2017 started off a little rocky but the terrain got better as the year progressed. This was a complete opposite to my 2016. I vividly remembered how I felt at this time of the year, trying so hard to figure out my next step and had to constantly encourage myself to persevere to get to my next destination. I mentioned that I should count my blessings if I managed to get a full-time job in the shortest time possible and thankfully, I achieved what I want faster than expected.
Milestones:
Indeed, I did get a full-time job in finance. I barged my way into one of the hardest industries in the world, IB. It is all glam and glamour to the outsider because of the salary it commands. To me, having this job helped me get back to the level of financial security that I desire and which keeps me from worrying. I can then start to focus on achieving other things in life. Somehow, my prayers were answered. I read something on this very last day that says, "幸福都是奋斗出来的”, which means that happiness is something that you have to fight for. I do not disagree with that but I think we should also be thankful when our effort can translate into happiness. There are so many people out there who work so hard to fight for what they want but failed to accomplish what they set out to achieve. I need not brag or remind others about how hard I had worked before I landed this job, no one really cares about the blood, tears and sweat behind the scenes; everyone focuses on the outcome but I am grateful that I got what I wished for through my hard work and never-say-die attitude, coupled with the support and prayers from my family. Transiting from 2016 to 2017 has indeed brought out my resilience and made myself know that I still can give physically and mentally a lot more than I think I do. Perhaps without going through the last few months of 2016, I would not have been able to bite the bullet and pull myself through 2017.
I am a forward-looking person, always thinking a step ahead and consequently, I forget to live in the moment. Being in this job has definitely taught me this one important tip to life. My job does not give me the ability to plan my schedule ahead because there are always last minute disruptions and plans have to change. As such, whenever I have free time, I do not procrastinate and embark on the activities that I want to do and appreciate whatever pockets of free time that I could use to travel, explore and engage in the activities that I enjoyed doing. Having lost control of my own time and trading off my freedom for the pound made me felt lost in the beginning but humans are highly flexible and adaptable and with the passage of time, I worked my way around my limited control over my free time.
Besides that, I spent 2017 by myself a lot. I remembered how uncomfortable I was this time of last year when I had to be at a gathering which I felt so out of place and when I finally got to the gym on the first day of the new year, I felt freed. My takeaway from this year was that, you could be with a throng of people yet felt lonely within yet your heart could be so filled when you are sitting alone blogging. Life has such contrasts at times. Nevertheless, I do feel lonely more in 2017 than in the first 1.5 years after I left home to pursue my dreams in 2015. I find myself missing my family a lot more, because I am someone who needs interaction constantly, having others share their life experiences with me and vice versa. That said, I do not like spending time with people who do not matter. However, if you pass judgment too quickly and deem the other party as someone whom you are not interested in spending time with or engaging in conversations without really understanding the person's background and what the person has to say, you will lose a potential friend. Fortunately or unfortunately, my life has taken that turn and I often have to make such decisions owing to the time constraint that I have. The downside of my job is that it makes me more pragmatic more than ever and value my time like a diamond, limited and priceless.
You gain some and you lose some. I went back to playing badminton regularly after moving here and that has become the biggest part of my social life. My passion for the game is burning and I constantly want to improve my game play and criticism is often the motivating factor for me to find a breakthrough in my game.
For all that I have achieved, there are areas where I still need to work on. I did not strike #1 off my 2017 new year resolutions. Making the first move to buy a guitar was right but that desire to learn to play the guitar was only sustained for 4 weeks before I got engulfed by work completely, travelled back home then to London and left the guitar to collect dust in a corner of my home. That shall be my 2018's resolution again.
Moving forward to 2018, my life is back on track on the rat race and I have had to once again prepare myself for the mountain of work that I have to face when the new quarter starts.
2018 resolutions:
1. Learn to play the guitar
2. Visit Africa and go on a safari
3. Learn swimming (I wrote this down but I know that I am unlikely to accomplish it. I have always had a fear for water and I do not know how I could overcome this).
4. Save money!
5. Volunteer!
6. Be giving, appreciative and judge less
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give ~ Winston ChurchillIn 2017, I live by what I earned but I realise that the things that make my heart fill so full is always the love, care and concern that I give to the people around me, be it my siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews or my parents.
JC once said that Mandarin pop is better than Western music. For me, it is not the melody rather than the lyrics. If you understand mandarin, you will understand how well the language can paint a picture. While others say a picture paint a thousand words, mandarin can express a picture in a few words. This year, I had written quite a few posts about Mayday's songs and the lyrics that deeply touch my heart. I shall write down all those lyrics that made my heart skipped a beat this year:
努力不会徒劳，伟大并非凑巧
努力不会徒劳，爱并非凑巧
终究会有一天，我们都变成昨天
是你陪我走过一生一回匆匆的岁月
夜空中最亮的星能否听清
那仰望的人心底的孤独和叹息
从前哭着哭着就笑啦
现在笑着笑着却哭啦
快乐变得那么复杂
原来这就叫长大
没被看不起当笑话
怎么配叫做梦想
如果你能预知这条路的陷阱
我想你依然错得很过瘾
每当我迟疑 总不肯忘记
活在我心深处那顽固的自己
某一天某一刻某次呼吸
我们终将再分离
展开披风带你飞行
Still a lot more, I just cannot finish all of them. In 45 minutes, I will welcome the new year. Thank you for all the memories, 2017.
