The one post that I will write every year!

Unknowingly, a year has past again and it is time to look back on these 365 days and ask myself, "What have I achieved?"

I am most proud of myself this year because I managed to strike off majority of my resolutions and #1 is definitely beyond my control. As for learning to swim, I really need to set my mind to doing it at some point next year! 2022 was a year that I told myself that I need to be brave again and back to taking risks and step out of my comfort zone. Although I do not read my resolutions every now and then, somehow when I do write them down, sub-consciously, I will set my mind to achieving it. I started taking risks by returning to playing badminton, restarting my globetrotting adventures and also made one of the toughest decisions to return (home)! I know my entire family is extremely happy and supportive of this move and it has been one of the most difficult decisions for me, as I am so used to living abroad and having to adapt to a tiny island again is no easy feat. However, time is running out for some of the most precious people of mine and I feel I need to grab hold of whatever that is left to create perhaps the last memories. Furthermore, I miss my nieces so much, and really hope to be there for them in every step possible as they grow up. I guess this is also considered to be part of my resolution to be brave again and take risks again. 

In terms of my lifestyle, I am so proud and happy of myself at the same time that I started biking to work daily. That 30 minutes is my daily exercise, refreshes my mind and makes me a lot more energetic at work! In terms of being more jovial and less serious, I set out to achieve that and I joke a lot more with my colleagues and like that working environment a lot more :) 

2022 Resolutions

1. Visit Russia Highly unlikely even for the next 1 year Will have to try in 2024 maybe?

2. Go on a family trip with my nieces (C, A, N) though this is probably beyond my control Highly unlikely even for the next 1 year Heading to Japan/Taiwan next year!

3. Be brave / risk-taking Went back to playing badminton full time, started travelling again and let myself be exposed to C, but am glad I regained my pre-C lifestyle!

4. Buy my own loft and figure out my next step Will be in progress in 2023 too!

5. Be back on the road travelling (hopefully) Svalbard, Arctic, Greenland, Sicily, Lake Como/Lake Orta!

6. Continue to be jovial / less serious

7. Learn swimming? One of the most challenging resolutions that I have failed to achieve time and again

8. Improve my lifestyle a bit - sleep earlier, snack less and exercise more! Biking to work for a year!

What awaits me in 2023 and what goals do I have for myself?

I think I am set to buy my own loft and I need to actively look! As I was writing my reflections on Moments/IG, I realised that I am now at a stage in life whereby I feel that I have achieved all that I set out to achieve when I left teaching. I wanted to carve out a career for my own and I have been ploughing all these whiles. I am now living in comfort and enjoying the fruits of my labour, but at the same time, I constantly remind myself that I cannot be complacent and slack. I will always have to keep a sharp mind, constantly upgrade and improve myself and hope to be more entrepreneurial. 

This is not the first time that I am writing about music and Mayday's songs, however as I look back on the past 20+ years of listening to their music, their music has really given me so much motivation and perhaps I really will not be who I am without their music. 

It started with 疯狂世界 when you feel like you want to run away from all the hustle and bustle of life, given my family background and all the struggles that we had to go through as a kid and in our teenage years. One thing that I really am thankful/grateful to my mom is, although we were not well-off, my mom tried her best to make us feel loved and that we could afford what we needed (though not wanted). Every year, she bought us new textbooks, new shoes, new clothes and we never had to do any household chores - laundry, ironing, cleaning, cooking, etc. She gave all her salary to us as our living expenses. When I look back at my weekly pocket allowance, it really was not massive but at the same time, it was comfortable for one to eat and go out occasionally. However, that meant a lot to my mom. My mom has been frugal all her life so even though the toughest days are behind us, this frugality is engraved and she will never be luxurious. 

The song that turned me into a mayday fan was 人生海海, it talks about challenging your fate and daring yourself to be different: “手上有一个硬币 反面就决定放弃 但是啊在我心底 却完完全全不想放弃”... It was a constant source of motivation for me that I have to be in control of my feelings and decide my own fate! 

With that came 咸鱼 and that song was most inspirational for me during my polytechnic days when I had to decide my next step after graduation, and transition to university. Life is full of struggles, not just academically, but also your broader life goals, relationships, etc. and 倔强: “ 你说被火烧过才能出现凤凰” and 超人：“如果你能开心 展开披风 带你飞行/ 为什么我能飞天 也能够遁地 为什么我却没办法长驱直入你的心/ 谁要这样超人 连自己也救不起” were two of my favourite Mayday classics. It taught me that life is not a bed of roses and the importance of perseverance, and even Superman with all his super powers has his own struggles. 

By 2005, I became a Mayday fan and after my first concert in 2007, I became a die-hard fan! I liked the two albums that they released thereafter - 天使 and 后青春的诗, there were many amazing melodies in those two albums but it was the 2012 album that somewhat steered my life in a different direction. 

第二人生： “期待一趟旅程精彩万分 你却还在等 / 生命不是过程 而是美丽旅程 风景有亮和暗 / 如果命运注定你的诞生 如果末日始终没有发生 不要等到来生 让此时此刻能不虚此生” / 三个傻瓜：“世界如果平的 为何人们都要往上爬 活着不是赢家 就是输家 你敢输掉吗？” - At that point, I was growing a lot of disdain of my life and I really wanted to step out of SG and become a global citizen, but I did not know how? I think I am one of the three idiots. I studied hard, got my 1st and then worked hard, trying to carve out a good first career but I asked myself - am I truly happy? Is this the kind of life that I really want? If I wanted a 2nd life after my bond ends, I need to actively pursue it and not simply wait and hope for a miracle that I will suddenly LOVE my life/job. I started CFA in 2013, went through 2.5 years of completing the examinations and my preparation for my Masters. I tried my best to actively change the course of my life! 

Ups and downs and in 2016 after I embarked on my second life journey on my Masters, I had to decide where to go next? All the times that I sat at Brooklyn bridge, at the gym, it was always 顽固 / 终于结束的起点 / 如果我们不曾相遇 / 勇敢 - the strength that I drew from these songs were immense whenever I questioned myself, my own decisions and felt lost about the future. I would not have been where I am today if not for these songs I am sure! 

By the time I got to Dubai and started working full time, 最好的一天 became a regular on my playlist. I listed to that song a lot on my daily walks to the office because it was a constant reminder for me that you have to make everyday the best day of your life. As long as you are alive, healthy and kicking, you need to be thankful for what you have. That song also made me learnt to live life to the fullest and live each day as the best day of my life, whether it was a good or bad day so that when I look back some day, it will be so difficult to choose the best day of my life because I have lived my life to the fullest every single day!  

Mayday has been a part of my life since I was 14/15 and I know it will always be a part of my life. Lil Sis went to their new year eve concert last night and it struck me that maybe I should go too next year, spend 2-3 hours listening to the music that has kept me going all these whiles. 懂的人会懂 - we only live once and the music that they produce is truly amazing. 

Setting my new year resolutions in 2023: 

1. Go to Mayday Countdown concert in 2023

2. Take my guitar to the next level - exams, electric guitar! 

3. Spend more time with my mom/grandma/family

4. Keep up my exercise regime, eat more fruits and less snacks!

5. Learn swimming

6. Show more patience to my loved ones especially my nieces and be the guiding light for them - stay positive and remember the good of the people around me - 心想好意 口讲好话 手做好事 脚行好路

7. Play less games, watch less YT (OMG! the amount of time I spent on YT is scary!)

Of course there is still a lot that I have to write about, however, it is time to play some guitar/sleep. 2023, Fighting!

还好没有如果，让我们相遇了

Another song that touches my heart deeply is the one below. Have you ever wondered how different your life would have been if you have not met a certain someone in your life? Sometimes I wish I could have met the "right" person in life that would make me want to put down everything that I am chasing after right now. Every other day that I am here, I ask myself the meaning of what I am doing now, and I guess I am just like every walking soul out there who is in a constant search for the meaning of life and the things that we do. When you are immersed in a sea of souls and people rushing everyday to figure out how to make more money and make themselves happier, you ask yourself, "how about yourself?"

Indeed, someone once made me felt no fear of dying because I met him in my life. He changed my perspectives, my world view, etc. that's why I like a particular phrase of this set of lyrics below - "身旁有了你 匆匆轮回又有何惧"

The line that touches me the most is this, "某一天某一刻某次呼吸 我们终将在分离
而我的自传里曾经有你 没有遗憾的诗句"

Some day, a moment, in a breath, we are gonna part (life and death) but you once appeared in my life and I had no regrets.

诗句里充满感激
如果我们不曾相遇，我会是在哪里
如果我们从不曾相识，不存在这首歌曲

每秒都活着，每秒都死去
每秒都问着自己，谁不曾找寻，谁不曾怀疑，茫茫人海奔向何地

那一天那一刻那个场景
你出现在我生命 从此后从人生从新定义 从我故事里苏醒

如果我们不曾相遇 你又会在哪里
如果我们从不曾相识 人间又如何运行

晒伤的脱皮 意外的雪景
与你相依的四季 苍狗又白云 身旁有了你 匆匆轮回又有何惧

那一天 那一刻 那个场景 你出现在我生命
每一分每一秒 每个表情 故事都充满惊奇

偶然与巧合 舞动了蝶翼 谁的心头风起
前仆而后继 万千人追寻 荒漠唯一菩提
是擦身相遇 或擦肩而去 命运犹如险棋
无数时间线 无尽可能性 终于交织向你

那一天那一刻那个场景 你出现在我生命
未知的未来的 未定几率 然而此刻拥有你

某一天某一刻某次呼吸 我们终将在分离
而我的自传里曾经有你 没有遗憾的诗句
诗句里充满感激

如果我们不曾相遇 我会是在哪里
如果我们从不曾相识 不存在这首歌曲

A third of a year has gone past

I do not know how much of an influence my first career has on me but it seems like I am someone who enjoys reviewing my life and evaluating myself against the goals that I have set for myself at the beginning of each year. Indeed, a third of the year has gone past and it seems only yesterday when I was living in NYC and working in the UN. Yet, 2 months in this job felt like 2 years and I cannot exactly comment on whether time has whizzed past me or has seemed like forever, hitherto.

First, the assessment. I got a job in finance and bought the 2nd guitar of my life. 15 years ago, I tried so hard to persuade my mom to let me withdraw some money from my savings account to buy a guitar and take up guitar lessons. I attended a few lessons and eventually the guitar faded into the background and is lying somewhere in the storeroom. When I look back at those times, I feel like a loser. I had given up halfway a million times in my pursuits, be it learning swimming (Pri 3), guitar (Sec 3), or French (2005). However, through all these failures, I discover about myself - I need an end goal to motivate myself. Nevertheless, as I age, I become more persistent and there are a couple of things which I have experienced success in - completing my CFA (3 consecutive years), picking up tennis, learning Spanish (though still intermediate speaker). This year, I set out to pick up the guitar once again and maybe if things work out here in Dubai, I will try to learn swimming. Given the long and hectic work hours, I only can spare 30-40 minutes a day to learn the guitar. It will take me a long time to learn it but I will persevere this time round unlike 15 years ago. Hopefully at the end of year when I evaluate myself against my 2017 resolutions, I would be able to play a song.

Losing control of your life and not seeing what lies ahead of you creates fear in a way or another and for me, only the next 4 months is in sight now.
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不会结束的起点

Today, I would like to write a post that pays tribute to my all-time favourite band - Mayday. In particular, A-shin is such a talented composer, always writing lyrics that can ring a chord in anyone, I believe.

Unknowingly, I have been listening to their music for 18 years. The mention of that number simply scares me. Their music has been through so much ups and downs with me, stirring up emotions in me, be it happy or sad ones. I am glad I was born in their era and I had their music as a form of motivation. When my aunts used to tell me about their idols when they were teenage girls like me, I never truly understood how they felt. However, now I know how it feels to have an idol and to have their music accompany you for such a long time. You are so familiar with every chord and the lyrics (though I have a terrible memory when it comes to remembering lyrics) and it is as though you can start dancing to any tunes any time. 

从最早的温柔和咸鱼到人生海海到中间的超人，倔强和如今的我不愿让你一个人和顽固等等，没有了你们的音乐，我还能怎样顽固下去？

 

I was not such a huge fan at the beginning because I was too young to appreciate some of the deeper meaning behind their songs. Besides, they were not such a huge phenomenon in Singapore at that time so I merely listened to a few songs. However, this song 咸鱼 made me listened to their music a lot more and 倔强 consolidated my love for their music. The concerts made it even better and in the blink of an eye, 18 years have passed.

Half a year ago, I was constantly listening to this song - 顽固 because I was working on my thesis and thinking about my next step in life upon graduation. Every single line of the lyrics speak of my experiences in life, how I continue to persevere to live a life that is extraordinary. Along the way, I have given up a lot of things but I have never wanted to turn back time and lead a different life. How many people have along this journey succumb to societal pressure, commitments to raise a family, etc.? I chose to not take up any of these responsibilities and in a way, keep my soul absolutely free. Many people told me that if I do not enter into marriage, I would not have lived a complete life. Perhaps it is true, who would not want a companion that will walk through life with you till the end of the time, however I do not want to enter into a marriage for the sake of having to experience something. During my first week in NY when my emotions were like a roller coaster ride, this song has given me so much motivation and comfort. 

我身在当时你幻想的未来里 

那个狂热和冲动早已冷却的如今 

你顽固的神情消失在镜子里

只留下时光消逝的痕迹

To me, I have always been stubborn in my pursuits and after living for half a lifetime, I think I have become less stubborn and more open together with the wrinkles on my face! 

每颗心的相信每个人的际遇

每个故事的自己反复地问着自己

这些年让步的 你是否会叹息

有什么事你永远不放弃

I have my own beliefs and values system and these are all shaped by my experiences. I want to be a global citizen and for that I gave up teaching, gave up the $$ and finally I landed in NY and the very first day that I stood at the UN grounds, I felt like I was on top of the world that my dream has somehow come true. I then realise that the organisation and world is not what I had imagined it to be after all. In my life thus far, I have asked myself repeatedly how my life would have been different if I had made certain decisions differently along the way. That said, I never want to turn back time and change my life. I compromised on certain things, sacrificed some and although I do sigh over bad decisions, I still hold on to the things that I strongly believe in, especially when it comes to love and work. I ask myself, what is it that I will never give up in life? I cannot recall the number of times that I asked myself if coming to the UN had been the wrong decision. 

一次一次你吞下了泪滴

一次一次拼回破碎自己

一天一天你是否还相信

活在你心深处那顽固的自己

When I am down, especially during my time in NY, I swallowed my tears and got myself to plough and stand back up again. I may have lost faith and belief in myself but I told myself that I will never give up before putting up a good fight. I am sure I will be able to find my next step in life as long as I persevere. 

你追逐你呼吸你嚣张的任性

鼻青脸肿地哭过若无其事地忘记

如果你能预知这条路的陷阱

我想你依然错得很过瘾

In life, we fail because we are too prideful and self-conceited at times. When that happens, we all cry ourselves to sleep but not soon after, we forget about it. If we had known what we were signing up ourselves for, would we still have made that same decision? For me, I hate failures but I will never shun away from them and wish for turning back time and make sure I choose the “right” decision in life. If I were to be given a chance to choose again, I think I would still have chosen teaching as a first career. It has made my life much tougher now to switch to the corporate world but I believe the job has offered me much as well. And if I were to be given a choice to stay in teaching, I think I would still leave the profession. I might have been wrong to leave but I am enjoying my mistakes because they make me a better person. I would still have gone to the UN even if it meant seeing the realities of life.  

走过的叫足迹走不到叫憧憬

学会收拾起叛逆学会隐藏了表情

卸下了这面具 我想说谢谢你

谢谢你一路陪我到这里

Wherever we have been, we left footprints. Wherever we have not been, we look forward to being there some day. As you age, enter into the workforce, you learn to be less confrontational and you learn to hide your true self, your emotions. I am never who I am in front of others. Only a selected few truly know who I am. I hid myself because I do not think that everyone will know how to appreciate who you are as a person or even care about who you are as a person. In the workforce, all that people want to see is whether you can produce the results and bring in the $$. For all those who truly know who I am and appreciate me for being me, thank you. Thank you for journeying with me, I may not say it all the time but these people know who they are and they will always be people whom I hold on dearly to. Besides my family, this person comes to my mind instantly. He may not know he is the privilege few but indeed he is. 

你当时相信的那些事情

会在如今变成美丽风景

每当我迟疑总从不曾忘记

活在我心深处的那顽固的自己

Whenever I question myself and my decisions and feel like I might crumble or fail, there is an inner voice that constantly reminds me how tough I have been so far and that empowers me to achieve all that I have now. Life is beautiful. 

During my time in NY, music was indeed my best companion. On the subway, in the gym, before bed and JJ Lin’s songs were constantly replaying in my head. One day, I decided to listen to every song of Mayday’s new album and that was when this song 终于结束的起点 became one of my other favourites. 

I think it speaks of a certain beautiful memory of a someone and we all have in some point in our life met this someone:

还记不记得我和你最初的相信

还记不记得孩子般简单的爱情

我们仿佛天生在一起 用不完的默契和话题

带上了耳机沉入曾经的回忆

幸福的回忆是追求幸福的天敌

寂寞的问候是加深寂寞的陷阱

当时无限珍藏的回忆变成无处躲藏的雨季

让最小事情都变成最痛叹息

每一段伤痛的爱情 都困住两颗想挣脱伤痛的心

如果说可惜就在下一站更珍惜

也许一个勇敢的决定 能换两个重生的约定

我们到了站 这一站叫终于

终于结束的起点 终于卸下句点

终于我们告别 终于我们又回到原点

流干了眼泪日日夜夜

未来的我们也许能说声好久不见 

爱情并不是对与错简单是非题

相爱的两人不一定能相守相依

因为相爱所以在一起 因为深爱所以又分离

约在下一站 车票是你我勇气

每一段遗憾的曾经 当时名字都叫憧憬我们的心

不能忘怀的 至少释怀吧在风里

那些无法看破的叹息 某天会是看淡的风景

虽然那风景永远有谁缺席

站在这起点 其实没有走远 

其实不愿告别 其实我心中依然想念

拥抱这一刻岁岁年年

就要在今天头也不回地告别从前 奔向明天

不回头不眷恋的明天

I have shared some really beautiful memories with someone in my life. We did not have too much interaction at the start but after we did, we hit off so well. We could talk about anything under the sun and when I listened to this song and its lyrics, memories simply flooded back. Those wonderful memories might become a hurdle in what I look out for in the future for a soul mate and surprisingly, this very someone somehow always seem to know when I am missing him. Not once but several times when I thought about how he was doing, he sent me a text. I think I am a prideful person and I do not have the habit to pick up my phone to send him a message to check in on his life. Sometimes it slips my mind and sometimes I just did not want to seem like I was dependent on him and want to know how he is doing. Yet he never failed to send a greeting when I thought about him. 

I do not think I will forget about the common memories that we shared, given how short term my memory can be and how fast I move on in life. However, our paths were never meant to cross in the first place so eventually we came to a point where our paths had to diverge again. It was a beginning that would eventually end and as we drifted back to our own destined ways, we hope some day we can meet somewhere in this world again. 

I especially like how A-shin has expressed what love truly is. It does not mean that we can be with the someone whom we think we truly love at the end of the day. The person who will walk through life with you till the end of time is the most suitable person at that point in your life, not everyone gets to be with their perfect match. When you truly love a person yet meet him or her at the wrong time, you get together because of love. You split up because you love each other too much and cannot bear to see the relationship turn sour. You know that when you try too hard to hold on to something that was not meant to be, it is pointless because someday you will look back and realise how silly you had been. It is just the way our world is. People move on too quickly and time heals all wounds. Yet if it is a wound, the scar will always be there,  永远有谁缺席. The scar is a constant reminder of that person whom you have dearly missed in your life.

For me, I think from time to time I will reminisce about these lovely memories of that person and our time together. I am a sentimental person and though I have physically and mentally moved on, I have not gone that far emotionally. It is just that there are still plenty of experiences waiting for me ahead and I told myself that I have to move on. 

To be continued…. 

坚持是否就能走到永远

This is one song that has been repeating on my playlist recently. The lyrics really set me thinking about many issues in life, not just relationships but also in all our pursuits in life.

雨傘弄丟在下雨天 還沒回應手機也沒電
久別重逢卻趕時間 事與願違天天不斷上演
無能為力的瞬間 騙自己愛能克服一切
It's too bad bad bad 有心人怎麼都看不對眼
等待緣分等感覺 等過多少年 是誰一直在身邊
It's too bad bad bad 兩顆心無法一起到終點
我越一廂情願 你卻越走越遠 騙自己愛能克服一切
一錯再錯 越挫越勇的境界 何時才能停歇
一次一次 沒有好好的告別 心片片撕裂

First, relationships. I wonder if someone truly loves another person and persists in his/her pursuit, can the two of them eventually end up together even if it has always been a one-sided affair? If there were to be more contact and communication to enable two persons to better understand each other, would then there be a possibility for the two to get together? A conversation that I had with a friend set me thinking really deep. There will not be more contact if one party is uninterested and love cannot be forced. I do not know which is the better side to take, that love can be nurtured or love cannot be forced. I used to think that love cannot be forced and that it is a clear cut "yes" or "no". In my entire life, I can only remember a guy who persisted in his pursuit for 4 years. He always loved the girl throughout that 4 years but he dated someone else between those years. Nonetheless, the girl never once gave him a chance and always maintained a "friend-zone" with him. Perhaps he was not proactive enough, perhaps he did not know how to win the girl's heart, perhaps, perhaps. Eventually he gave up and now he is happily married to someone else. That made me feel that "love cannot be forced". However, the older I get, the more I think otherwise. I start to believe that love can be nurtured if given sufficient time and each other willing to give the other person a chance.

Second, dreams. Can you attain your goals so long as you persevere? Perhaps there are some things in life that once you miss the opportunity or the timing, you will never be able to accomplish it. I do not know which side to take as usual. For example, if you do not start learning piano since young, it is impossible for you to become a professional pianist no matter how hard you try. Therefore, if you have a dream to become a pianist or musician, you really have to start young. What if you do not have those resources to pursue your dreams as a child, has that door to your dream shut forever?

Life is full of questions to ponder upon everyday.

特别喜欢这一段歌词，写出我心里某一角落的想法。确实啊，无能为力的瞬间时，我经常告诉自己爱能克服一切。 我也经常问自己，等待缘分等对的感觉，等对的人，等过多少年啊，却始终与寂寞拥抱。时不时，我会想是谁一直在我身边，会是那个会奋不顾身和你走完一生的人呢？或许他已经出现只是你还没发觉，又或者他已不知不觉地离开了。最近很常看到或听到两个相爱的人又或者应该说曾经相爱的人变成两条平行线似的，我会想，是什么能把爱如此轻易地撕裂？ 他她；是一个能聊生活的人，聊政治，聊严肃及最芝麻绿豆的小事的人，聊生命所有的大大小小，是一个能对你微笑，能逗你笑，能为了你笑的人，相信你，呵护你，在两个人起争执时，绝对不轻易说分手，和你谈一场不分手的恋爱的人。是否达到了所有的“标准”后，自然而然两人之间就会有爱，还是爱能产生或包容所有的这一切？

Frejat - Segredos

One very nice Portuguese song recommended by my Brazilian friend. Not just applying to love but to many different aspects of our lives. If you love something or have a passion for something, go get it. Chase after your dreams and never let go.


In Portuguese: 

Eu procuro um amor
Que ainda não encontrei
Diferente de todos que amei...

Nos seus olhos quero descobrir
Uma razão para viver
E as feridas dessa vida
Eu quero esquecer...

Pode ser que eu a encontre
Numa fila de cinema
Numa esquina
Ou numa mesa de bar...

Procuro um amor
Que seja bom prá mim
Vou procurar
Eu vou até o fim...

E eu vou tratá-la bem
Prá que ela não tenha medo
Quando começar a conhecer
Os meus segredos...

Hum! Hum! Huuuum!...

In English:

I'm looking for one love
One that I've never found before
One, different from all those I ever loved

In her eyes, I want to find a reason to live
And the wounds of my life, I just want to forget them

Who knows I'll find her in a queue to the theather
Or standing in the corner of a street
Or sitting at the table of some pub

I'm looking for one love
One that'd make me feel good
And I'll go on
Looking for it until the end

And I'll be very nice to her
So that she doesn't get affraid
as she learns more of my secrets

I'm looking for one love, one reason to live
And the wounds of my life, I just want to forget them

Maybe I'll stumble over the words, not knowing what to say
But I'll stand tall and won't leave there without her by my side

Source: athttp://lyricstranslate.com/en/segredos-secrets.html

被遗忘的

他的喘息终于远去了

这夜寒分了 心是凉的

我的孤独已经到站了

受够的曲折 不再闹了

有那麽多的忧伤围绕着

疲惫的双眼还凝望着

有人被失落寂寞促拥着

这样的片刻 真想唱歌

爱像风中的风筝 有翱翔的旅程

而被遗忘的是 那些放开手的人

残忍或不残忍 也不唏嘘难以割舍

而被遗忘的是 那些放开手的人

被遗忘的是 放开手的人

有那麽多的忧伤围绕着

疲惫的双眼还凝望着

这失落犹然美丽的时刻

这夜紧闭着双唇 我只想唱歌

爱像风中的风筝 有翱翔的旅程

而被遗忘的是 那些放开手的人

残忍或不残忍 已不唏嘘难以割舍

啊被遗忘的是 那些放开手的人

被遗忘的是 放开手的人

爱像风中的风筝 有翱翔的旅程

而被遗忘的是 我这放开手的人

不会残忍 也不会难以割舍

而被遗忘的是 我这放开手的人

飘过山又飘过河 缓缓的 淡淡的

被遗忘的是 放开手的人

我该遗忘的是 你赞美过的单纯

被爱情遗忘的 是我这已放开手的人

20120108_華人星光大道總冠軍賽來賓_林俊傑_JJ_學不會

Extremely engrossed in his performance, nice vocal, nice song, nice piano playing skills, nice performance...

星光's next big star: 安东倪 Sorry that I loved you

Everything I hear him sing, my eyes tear. It's his voice! Now I am so glad that he finally has his own album. :))

And of course, I hope this song will touch your heart and make you tear too! :)) It is getting difficult to find someone who is good looking and can sing so well....

没那么简单

没那么简单
就能找到聊得来的伴
尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
没那么简单
就能去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯 不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听
自己作决定 不想拥有太多情绪 一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机
舒服窝在沙发里

爱没有那么容易
每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪
轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那么容易

才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心
所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心
但却最动心的记忆

一旦不再年轻，事情也变得好复杂，不是吗？

幸福的時光

一直揹在肩上的夢想 像不熄滅卻靠不近的星光
學偽裝 學爭搶 如果就該這樣 又為什麼會感傷

我只能夠抱緊妳的害怕 因為我也沒有解答
也許人的心都要被擠壓 再透過掙扎去長大

安靜的眼淚 滴在樓頂的地上 加蓋的夢能蓋在哪
黑暗暝 落雨聲 鳥仔天光猶原會唱歌
想回到那年幸福的時光 口袋裡是滿滿的希望

再難也敢去闖 只因有你在身旁 風中才不像流浪
攜帶著那段幸福的時光 平靜每個失眠的晚上

緊握一種信仰 不要翅膀要堅強 雪花融在眼裡 看見火花

每次出發最喜歡坐靠窗 想著未來看著遠方
現實和想像多麼不一樣 好奇真相要有膽量

安靜的眼淚 滴在樓頂的地上 加蓋的夢能蓋在哪
黑暗暝 落雨聲 鳥仔天光猶原會唱歌

想回到那年幸福的時光 口袋裡是滿滿的希望
再難也敢去闖 只因有你在身旁 風中才不像流浪
攜帶著那段幸福的時光 平靜每個失眠的晚上
緊握一種信仰 不要翅膀要堅強 雪花融在眼裡 看見火花

我最幸福的時光，仍然深深刻在记忆里。。。

Home

Many a times, I think that the word above has been used too loosely. Whenever you tell someone you are going HOME, everyone will interpret that you are going back to where your family lives since most of us live with our parents in Singapore. In addition, you store your house number as HOME or HOME SWEET HOME.

Watch the below video and I would like to share with everyone a different perspective of home, at least the way I decipher HOME:



I love Westlife's songs all my life. Of course they are not the original composer or singer of this song. I have the original version of this song as well but I guess the way Westlife related it touched my heart more.

If you have been away from home for a period of time, as in you lived abroad or went overseas to stay for more than a month or two, I believe this song would have brought back memories of your stay overseas, when you were away from your loved ones. For me, during the times when I were in Stockholm, though I did not literally miss home as much as I would have expected, I realise that every time I encountered some unhappiness, I thought of HOME immediately and all the care and support that would have come about if I were not that far away.

After 22 years of existence, I have come to interpret HOME from another perspective. It is not a place where you sleep, eat, drink, watch TV or relax but more than that. It should not be merely a physical venue but rather a place where your heart gets the rest and comfort that it is desperately seeking, after a long, trying and frustrated day or period out. Some people would request their home to have this, this, this and that facilities, air-conditioner, games, internet access, big kitchen, comfortable sofa blah blah blah. Yet I feel that if your home is full of warmth, care and concern from people who truly care about you and vice versa, those material needs somehow become immaterial. Those people who constantly seek the material comfort are people whom I deem feel the lack of warmth in their house, which is why they chose to substitute material comfort for genuine care and concern.

Just like when I was in Stockholm, my room had nothing but a kitchen, table and internet access. I had no gigantic, comfortable and leather-skinned sofa, no spacious decorated room, no bolsters, my favourite soft-toys or the so-called spring mattresses that ensure you a good night's sleep. I was away from all my favourite clothes, my mom's definition of clean and white clothes that are hand-washed by her and her well-maintained house. The TV in the room had none of my favourite sequels, serials or entertainment shows and soccer. Yet, at the end of the day, even a year after I left Stockholm, I still deeply miss that place and will always call it my HOME.

So, I hope in the near future, if I ever get to set up my own family and a HOME, I wish for it to be a place full of genuine care and concern for everyone that belongs to it, away from all the hassles of nagging and conflicts and of course, somewhere where every of its member will deeply miss and proudly call it their HOME wherever they may be. With the above all said, that is provided I do have a home of my own in future. :)

Now ask yourself, is your so-called HOME now a place like what I have just mentioned?

梦想的心

每当我望着电视荧光屏 

一个个抱着梦想的人 

努力勇敢追逐他的梦 

波涛汹涌的挫败感总是涌上心头  

那年对自己承诺过的梦 

如今已不在咫尺 

随着时间的流失 

我是否已经适应了周遭  

我选择对现实投降 

宁愿自己不曾梦过 

我选择对环境屈服 

戴上保护自我的装 

只有真正付出的人 

值得拥有梦的权力  

我看着堆积如山的书本 

知识积少成多的成果 

很庆幸流露出的感动 

我应该调整自己的心态  

那对歌唱的热忱是无可取代的 

我这短暂的快乐 

不是我要想要的 

时光机是否能找回掉了的梦想 

＊＊说过音乐是永垂不朽的 

却默默笑着对它挥挥手 

难道我已彻底忘得干净＊＊  

我即将脱下保护色 

以新的我面对恐惧 

让梦想不再是幻想 

自由带我展翅高飞 

让幸福不再是谎言 

彼此依靠等待发光

Meaningful Lyrics?

你不是真正的快乐

人群中哭着
你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会
梦或痛或心动了
你已经决定了
你已经决定了

你静静忍着
紧紧把昨天在拳心握着
而回忆越是甜
就是越伤人了
越是在手心留下
密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是
你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了
也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂
关在永远锁上的躯壳

这世界笑了
於是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则
不是你的选择
於是你含着眼泪
飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞的走着

你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯
完全的愈合
我站在你左侧
却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾
一直到老了
然后才后悔着

你值得真正的快乐
你应该脱下
你穿的保护色
为什麽失去了
还要被惩罚呢
能不能就让悲伤
全部结束在此刻
重新开始活着

我相信这首歌应该可以述说出很多人的心声吧！你是否真正的快乐？？

An elderly at home is like a treasure of all

My brother sent me this song hours ago
I was busy with school work
Didn't pay much attention to it though I tried to catch the lyrics
Felt the song was touching but couldn't identify with it
Until I sat down quietly in front of my laptop,
focus on the lyrics and recalled my childhood
The title of the song is "Grandma's words" 阿嬷的话 by Xiao Huang Qi
The same singer who sang Ni Shi Wo De Yan..
Maybe some people don't really have the chance to live and interact with their grandparents
Maybe some people have really poor grandparents at home
Maybe some people hate their grandparents even
But that's definitely not the case for me when it comes to my MATERNAL grandmother

She was the one who changed my diapers when I was young
She was the one whom I never fail to call out to after I poo-ed
She was the one who bathed and dressed me
She was the one who fed me and cooked for me
She was the one whom I lean on whenever I needed a shoulder at young
She was the one who taught me the morals and principles in life
She was the one who scolded and hitted me when I did something wrong
She was the one who signed my school test papers or exam papers whenever my mom wasn't around
She was there in every single aspect of my childhood.

Today, I am no longer dependent on her but it always makes me feel good to be in her arms, to have her cuddle me because she provides a sense of belonging and security. I believe some of you must be thinking of your grandmother right now, especially those who are separated with them by life and death. No tears, no regrets because despite her physical absence, her warmth should always be in your memory. :)

For me, I am grateful that my grandmother is still with me, watching every bit of my life. But I wonder how things will be when that day comes.

Enjoy the song.... Oh anyway, it's in Hokkien so if you didn't understand, I provided the English translation...

在细汉的时阵阮阿嬷对我尚好
甲尚好的物伴拢会留乎我
伊嘛定定带我去幼稚园看人在七桃
看人在办公伙儿看人在觅相找
伊定定跟阮说叫阮着要好好仔读册
呒通大汉像恁老爸仔这么狼狈
在彼个时阵阮拢听拢呒
阿嬷你到底是在讲什么
大汉了后才知影阿嬷的话
我会甲永远永远放块心肝底
想可一步一步的过去
定定拢会乎人真难忘
时间一分一秒块过去
在阮的心内定定拢会想到伊
阿嬷你今嘛在叨位
阮在叫你你甘有听到
阮的认真甲阮的成功你甘有看到
阮在叫你你知影没
阿嬷你今嘛过的好么
甘有人块甲你照顾
希望后世人阮搁会冻来乎你疼
作你永远的孙仔
搁叫你一声"阿嬷"

When I was young, my grandmother treated me the best.
In the sense, she always left the best things for me.
She frequently took me to the nursery to watch other kids play
to watch adults that were busy with work, with searching for love etc
She always reminded me to get a good education
Otherwise I will end up like my dad, trading sweat for bread
But I never really understand the true meaning of those words at that time
Grandma, what were you trying to drive at exactly?
I finally understood what she meant after I grew up
I will keep those words in my heart forever
Recalling every step I took and every decision I made in the past
It's really unforgettable
Though the clock is ticking away and taking away our lives
I will think of her every now and then
Where are you, my grandmother?
Can you hear me calling out to you?
The effort I put in my life, the success I have enjoyed, have you witnessed it?
Do you know that I am calling out to you?
Grandma, I wonder if you are living well
I wonder if there's anyone taking good care of you
I hope I can be loved by you in my next life
and be your beloved grandchild once again
So as to be able to greet you "My Grandma"

Dedicate this to- My Grandmother, Chris & Omma.

哭

Alright, this is a really old chinese song.. but my friend was chatting with me over whether guys should cry and all that.. I tot it's perfectly fine for guys to cry no matter how tough u can be... Sometimes, crying really makes u feel better.... So i sincerely dedicate this song to all my guy friends who find crying difficult or embarrassed! Come On, JUST CRY AS YOU WISH! I promise I wont luff at you k? Meaningful lyrics!! 以前我看到朋友哭　我很羨慕

可是我怎麼逗我自己　怎麼弄我自己

我的眼淚都流不出

總覺得能夠哭的朋友　都很幸福

能夠把滿腔的無耐　滿腔的痛苦

讓淚水帶走

最苦是淚水在哽在心頭　流不出

就像要愛卻不懂得怎麼去愛

自己哭過後才明白

流過淚的眼睛　將生命看得更清楚

只有真正懂得付出的人

才懂得何為哭　為何哭

再堅強的心偶爾也會脆弱

心會痛　心也會感動

只有曾經真心付出的人

才懂得何為哭　為何哭

淚水要記得為真心保留

眼淚別白白的流