radiates from my tutorials
All because of his uncouthness
At least this is a lesson for me to take back.
That I should never embarrass my students in future
And be more reassuring.
F* you, stupid Lecturer.!
He always tries to embarrass our class's students in front of everyone else.
As a lecturer, as an educator, you have to be more encouraging.
Only that will make others attempt to try the questions in class.
I have long gotten used to the silence that radiates from my tutorials
All because of his uncouthness
At least this is a lesson for me to take back.
That I should never embarrass my students in future
And be more reassuring.
F* you, stupid Lecturer.!
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
Fair Appraisal?
I realise I am against appraisals or rather assessments like these.
Yet somehow I have gotten used to it.
Lecturers giving out problem sets or assignments to do.
Assigning a grade based on those problem sets.
Everyone discussing their answers to come to a similar conclusion.
I did most of the work but I got a lousier grade than someone who "plagiarizes" my work
But that's life isn't it?
Of course if I were the one who had plagiarized his or her work,
then he or she would have found it unfair too.
I likened it to the huge debate over ManU's win last weekend.
That too much extra time was given resulting in Owen's goal.
If ManC was the one who had scored, then they wouldn't have shouted foul.
At least for me now, I just wanna concentrate on my thesis!
Do a good job to get the deserving grade and wanted grade.
And graduate with FCH.
Petty things like assessments no longer matter I guess.
At least I know I am truly worthy and that I know my stuff well.!
I know if I do graduate with FCH,
I will be filled with disappointment and anguish
Nonetheless, no one can write off the amount of effort I have put in my 3.5 years of undergraduate studies.
I need to come to terms with not having control my own life in desperate times.
Yet somehow I have gotten used to it.
Lecturers giving out problem sets or assignments to do.
Assigning a grade based on those problem sets.
Everyone discussing their answers to come to a similar conclusion.
I did most of the work but I got a lousier grade than someone who "plagiarizes" my work
But that's life isn't it?
Of course if I were the one who had plagiarized his or her work,
then he or she would have found it unfair too.
I likened it to the huge debate over ManU's win last weekend.
That too much extra time was given resulting in Owen's goal.
If ManC was the one who had scored, then they wouldn't have shouted foul.
At least for me now, I just wanna concentrate on my thesis!
Do a good job to get the deserving grade and wanted grade.
And graduate with FCH.
Petty things like assessments no longer matter I guess.
At least I know I am truly worthy and that I know my stuff well.!
I know if I do graduate with FCH,
I will be filled with disappointment and anguish
Nonetheless, no one can write off the amount of effort I have put in my 3.5 years of undergraduate studies.
I need to come to terms with not having control my own life in desperate times.
Saturday, 19 September 2009
Love is a always a blessing
“Dong Dong!” There goes the dreary bell for French lessons once again.
Clarissa shuffled over to the classroom cupboard and hurriedly took out the files for the subject. As the French representative, it was Clarissa’s responsibility to ensure that everyone has his or her file for the lesson ready before the teacher enters the classroom. However, as this was only the fifth week of the semester, Clarissa found it unexceptionally trying to recognize all her new classmates’ name, especially when it came to Xavier – the one whom she secretly admires on the very first day she stepped into this new class.
To speed up the process of distribution, she decided to seek her best friend, Joanna’s help since she excelled in conversing French and was the chairperson of the class as well. Unknowingly, she came across that special name and despite recognizing whom that file belonged to, Clarissa was more interested in knowing how to pronounce the name then distributing the file. In her corner of her eye, Joanna caught Clarissa blushing as she stared onto the file.
“Oh my goodness! You can’t be interested in this guy, are you?” questioned Joanna.
Clarissa was taken aback and could not give an immediate reply. However, inferior as she was, she chose to deny her feelings and brushed Joanna off with an unyielding, “NO, of course not!”
Perhaps it was God’s will that Clarissa was to have this infatuation carved onto her heart for the rest of the life because not long after that file distribution incident, she started chatting online with Xavier. The two of them will log on to Hotmail’s Messenger Service every weekend to talk about anything under the Sun. Sometimes, the conversation revolved around gossips about their classmates, and other days they would then discuss about their interests, hobbies and their own families. The chats made Clarissa grew in confidence that she was not an ugly duckling whom love will elude her and that there is always someone for everyone out there. However, just when she thought the relationship would blossom, Joanna confessed her love for Xavier and tides took a turn.
As though it had all been rehearsed since childhood, Clarissa knew it was time for her to take the passenger seat next to Joanna once again. The latter had excelled in every aspect in life compared to Clarissa except for academic achievements. Thus, everyone labeled Clarissa the “nerd” while Joanna was often viewed as popular, street-smart and every other antonym of nerdy. She took on main leads in role-plays in schools, was voted a model student every year without fail and was endearing to boys judging by the numerous guys who tried to get into her good books since elementary school. Nothing would change the circumstances this time round too.
Aware that Clarissa regularly talks to Xavier, Joanna then exerted peer pressure on her by questioning their relationship. Never the girl who believes that love will embrace her, Clarissa gave in to Joanna’s request to try to bring together the two of them. It did not take long for Xavier to be attracted to Joanna’s bubbly and candid personality after a few chatting sessions with her. However, Xavier had not neglected Clarissa in the process. He still constantly drowned Clarissa with his sorrows but the incidences of his happiness being discussed over the Internet was moving north definitely and they all revolved around Joanna.
The day that sent Clarissa’s fate turning hundred and eighty degrees finally descended when Xavier asked her if it was the right move for him to get together with Joanna. Despite having prepared herself for this day, Clarissa found her tears falling uncontrollably as she stared into the red letter words being typed out by Xavier on the other end of the conversation. Whether Xavier will ever find out about her feelings for him was deemed no longer important anymore. Clarissa was determined to bite the bullet and move on with life. Indeed, this was also the very last conversation she had with Xavier.
Now, sixteen years down the road since that final exchange, Xavier and Joanna are still blissfully in love with each other. However, Clarissa was no longer the inferior and nerdy girl she used to be. She took steps to improve on her appearance, voice out her opinions whenever necessary to establish her presence and diligently climbed up the corporate ladder. Nonetheless, she found her heart and emotions in exile and it was her dreams and ambitions that kept her soul and body intact until she went to Mali.
Her love for Xavier was entailed in the form of seeing him basking in happiness and bliss even though it meant him holding another girl’s hands. It may sound out-of-date and obsolete to many others out there who advocate the freedom of pursuing true love yet Clarissa chose to uphold that belief.
Love, in the form of relationships, eluded Clarissa but God bestowed upon her the power of being extraordinary. Clarissa, single and still available, now works for the United Nations as an ambassador to Timbuktu in Mali. If Timbuktu meant "Nowhere", then this faraway land definitely helped liberated the exiled heart and emotions of Clarissa. It was right there in Timbuktu where the underprivileged and ill-fated children who struggled with meeting their daily supplements embraced her with their innocence and exemplify love in another form. In exchange, Clarissa learnt to love these poverty-stricken children unconditionally too.
Love is a blessing that transcends across boundaries, sex, nationalities and race be it you deciding to let go or embrace it.
[Author: Anonymous]
I wonder if it's a true story but at least it did touch my heart to read such a story, perhaps because I wanna go to Timbuktu myself!
Clarissa shuffled over to the classroom cupboard and hurriedly took out the files for the subject. As the French representative, it was Clarissa’s responsibility to ensure that everyone has his or her file for the lesson ready before the teacher enters the classroom. However, as this was only the fifth week of the semester, Clarissa found it unexceptionally trying to recognize all her new classmates’ name, especially when it came to Xavier – the one whom she secretly admires on the very first day she stepped into this new class.
To speed up the process of distribution, she decided to seek her best friend, Joanna’s help since she excelled in conversing French and was the chairperson of the class as well. Unknowingly, she came across that special name and despite recognizing whom that file belonged to, Clarissa was more interested in knowing how to pronounce the name then distributing the file. In her corner of her eye, Joanna caught Clarissa blushing as she stared onto the file.
“Oh my goodness! You can’t be interested in this guy, are you?” questioned Joanna.
Clarissa was taken aback and could not give an immediate reply. However, inferior as she was, she chose to deny her feelings and brushed Joanna off with an unyielding, “NO, of course not!”
Perhaps it was God’s will that Clarissa was to have this infatuation carved onto her heart for the rest of the life because not long after that file distribution incident, she started chatting online with Xavier. The two of them will log on to Hotmail’s Messenger Service every weekend to talk about anything under the Sun. Sometimes, the conversation revolved around gossips about their classmates, and other days they would then discuss about their interests, hobbies and their own families. The chats made Clarissa grew in confidence that she was not an ugly duckling whom love will elude her and that there is always someone for everyone out there. However, just when she thought the relationship would blossom, Joanna confessed her love for Xavier and tides took a turn.
As though it had all been rehearsed since childhood, Clarissa knew it was time for her to take the passenger seat next to Joanna once again. The latter had excelled in every aspect in life compared to Clarissa except for academic achievements. Thus, everyone labeled Clarissa the “nerd” while Joanna was often viewed as popular, street-smart and every other antonym of nerdy. She took on main leads in role-plays in schools, was voted a model student every year without fail and was endearing to boys judging by the numerous guys who tried to get into her good books since elementary school. Nothing would change the circumstances this time round too.
Aware that Clarissa regularly talks to Xavier, Joanna then exerted peer pressure on her by questioning their relationship. Never the girl who believes that love will embrace her, Clarissa gave in to Joanna’s request to try to bring together the two of them. It did not take long for Xavier to be attracted to Joanna’s bubbly and candid personality after a few chatting sessions with her. However, Xavier had not neglected Clarissa in the process. He still constantly drowned Clarissa with his sorrows but the incidences of his happiness being discussed over the Internet was moving north definitely and they all revolved around Joanna.
The day that sent Clarissa’s fate turning hundred and eighty degrees finally descended when Xavier asked her if it was the right move for him to get together with Joanna. Despite having prepared herself for this day, Clarissa found her tears falling uncontrollably as she stared into the red letter words being typed out by Xavier on the other end of the conversation. Whether Xavier will ever find out about her feelings for him was deemed no longer important anymore. Clarissa was determined to bite the bullet and move on with life. Indeed, this was also the very last conversation she had with Xavier.
Now, sixteen years down the road since that final exchange, Xavier and Joanna are still blissfully in love with each other. However, Clarissa was no longer the inferior and nerdy girl she used to be. She took steps to improve on her appearance, voice out her opinions whenever necessary to establish her presence and diligently climbed up the corporate ladder. Nonetheless, she found her heart and emotions in exile and it was her dreams and ambitions that kept her soul and body intact until she went to Mali.
Her love for Xavier was entailed in the form of seeing him basking in happiness and bliss even though it meant him holding another girl’s hands. It may sound out-of-date and obsolete to many others out there who advocate the freedom of pursuing true love yet Clarissa chose to uphold that belief.
Love, in the form of relationships, eluded Clarissa but God bestowed upon her the power of being extraordinary. Clarissa, single and still available, now works for the United Nations as an ambassador to Timbuktu in Mali. If Timbuktu meant "Nowhere", then this faraway land definitely helped liberated the exiled heart and emotions of Clarissa. It was right there in Timbuktu where the underprivileged and ill-fated children who struggled with meeting their daily supplements embraced her with their innocence and exemplify love in another form. In exchange, Clarissa learnt to love these poverty-stricken children unconditionally too.
Love is a blessing that transcends across boundaries, sex, nationalities and race be it you deciding to let go or embrace it.
[Author: Anonymous]
I wonder if it's a true story but at least it did touch my heart to read such a story, perhaps because I wanna go to Timbuktu myself!
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
A chill-out session with the different organs of a pig.
Just another boring Tues afternoon but a gathering with the different organs of a pig definitely made it special and a note worth remembering.
I had gotten so used to the environment of NUS that I no longer remember how it was liked when I first enter the institution. The unfamiliarity, hopes of seeing a familiar face somewhere, sometime in lectures, trying to plan timetables together etc. Sharon, Joseph, Michelle and I had a good chill-out session at the Deck today. My first few friends in NUS, they brought me exceptional memories in NUS. Seeing us all matured and grown up after a mere 3 years and our lives steering in completely directions, I thank God our paths once crossed.
Joseph, the pig brain, is always the one doing all the stunts in module planning and bidding. Occasionally, he makes Sharon and I share his stunts. However, he sees through me all the time, about how I feel and the many implications in my life. At least, he was the one who gave me a lot of support and encouragement during the most torturous period in NUS - the adjustment semester. Not to forget, he embarrassed me in front of a cutie not once, but twice because of his APPARENT loudness and nonobservance to the surroundings. :)
Sharon, the pig leg (she is EXTREMELY against us calling her that), is a small little girl, young and innocent when we first met her and Jo always calls her a CHEENA girl putting on a smokescreen by majoring in English Language. She takes all kinds of insults from us all the time without retaliating too strongly, and we love her still. However, she was the one who stalk after the cutie, and perhaps girls always relate better. :)
Oh and yes me, the pig's liver! I got the name because of that famous "Bak Chou Mee" noodle podcast by Mr Brown and the uncontrollable and hysterical laughter that I pulled off after listening to it during one of the lectures. This nickname will stay with me through life. :(
But yes, these are my lovely friends from NUS and I heart them for all the support, laughter and precious memories for the past 3.5 years. :)
I had gotten so used to the environment of NUS that I no longer remember how it was liked when I first enter the institution. The unfamiliarity, hopes of seeing a familiar face somewhere, sometime in lectures, trying to plan timetables together etc. Sharon, Joseph, Michelle and I had a good chill-out session at the Deck today. My first few friends in NUS, they brought me exceptional memories in NUS. Seeing us all matured and grown up after a mere 3 years and our lives steering in completely directions, I thank God our paths once crossed.
Joseph, the pig brain, is always the one doing all the stunts in module planning and bidding. Occasionally, he makes Sharon and I share his stunts. However, he sees through me all the time, about how I feel and the many implications in my life. At least, he was the one who gave me a lot of support and encouragement during the most torturous period in NUS - the adjustment semester. Not to forget, he embarrassed me in front of a cutie not once, but twice because of his APPARENT loudness and nonobservance to the surroundings. :)
Sharon, the pig leg (she is EXTREMELY against us calling her that), is a small little girl, young and innocent when we first met her and Jo always calls her a CHEENA girl putting on a smokescreen by majoring in English Language. She takes all kinds of insults from us all the time without retaliating too strongly, and we love her still. However, she was the one who stalk after the cutie, and perhaps girls always relate better. :)
Oh and yes me, the pig's liver! I got the name because of that famous "Bak Chou Mee" noodle podcast by Mr Brown and the uncontrollable and hysterical laughter that I pulled off after listening to it during one of the lectures. This nickname will stay with me through life. :(
But yes, these are my lovely friends from NUS and I heart them for all the support, laughter and precious memories for the past 3.5 years. :)
Monday, 7 September 2009
Loving the Imperfections or Choosing the Perfect one..
Perhaps many of us tried to be the perfect somebody to someone else.
Will it ever work out?
I don't why but I feel so strongly for this suddenly. Some women spend all their lives searching for that perfect one guy while others waited their whole life for that one special one of theirs to become the dream guy that they conceptualized when they were young. Yet, many others give in to what God has in place for them and slog their lives out.
To me, of course I do not wish to be in any of the above scenarios but a quick review and glance of the people around me failed to be encouraging statistics.
Why do you wait for that perfect one? Why do you wait for the guy beside you to become the man of your dreams? Why do you admit defeat so easily?
Why not just learn to love the imperfections of that someone and make your life easier? Truthfully, I ponder over these questions a lot. Actions speak louder than words. So here I am blogging about learning to love the imperfections of others but there I will be, criticising about someone's else flaws. I am not driving the point that you should just make do and live with someone's else flaws but rather than dwell on it all the time, isn't it better to learn to love it before you decide to live with it? Only when you love something or someone genuinely do you start to ignore the little imperfections of him or her, right? Isn't that what the lesson of love meant to deliver?
Further, if that someone has been behaving the way he or she is for the past 20-30 years of his or her life, it will be a more uphill task for him or her to change those bad habits rather than for you who probably has only known him or her for less than half a lifetime to alter your expectations.
Waiting for someone to change will only end you in misery. I would rather be more proactive to change my own perspective. It is always easier to tune yourself than to tune others. Ultimately, there's no way you can influence someone's else actions or behaviours no matter how close the two of you may be.
Everyone should learn to love the imperfections in their own lives. May it be a small setback, may it be an unhappy past, may it be a hurdle that is stopping you from moving forward, take a deep breath and tell yourself, do when you learn to love your flaws, love your imperfections, love the setbacks in life, love the trials and tribunals God has in place for you will you emerge a stronger and deserving champion of Satan.! :)
Will it ever work out?
I don't why but I feel so strongly for this suddenly. Some women spend all their lives searching for that perfect one guy while others waited their whole life for that one special one of theirs to become the dream guy that they conceptualized when they were young. Yet, many others give in to what God has in place for them and slog their lives out.
To me, of course I do not wish to be in any of the above scenarios but a quick review and glance of the people around me failed to be encouraging statistics.
Why do you wait for that perfect one? Why do you wait for the guy beside you to become the man of your dreams? Why do you admit defeat so easily?
Why not just learn to love the imperfections of that someone and make your life easier? Truthfully, I ponder over these questions a lot. Actions speak louder than words. So here I am blogging about learning to love the imperfections of others but there I will be, criticising about someone's else flaws. I am not driving the point that you should just make do and live with someone's else flaws but rather than dwell on it all the time, isn't it better to learn to love it before you decide to live with it? Only when you love something or someone genuinely do you start to ignore the little imperfections of him or her, right? Isn't that what the lesson of love meant to deliver?
Further, if that someone has been behaving the way he or she is for the past 20-30 years of his or her life, it will be a more uphill task for him or her to change those bad habits rather than for you who probably has only known him or her for less than half a lifetime to alter your expectations.
Waiting for someone to change will only end you in misery. I would rather be more proactive to change my own perspective. It is always easier to tune yourself than to tune others. Ultimately, there's no way you can influence someone's else actions or behaviours no matter how close the two of you may be.
Everyone should learn to love the imperfections in their own lives. May it be a small setback, may it be an unhappy past, may it be a hurdle that is stopping you from moving forward, take a deep breath and tell yourself, do when you learn to love your flaws, love your imperfections, love the setbacks in life, love the trials and tribunals God has in place for you will you emerge a stronger and deserving champion of Satan.! :)
Friday, 4 September 2009
IPHONE!
I am extremely tempted to buy the new Iphone 3GS!
Should I or shouldn't I?
I am immensely obsessed with the Tiffany & Co. necklace!
Should I or shouldn't I?
I am awfully in love with the LV bags.
Should I or shouldn't I?
I think I should give myself a tight slap to wake myself up!
Should I or shouldn't I?
I am immensely obsessed with the Tiffany & Co. necklace!
Should I or shouldn't I?
I am awfully in love with the LV bags.
Should I or shouldn't I?
I think I should give myself a tight slap to wake myself up!
Thursday, 3 September 2009
Status?
Life's heading a different direction these days. I am glad there's progress with the thesis though it's really slow but at least it's "gradual". :) I find it to be a completely different learning experience from hitting books and am truly convinced that I should have embark on this journey of working on a research paper. At the end of the day, when I look at this product of my labour, I believe I will be truly amazed and satiated and impressed by my own effort. (hopefully) It's been almost 4 weeks since I started on deciding on the topic and though it way diverted from my initial area of interest - foreign employment, I am glad that I ended up doing this topic. The many events that have been taking place in my life these days, which explains my absence from MSN & Skype, made me realise that Health brings about Happiness. By losing your health, you have given up your privilege and entitlement to happiness.
You are no longer able to pursue whatever dreams that you have been talking about your whole life, your unhappiness radiates to people around you, a thick clout of worries and uncertainty hangs over you blah blah blah...
However, looking at myself, I am more like a part-time student and a full-time tutor.! I have tons of tuition calling on me and sometimes I really feel like not responding to any of the tuition calls. But a simple message on Monday evening cheered me on and motivated me to stay steadfast in whatever I had started out. One of my students actually text me a "Happy Teacher's Day" message and told me that he is really thankful for the patience I had shown him over the past two months and helping him to regain confidence and interest in a subject which he had already given up hopes on. I guess that is one of the many perks of embarking on a teaching career. At the verge of giving up or in desperation, some words of encouragement never fail to re-ignite the burning desire to educate, share knowledge and influence someone.
The emotional distress that teachers undergo is tremendous and it affects their health physically and psychologically. High incidences of high blood pressure and heart attacks strike them as well because they have to deal with the mischief of 40 students, lectures from a LH, SH, VP and the Principal. To add bitter icing on a piece of rotten cake, a teacher has to endure the enthusiastic parent who never stops asking for more and cajole nonchalant or demanding parents but each student only has to deal with crap from probably 8 teachers, a VP and a Principal. The Statistics paints the picture of LIFE AS A TEACHER! :)
In conclusion, teachers should be more highly-paid.!
You are no longer able to pursue whatever dreams that you have been talking about your whole life, your unhappiness radiates to people around you, a thick clout of worries and uncertainty hangs over you blah blah blah...
However, looking at myself, I am more like a part-time student and a full-time tutor.! I have tons of tuition calling on me and sometimes I really feel like not responding to any of the tuition calls. But a simple message on Monday evening cheered me on and motivated me to stay steadfast in whatever I had started out. One of my students actually text me a "Happy Teacher's Day" message and told me that he is really thankful for the patience I had shown him over the past two months and helping him to regain confidence and interest in a subject which he had already given up hopes on. I guess that is one of the many perks of embarking on a teaching career. At the verge of giving up or in desperation, some words of encouragement never fail to re-ignite the burning desire to educate, share knowledge and influence someone.
The emotional distress that teachers undergo is tremendous and it affects their health physically and psychologically. High incidences of high blood pressure and heart attacks strike them as well because they have to deal with the mischief of 40 students, lectures from a LH, SH, VP and the Principal. To add bitter icing on a piece of rotten cake, a teacher has to endure the enthusiastic parent who never stops asking for more and cajole nonchalant or demanding parents but each student only has to deal with crap from probably 8 teachers, a VP and a Principal. The Statistics paints the picture of LIFE AS A TEACHER! :)
In conclusion, teachers should be more highly-paid.!