Yes, I made the transition from Dubai to London and have finally settled down in London after 1.5 months - exams cleared, IT settled, found a place to stay, some social badminton, etc. but I honestly miss my life in Dubai.
Taking a severe pay cut was one of the things that I managed to come to terms with pretty quickly since I knew it was going to happen and it was all about managing expectations. I enjoy living in London, since it's summer now, weather is cooling and lots of events happen in London all the time. Changing a team was a good move as well - my direct boss is someone who is really kind and I truly enjoy working with him, hitherto. In terms of work, given that I was highly valued in Dubai, I was given all the interesting projects to work on but here in London, it is not always so but I still hope I can learn as much as I can.
Back to my personal life, the first few weeks when I was here, I was busy with exams, settling in, etc. and all I did was sleep the weekends away given that I had to work late all the time during the weekdays, so much so that it has made me kinda lazy. I recently read an article about the importance of discipline - how it is painful to discipline ourselves and exert restraint in our daily lives - eating the right kind of food, exercising, staying committed, etc. I feel that I have discipline when it comes to certain things but truly lacks discipline when it comes to many things.
One, I eat too much chocolate and sweet stuff here in the UK. Since I was here, I have eaten close to 4 packets of this really nice chocolate and hazelnut crepes from Lidl, 3 packets of x16 M&S teacakes, countless bars of chocolates, nuts and chocolate raisins. I think it is really unhealthy to have so much sugar intake though I go to the gym and all. This is worse than when I was in Dubai when I used to buy tons of chocolate bars, feast on Tim Tam's, nutella bars, etc. when I had to work late into the night. I have been telling myself that I need to put a stop to all these snacks but I always feel that why make my life so difficult and stop myself from eating all these snacks that I truly love? Life is short, I I should enjoy it while it lasts.
Then I decided to join a running group that my family started to clock 50km of running within a month. i am 9 days away and I have clocked only 24.6km, not even halfway. To get to 50km, it means i would have to run an average of 3km per day. It is not just the running for me I feel, it is also the aftermath of cleaning the dirty and soiled clothes that I absolutely dread and also the inner desire within me - I do not feel compelled to accomplish the challenge. I tried to discipline myself in other ways though - I signed up for bike sharing to force myself to cycle to work and back because I paid for it so I would feel compelled to use the service but I do not know how long I can sustain it before I will eventually give up. Hahaha! There is one thing that I managed to convince myself to keep up with and that is badminton - I looked for groups to join and I would even travel 45-50mins just so I can play badminton.
I told myself to read up more about my work, to brush my knowledge and I have been doing so during my free time but question is - for how long can I keep it up before I get sick and tired again? Almost half of the people from my analyst class has left the bank and went on to pursue greener pastures and I was telling my sis that at times, I wonder if I should? I do not think that I am weaker than them in terms of ability but I just do not know what to do next? I enjoy my current work, albeit the crazy hours. Many a times, the crazy hours can simply be avoided in my humble opinion but given that I am in one of the best jobs (IMO again), I do not see myself quitting IB and going to some other field. Some of my friends have moved on to do their own startups, others to private equity, some to SWFs, and others to corporates etc. What about me? For me, I only want to become better - go to a better firm or a strong PE firm but I am afraid of the endless competition tbh. All my life, I have been competing or rather forced to compete and I cannot help feel tired at times.
I have been lying in my bed - been on youtube or sleeping for 2 Saturday's, like it or not. I enjoy nua-ing on my bed and it gives me utility to not do anything, having fried my brain for the entire week at work but sometimes I feel guilty for doing what I do. I feel like I am wasting my time away lying on my bed. I had wanted to go watch Wimbledon today but I wasn't up for queuing for tickets in the wee hours of the morning hence I gave up after having woken up at 11.30 am.
I moved on from Dubai to London. Although I do miss my friends in Dubai a lot, I knew I had to move on. Dubai is a transient place and my friends will move away from Dubai some day too. It was only a matter of time and hence I told myself that I have to move on. It was not difficult for me to settle into London emotionally, particularly helped by the weather (very good thus far), because it has its own charms and I still get to do the things that I enjoy - badminton. However, I never felt guilty when I used to lie around at home in Dubai on my Saturdays. I played badminton for 4 hours on Friday usually and I would usually sleep my Saturday away before going back to work on Sunday so why do I feel differently here in London?
The fact that I am in Europe now, I could always take the weekend to travel somewhere and especially since I am such a "travelholic". However, I do not see myself doing so. Some days I just feel that I have been to all these places and what is the point of me going there on my own again?
I am blogging because I feel that I need a change in my life - which is why I chose to move to London but I see myself lingering in my old self in Dubai - nua-ing on the weekends and seemingly missing the tax-free income hahahaha...
How does it feel to be not unhappy but not feeling happy either?
