After thoughts of my 49-day epic adventure #1

Since I embarked on a 49-day adventure, I promise to write 49 things or thoughts on my journey.

#1: A friend whom I miss

The main trigger of me visiting Europe again is to visit a friend of mine whom I have unknowingly known for 11 years. We got to know each other back in the Polytechnic but we somehow drifted apart until about 4-5 years ago. The trip to Korea kinda reignited our friendship and we started our monthly movie nights. When she decided to move to Switzerland to work, it struck me quite hard, not just because it meant there was no more monthly movie nights but that she was doing something that I long to accomplish. Initially, I had wanted to visit her while being enrolled in graduate school but since my plans had some hiccups, I did otherwise.

She is a stark contrast of who I am as a person. Having spent a month with her made me reflect a lot upon myself as a person, my character, how much I have changed over the years, etc. When she left Singapore, she made me miss movie nights. Now after visiting her, she made me miss her warm hospitality!

While in Turkey, one of the tour guides asked if we are best friends or good friends. Both of us did not answer or rather could not be sure what we should be saying. Somehow, to call someone your best friend, there needs to be reciprocity I guess. We need to both agree that we are each other's best friends then would we unconsciously say "yes" when others ask. I have loads of best friends, though the term "best" is supposed to mean the favourite among all. To say she is my best friend is a little too strong because people like Chris, WenX, Pigsy Ang, etc. are people who fit that title without second thoughts. Likewise for her, I am sure she has other groups of friends who will come to her mind when people mention the term "best friend".

So anyway, after a moment of awkwardness when we both did not give the guide a reply, she said, "We are close friends."

As someone whose friends are predominantly male, I think she can easily emerge as one of my best female friends (bffs). I have no qualms sharing with her some of my deepest thoughts and we do not pass judgments on each other's decisions or actions. Not that she would give me advices or whatsoever but the fact that I can open up to her so easily and vice versa is definitely one of the criteria to tick off when I decide if she is someone I can call a best friend too. Nonetheless, the title is not important. What matters is that I know she is someone whom I feel comfortable hanging around with, willingly share my stuff with, keeping each other updated about lives, etc. and actually keeping to my word about all these things beats giving each other fanciful titles but probably never bother contacting each other.

#visitingbluemosque

Acknowledgements

Yuppie, thesis submitted yesterday and I am now a free soul. It suddenly dawned upon me that I will no longer have to go through days of sleepless nights or inadequate sleep, give up my hongkong dramas, compromise with playing tennis, etc. Instead, I can be back to the weekly drinking sessions or mahjong sessions, the drama-after-drama days. Nonetheless, I have to start to work on my modules since I have been neglecting them for the past 12 weeks. My only focus was writing a good dissertation and a meaningful one. I have been spending all my time outside of tuition to work on my thesis and indeed it has been a fruitful journey. Especially towards the end, when Linken was vetting my thesis and Kheng started correcting my subject-verb agreement, I realise that writing a dissertation with perfect grammar is indeed trying. The problem does not lie with me being able to figure out the singular and plural but rather, the tenses almost drove me crazy. I was really undecided between using past tense or present tense to write the thesis! The work that was done by me has to be in present tense whereas work done by precedents have to be in past tense? Ended up I went to my professor and he simply told me to write everything in present tense. Linken was definitely picking on bones and very critical of what I wrote but I do not blame him. In fact, I was really happy about it because it makes me ponder over what I have wrotten and what I could do to improve on it. What's more, I need not hug my laptop to school everyday though it has become a habit that I kinda love it. Put aside the weight, it gives me immediate access to whatever that I want to know.

For now, I wish to publish my acknowledgements.

No words of appreciation can express my hearfelt gratitude towards my
supervisor, Dr. Liu Haoming for his kind patience and guidance in helping me
complete this thesis to mark my graduation. His serenity amidst my panic over my
progress of writing this dissertation from deciding on a topic while he was
still suffering from a jet lag to resolving the many data regression issues, and
finally reading my draft has been extremely reassuring. Without his exceptional
forbearance for all the major and minor knocks on his office, the completion of
this thesis would not have been so smooth and I would not have developed an
interest in doing research work. He is God's grace to me as a final year
student.

Not to forget, I would like to express my appreciation towards Dr. Indranil
Chakrabotry, Dr. Goh Say Song, and Dr. Gamini Premaratne who have given me
numerous astute advices academically and have been instrumental to my learning
journey in NUS.

Next, I would like to convey my sincerest appreciation to Linken, one of my
best pal who has indeed shown me remarkable support by having a game of tennis
with me when I needed to take it easy, listening to my whining, and most
importantly, vetting my thesis despite his hard-pressed schedule. Further, I
would like to thank my best buddies: Chris, WenXiong, and Tailon, people whom I
seek to for comfort and for the mirth, fun, and laughter they brought to my life
for the past decade. They are whom I call true friends. Added compliments to
Chris for proofreading my thesis as well!

The final and most important, I wish to express my gratitude to my family;
my Mom who loves me unconditionally and has been extremely supportive while I
take on this last challenge in my academic career; my sister, Kheng, for
correcting the subject-verb agreement issues in my paper meticulously, and also
my brother, Michael, who constantly offers words of encouragement and astute
advices for the past 23 years of my life. A BIG THANKS for playing a
fundamental role in shaping up my character and showing incredible tolerance for
my whims and fancies, and never stingy when it comes to showering me with love.

I am truly blessed beyond measures to have you guys as my family members.

Owing to space constraint, I was not able to thank all the people that I would like to so the blog is a more appropriate venue I guess.

I would like to dedicate this dissertation to my Brother, Michael and my
cousin-in-law, Vincent. Prior to deciding on the topic, I was not sure if
writing on such a topic would have been anything meaningful. However, the series of events made me realise that Health is Wealth and that without good health,
you would have been denied access to the door of Happiness.

Next, I would like to thank Bestie, IatFai for his existence in my life. He
need not explicitly encourage me to be better or listen to my sorrows but
through the small chats we have during the gatherings, he made me realise that
if one's dreams are shattered, it may be hard to swallow initially but we
all move on. Seeing his attempts to live a fulfilling life despite living within
so many constraints, I have more the reason to do so. All the conversations we
had while I was on SEP also helped me stay in touch with Singapore and it was
always nice to have someone you know to relate to when you experience any funny or interesting events while overseas. Thanks, Bestie!

Next, to my ex-boss and mentor - Augustine, for showing me the ropes to auditing and interpersonal relationship and for encouraging me when I first entered NUS that all I need is time to adapt to the NUS lifestyle. Those words of encouragement were instrumental to me graduating today from NUS!

Not to forget, my wonderful Econs friends in NUS - Pauline, Rachel and
HuiYun. All the times that I was in NUS, I had their companion and we sat
through all the boring lectures together, sat for the same exams and the little
outings like Botanic Gardens, Dinner, etc. indeed brightened up my life!

To Joseph and Sharon - my first few friends in NUS who brought me so
much laughter out of my embarrassment, thanks for helping me tide through the adjustment phrase in NUS.!

To WaiTeng for introducing the lovely sport, tennis to me, for constantly
encouraging me when I felt really down and lost with my thesis, hall stays would
have been much different without her!

To the two splendid friends I made from SEP - Kim and Monica.
All the travels, living and culture experiences would not have been made
possible without Kim's company and I wouldn't have the same feeling towards the
various countries that we visited together without her. The days of cooking
together, couching in her room on Sundays to watch movies, running to Lidl with our slippers and shorts during winter, long bus journeys, gossips, etc. are memories that will stay with me for life.!

And for Monica, the little chats we have in our room during SEP, the art of
accomodation and lending an arm that she taught me, the constant encouragement
she gave while I was working on my thesis were all priceless.!

And so, I thank God for bringing them to my life and on SEP.!

Last but not least, thanks to every single friend I made in NUS especially
the Econs peeps!

Lastly, I would like to share any good luck that God has bestowed upon me
for the past 23 years with my cousin, Benjamin, who is sitting for his 'O'
Levels and my sister, Kheng, who is sitting for her 'A' Levels examinations.
Also, I would like to thank my cousin, BiXia, for lending me her Macbook power adapter when mine refused to work on the very night before the submission of my thesis (Every single bit of effort counts.!) And my cousin, Wendy, for the weekly badminton sessions when I needed to destress and also being the responsible
driver to deliver the power adaptor without moaning a single word! (I am not sure if she complained behind my back though! haha..Just joking!)

Thanks for making a difference in my life!

Recall.

I went to an ex-colleague's 21st birthday party last night. Honestly, I was astonished by the crowd that gather and the setup and all. She had really big banners put up and spot lights, dry ice, sparklers all ready and it looked more like a wedding as commented by another of my friend. Lol! She had a 20th birthday celebration last May as well but because I was in Stockholm then, I was not able to make it and had not experienced the kind of lavish and grandeur that accompanied her celebration. Halfway through the party, she changed into another dress and that left me scratching my head and stunned. "Why the need to change your costume?"

By around 9 p.m., we then got ready for photo-taking and of course the highlight of the night, the cutting of the cake. I would likened the crowd to almost a throng but when it was time to sing the birthday girl a song, the volume sounded pathetic and I mean really pathetic. No one bothered to gather and you could see people leaving halfway, hoping that their absence will be insignificant in the large crowd. Some did not even bother to sing the birthday song nor clap and were busy taking photos with their own long-lost friends. Of course I did my part and sang the song, not only out of duty and responsibility but also with sincerity and wishes. Since you have decided to attend the party and send the someone your wishes, then do it whole-heartedly right? There was a crowd of around 100 people but the volume of the birthday song sounded like a pathetic group of 10 trying to amplify their voices.

Going through the celebration reminded me of my own 21st birthday party. I started to wonder, was my party anyway like hers? I would feel tremendously embarrassed and at the same time really upset and inadequate. It was as though those people who went never really wanted to attend but were merely being compulsive or conforming to social norms of attending someone else's 21st birthday party to reciprocate because he or she had attended yours. However, it is almost 18 months since my birthday celebration. I was so busy that night that I can no longer recall the expression on everyone's faces. However, deep in my heart, I know majority of those that attended really meant to be there to give me their true blessings unless it was yet another deception.

This incident had once again reiterated the point that we need QUALITY friends. Quantity does not count. I would rather have genuine and whole-hearted blessings of 20 friends rather than the pretense or hypocrisy of a 100. :) I love my friends honestly. Diverse and versatile.

A toast to:
--> the one or two unique ones whom I can dial anytime and anyday for a coffee or to lend an ear and to walk through the ups and downs of life together, watching each other closely.
--> some whom I put in the extra effort or walk the extra mile to maintain our friendship, holding it as though it is a fragile piece of glass that might be broken once I hold it too loosely but you guys make me appreciate what other friends had done for me.
--> A few among the litre whom I love to disturb, call them names knowing that they won't be angry or pissed occasionally yet sometimes surprising each other when we start to lend each other a heart and an ear for some comfort.
--> the several whom I always complain and whine non-stop towards to vent my frustration and anger when I cannot suppress it or contain anymore.
--> Those who seemed so distant yet once in a while, a knock on my phone or msn or email tells me the weight I have in their heart, thanks for not forgetting me. :)
--> The few or several leisure khakis be it KTV, mahjong, tennis, badminton or even a movie. You know who you are but that does not mean you ain't important.
--> Lastly, the rest whom left a little and brief footprints in my life. Though you ain't that special, thanks for being there when I needed a friend or company. :)

Bird Day!

Yes, once again, the time of the year has arrived in the twinkle of an eye. Gosh!

I used to be excited about birthdays but no more now. Completely no idea what overcame me to produce such effects. Perhaps, it's because the sick bug is back to haunt me! I am suffering from constant abdominal pain since this morning! Fortunately, I have already had dinners and get-together with my friends already. Now, my body needs to recharge and have a good holiday.

Last Saturday, Omma, Jan, Jy & Lionel had dinner with me to pass me my birthday present. :)) It definitely caught me in surprise what they got for me. I totally wasn't expecting that. Nevertheless, I love it. Not because I am a materialistic person but apparently, I've always felt the gift you choose for someone is a representation of the person's worth in your heart. It need not be the price tag that tells the whole story but whether you had exercised concerns about the needs and likes of that person. It wasn't anything new on that day, KTV followed by dinner and finally a great movie to end the day.

I can't deny it's been ages since we last indulged ourselves in so much fun. At certain points and stage in life, we drift apart because we have embarked on our personal careers and future. However, I likened our bonds to those of DNA Strands. Our lives are twinned together and we all need support and concern from each other to make our days every now and then. For the occurrence of our encounters was one that was timely coupled with absence of hypocritism and shams. It was the presence of candidness that was never meant to be erased. I love this bunch of friends! :))

Source: Omma's Blog! :))

Upcoming was an All-expensed paid for Trip to Batam cum Seafood Dinner in M'sia sponsored by Chris and Pigsy Ang. I think it's a pretty good idea honestly. Pigsy and I once talked about sending birthday gifts to each other. We have all aged and are equipped with the ability to purchase the items that we deeply want. Instead of sending each other gifts, we might as well indulge each other in a good holiday treat or a smashing treat. That explains the idea. There isn't much sightseeing to be done on that small industrial island. All we did was EAT, CONSUME, DEVOUR and INGEST without ceasation! Lol! Pigsy was commenting that the amount of oil we consumed was equivalent to that of a month's intake! Lol! But the seafood at Malaysia was fabulous! Delicious and economical! The most hilarious thing is Pigsy and Chris told the Batam Tour Guide that I had gotten the trip for free as I had participated in the lucky draw organised by Pigsy and administered by Chris. The tour guide got really excited and started inquiring if she could have a try at that for an All-Expensed paid for lucky draw trip to Europe. Oh well, I apologise in advance. If there's really a lucky draw, I had already been the winner for all subsequent ones. The fact that Chris and Pigsy became my buddies simply showed that Lady Luck is and will be with me not this time round, but ALWAYS. Thanks Buddies!

The third round came when my NUS friends and I decided to get to Botanic Gardens to picnic and idle our afternoon away like how the Caucasians always do. Lol! I have to admit it was pretty cool and I finally LEARNT How to play BRIDGE! We met up at the Swan Lake with no real swans. Rachel was pretty disappointed that there weren't real swans in the lake. Apparently, she had caught hold of photos with swans in the lake. Oh gosh, GIRL, Which unauthorised website did you visit?! Lol! Yet the unheartening start to the trip failed to dampen our spirits. We headed to the ginger garden, then the National Orchid Gardens but the sun was extremely glaring so we finally came to grass fields near the Symphonic Performance Stage and laid our mats, food and music. What an afternoon spent!

Bridge is a tactical game. You need to know the rules really well to be able to figure out what's really going on. Apparently, Rachel hates games with lots of rules because her memory is deterioriating with age according to her personal testimony. Pauline was a new-timer no longer so she could guide us along. The most hilarious moment happened when all thought Pauline was my partner and that lucky winner turned out to be her though not. It was RACHEL!! We were so taken aback and burst into a series of laughters... Hilarious.

It was a great day spent because it was simply relaxing. Cupcakes were their way of cakes because there weren't cakes in the bakery at 630 am in the morning. Nice.! Advance Happy Birthday! Thanks PALS !

The highlight was probably when we were in the Children's playground and slowly our uncovered innocence and childish behaviour! Lol. Pauline and I were extremely amazed by a tree that gave off cooling water. It works the way those cooler fans in the coffee shops work nowadays. But Once a child, always a child I guess. Lol.. Hilarious Expressions all over.

We got so lethargic that we simply got to the garden and started to discuss about pitcher plants that were hanging around the garden. Pauline had just finished a general biology module this semester and it was a coincidence that her laboratory experiment was all about observing the pitcher plant! Rachel told me you can get those plants and place them at home so they will get rid of the mosquitoes for you. They GROW EXPONENTIALLY. Scary.

The rest were all sitting around but me, the human without proper backbones, simply laze around. Laid my bag, and down I went, making myself comfortable, lying against the benches. Wahaha.. We are such distinct personalities. But we had a good chat there and then. It made me realised how little time I had spent with them over the past 2.5 years despite seeing them 2-3 times a week every semester. Rachel's graduating and such gatherings will diminish as time grows. :(( Treasure those moments in life which you know never come easily. :))

"The Day the Earth Stood Still"

I stayed home on the actual day itself. I don't know why. Was just busy replying SMS and chilling at home since I wasn't feeling that well. At around 830 or so, met BY, KW, CB and TL at WM for a movie. One conclusion is: BY is a honest guy who really really really doesn't lie, even white lies! Lol.

QL: Hey BY! I have reached. Where are you guys?
BY: Ermm...
QL: Oh are you guys at the Arcade?
BY: Yeah, we are at the Arcade.
QL: Alright, I will catch you guys there then.

When I arrived, I saw Pigsy standing outside the Arcade busy text-ing. So the story was... They wanted to buy me a cake that's why he couldn't tell me where he was. CB suggested getting the cake cut right outside the arcade by the arcade while the Bangladeshs, Maids, Young and Old alike were 10metres away at the SAM machine making bill payments. Tell me, who on earth would agree?!?!?!

So we had to behave like those secondary school kids who hang around staircases. With a camera installed, apparently, it was suggested that we had to do everything hastily so that the security guard doesn't come around to chase us away. Lol!You can't disagree that the world's renowned song is "Happy Birthday to You!"

I thought the movie was pretty motivational for people who are resistant to change. But it is the kind of the movie that entails extreme opinions. People who are more sensitive to the world and dynamic would probably have a stronger liking for it. That was how I ended my day. :)) Simple and sweet.

Just when I thought all the birthday songs, blowing of candles have finally came to an end, another group of my NUS friends bought me another cake today when we met up for board games at Pistop. Totally unanticipated. Come to think of it, we weren't that close except my ex-roomie in beloved Stockholm. Our friendship took a drastic turn towards the end of the SEP perhaps due to communications and additional tolerance. Unanticipated but I am glad I had it.

I realise something. I have aged. I have changed. Physically, I am no longer excited over birthday cakes or songs yet emotionally, it still warms my heart whenever I listen to them. Sometimes, in fact, I feel "What did I do to deserve the love and warmth of so many really sincere and caring friends?" I spent little time with them, and one day, they may all be passer-bys in my life, or people whom I will never keep in contact with. The future is uncertain that's why I made such comments. But I told myself I will try to prevent that from happening even if it means meeting up only occasionally in future. There are people whom I know I will never bear to let go in life. It may be him, her, they, you.

In the past, I was naive. I thought "keep in contact, stay in touch" are promises or words meant to be kept forever and remember. But as I aged, I realise people use them too loosely. They are just words meant to display graciousness.

To me, the best way to remember someone is to never forget to send him or her a greeting every now and then and also on their BIRTHDAYS! A message a year isn't one that shows how much you really treasure someone, is it?

Some people dream about being rich, being good-looking, being successful, being famous, being wanted etc. Yes, I do dream of some of those things every now and then. But every year when my birthday arrives, I realise all those things ain't that important. Your happiness is never measured by those quantitative ideals. It's honestly measured by the qualitative aspects of life that are unmeasurable and unobservable. Only you yourself can set and observe the benchmark of those qualitative aspects. If I could dream of something, I would dream of everyday as my birthday. At least in this way, all my family members and friends would be surrounding me with wishes, love, care and concern. :)) I would appear on their mind for that very moment when they send me a text. They will allow me to be willful for once. :))

A million thanks for all the wishes! :))

Back to the old days.....

How long ago was it when you had to wake up at 6 or 7 o'clock in the morning, pull yourself really hard to school, attend the flag-raising, get back to your class and find it trying to stay awake and pay attention to the teacher mumbling in class??

For me, it was a lengthy 6 years ago until today, 16 July 2008 when I once again re-live the feeling of being a participant in the classroom setting... However, this time round, my role was switched. Instead of being the active.interactive.noise polluting agent among the class, I stood right in front of the class, trying to control the bunch of students.

How did it feel? I was in a Secondary 3 Normal Academic class and the students were rowdy, unmotivated to study, appearing sleepy and sloppy blah blah...I remember back in those days when I was a student, everyone in class was more or less motivated to study except for a few handful ones (I probably was one of them too wahaha) so the challenge the teacher had to face was make sure they understood the contents and aim for an A.

But it was completely different for the class I was handling. Being able to capture their attention was the key challenge to me. Without them even listening to you, what makes you think that they will be able to figure out what you taught? A lot of my friends think I am not cut out to be a teacher with my "ah-lianish" appearance, behaviour and even candid language but I think likewise. Perhaps I will not be the typical teacher who's always elegant, professional, intimidating etc. but I definitely have my own ways of handling kids.

I had a difficult time trying to control those bunch of kids but I was once a rebellious child, someone who had difficulties focusing in class, dozing off half of the time and chit-chatting away for the other half except for Mathematics, taking breaks in between classes, attempting to challenge the teacher's authority (Erm hmm, of course for CHINESE lessons!) etc.. I know where to come from to tackle all these behaviour now well but not perfectly of course.

To round it up, it was a pleasant experience for me to be back as a participant in the classroom setting.. I miss Secondary School days where S.I.D.Y crack all kinds of jokes and splattered sarcasm all over the prefects who were one-year our juniors, my favourite last row and third seat from the door in the Physics lab where Mr Illysad couldn't spot me sleeping for a double period for Physics, the 2 contrasting personalities that sat beside me, LW & TL who always never fail to brighten up my day (LW with JM on their hand gestures and language while TL and me engage in conversations non-stop), Mdm Yeo's Kite-Flying mathematics class etc...Not to forget, I miss how I can fit into that petitie size 25 skirt of mine..... hehehe.... :)

Do you miss them like I do?

"Time waits for no man............"

Potluck 2008

Well, I am glad to say that the event was a huge success! It kicked off at 8 p.m instead of 6p.m so while waiting for the rest, we played Indian Poker. I would say it is a game that is purely dependent on your luck! There were many of us and some couldn't really take alcohol so we decided to bend the rules a bit and make the 3 players with the smallest cards to share the forfeit. It seems reasonable otherwise we will end up with a bunch of drunkards even before the dinner has begun...

The most funniest thing is while we were waiting for the rest to arrive, those who had already arrived simply couldn't resist the temptation to snack on those food that had already arrived... hahaha... It was hilarious.. We gathered around the table and started commenting on who was bringing what and our hands just went out of control to reach the food. hahahaa...

The after activity is nothing new.. KTV.... As usual, it's the same bunch of us that's contributing to the noise pollution but some others who weren't really in for SINGING still joined us... It's endearing to see that but I feel the pain for their pockets since it wasn't that cheap... Looks like we will need to think of a new after gathering activity soon..... :)

Friends help in me adjusting back to my life in Singapore.. The fun and laughter that they bring to my life... It's definitely a different kind of potluck with them than with my friends in Stockholm...

Back to my LIFE... My BIKE got stolen... DAMN those BANGLAS!!! That's definitely one thing I hate about my COUNTRY... Why are there so many Banglas??? If I were in Stockholm, nothing like this will happen I guess.... Or maybe not... I don't know.. I am irked by them....... Now I know why JJ lashes out at them every single morning while at work...

How long will I take to stop missing Europe?? --> LT.....

For WenX

So sorry that you could not see the video in the post I sent.
Hope this makes up for it.
I will give you a new copy when I am back. :)
Of course, thanks to all those who made their contributions! :)

Skype Skype Skype

Yeah, I found another 2 new buddies to skype with! BEN & ALVIN! hehe.. I skyped with Ben first without webcam and mic for him like the way I skype with kheng... I think he got really fascinated by how skype works wonders so he bought the webcam+mic immediately the next day.. We then skype on friday night (sat morning for him)! It was so cool and I was really touched that he bought the webcam specially for me! :)

71 Shouts: "ThAnKs BEN!"

Then the next cool dude that skyped with me was ALVIN! haha.. I was talking to Ben about Alvin when we skyped since the 3 of us are in a clique kind of thing.. But he didn't have webcam so i could only hear his voice.. But in this foreign land, each time I get to hear or see a familiar voice or face will really brighten up my day! Alvin says he will try to get a webcam or use his video cam or whatever.. I just hope the next time i skype with him, i will see his face and hear his voice at the same time..

71 Shouts:"tHaNkS AlVIN!

However, I still haven't had the chance to skype with my family yet.. It's always them seeing me only but I guess it's okay! Skype really works wonders seriously! Btw, Kim found this calling service through skype and it's kinda cheap.. it's only $0.041 per minute to call to Singapore.. haha.. COOL!

New updates! I found the 4th present!

The lucky person is "CHRISTOPHER!" But I will not say what it is.. it's meant to be a surprise.. Buying presents is so fun if not for the high costs!

Anyway, there's this welcome dinner tonight (at 7pm) and I am still blogging at 5:30pm!

I think I should blog a bit more these few days since I will not be blogging for the next whole week!

Happy CHINESE NEW YEAR to All (in advance!)!!