When I entered into my 3rd year in middle school, for the first time in my life, I felt something serious about this one guy in my class. When I had to give out files for Chinese class, I saw his Chinese name and was not sure how to pronounce it but I wanted to know him better. I then turned to my pseudo good friend in class and asked. She teased me about it and knew that I was kind of into this guy. However, I denied because I did not want anyone to know about it. A secret is best kept if you are the only one who knows about it. So I insisted that I was curious about one particular Chinese character and wanted to confirm the pronunciation of the word. Somehow, fate has its own twist and this pseudo good friend of mine ended up carrying a torch for this guy a few months later and this was made known to the entire class. Eventually, they got together and now they are engaged!
I feel happy for the both of them since they have been dating since middle school and have gone through so much ups and downs together. I do not feel like I have missed an opportunity because the 'me' a decade ago is so much different from the 'me' today. I was not a confident person back then, and often had to hide my flaws and inferiority by putting up a strong front. I was bad at expressing myself as well and seriously doubt any decent guy would take a 2nd look at me. So, I was never a choice for him to begin with. Besides, I do not think we are compatible as well. I might like his personality but he probably did not think much about my personality. For a period of time, I was really good friends with him (not because I still feel something for him) because I really admire his personality. However, I never really put in much effort to maintain this friendship and then we stopped talking much to each other.
Occasionally, I think about how my life would be different if I had made different choices while growing up but I never regret my decisions, especially when it comes to love. I once wished for a simple life, get married and settle down with kids. I do not really care about money, status, fame, wealth, etc. and had wanted someone who will walk through life with me till the end of time. However, I do not know what has happened over the years that made me decided that this is not what I want in life ultimately. Maybe I would eventually divorce that someone that I was married to if I had chosen marriage as an option. But MAYBE. Fortunately, I am a happy person now and I know that my choices have helped shape my character and made me a better person now.
Over the years, I have fallen in love with others and also out but all these people whom I once felt something for, I hold them to my heart dearly. I hope that they will find happiness in life and be blessed. Almost all of them have moved on in life and some are even married with kids. This is really a sign of old age for me and this guy is probably one of the last.
Love is never about who falls in love with who first, or who met first. It is always about meeting the right person at the right time. Dedicated specially to 'bestie' and I wish him happiness! :)
对的人，或许会在错的时间去敲你的门 The right person, may appear at your door at the wrong time,
错的人，却可能是你一生最难忘的人 The wrong person, may be the most unforgettable person in your life,
陌生人，也许会变成最亲密的爱人 The stranger, may become the dearest person to you
别以为不可能，什么都有可能，在这一场旅程 Do not think that it is impossible because anything is possible, in this journey of life.
