It was a peaceful day for me, and I did all the things that I enjoyed right from the clock struck 12a.m. Sleeping, taking trains, travelling, shopping, gifting, getting new shoes, exercising, eating my favourite food - hazelnuts, Japanese food. They seem like usual activities in my daily life but doing it on this special day makes me feel that I am a blessed person to be able to enjoy these activities even in my daily life.
When I was 19 going on 20, I felt like I was super OLD. I was no longer a teenager and I was kinda sick of having fun. I wanted to grow up quickly, to have things that I cannot afford as a kid, to travel as much as I can to see the world, to have more freedom, etc. Now that I am in this final year before I enter into another new decade, I feel like I am 20 all over again. Maybe because I have been hanging around with kids since I graduated from university so I feel young at heart. Besides, I am studying now and I do not feel like I am not having fun in life. I have always wanted to change my environment, to change my life circumstances, to impact lives blah blah blah. I once read this quote,
Some people think that a place can save them, like if they could just be somewhere else, their lives would be totally different. They could finally be the person they always wanted to be. A place is a place. If you really want things to change, you can no matter where you are.Now that I have finally changed a place, I can relate to this quote even more. I realise that me being me, I know myself so well. I know my own whims and fancies but sometimes I just had to go along with social obligations. My perspective of life will not change regardless of where I am, Singapore or any part of the world. I face the same emotions because the people around me are similar but different. I continue to face different challenges when it comes to interpersonal relationships and how I handle my life. I cannot run away from dreadful affairs that I have to face in Singapore even when I am thousands of miles away from home.
The challenge for me when I get back home is to continue to be whom I am able to be while I am here. Smiling and laughing at the smallest things in life that make me happy, being who I want to be without fears of being judged. Happy B-day, Gisella, Gizelle, Gazelle, Ginnelle!
