I told myself that I have to write at least once every quarter given this space has been really empty ever since I started working. Today, I shall write about the thing that has taken away my time from writing - Work.
My affair with this job started in 2016 November in a small apartment in NY, in a little kitchen where I contemplated joining this field, given all the talk about the $$, the prestige, and how it is a field for elites blah blah blah. Sub-consciously, I view it as a challenge to get into the industry, to put all my CFA knowledge into use, to become a true finance professional. I browse the job websites of all the banking institutions, random private equity firms and even did a free internship to hone my modeling skills. The call for an interview finally came in December and you cannot imagine my excitement back then. It was not easy to start afresh in a second career given the success that I have enjoyed in my first career and me calling it quits when I was about to be promoted. Three months later, I found myself moving to the fifth different city in a span of eighteen months. Loads went through my mind - the culture, the work, the uncertainty, the new city such as finding an apartment near to work, and not forgetting the desert weather. Many a times, I broke down and questioned myself if I made the right decision, moving out of my comfort zone, starting a new career like a fresh graduate and be subjected to judgment, sarcasm, etc. When I looked back at my decision back then to go against all odds and how I bite the bullet and pulled it through, I would like to give myself a pat on the back because no one can imagine what I went through in the last 3.5 years at work and 5 years from leaving my family, friends and home behind and plunge into the unknown.
The purpose of my post today is not to brag about my experiences but to write about the values that my work has taught me.
1. Grit - You are constantly given "deadlines" that you have to meet and even if you do not, no lives are lost but you still have to adhere to it. You find yourself working into the wee hours of the morning, your brain entirely fried and physically drained but you still show up the next morning at 9am despite sleeping only 2-3 hours. Two all-nighters in a row in my second month into my internship - I can only thank my mahjong all-nighters for providing the training ground in my younger days, that you have to concentrate no matter how tired you are otherwise the dollars will fly (LOL). This job is really all about perseverance because there is an end in sight in every project or assignment although this cycle will continuously repeat itself throughout your career. :p I have pulled countless all-nighters since the first one and each time I have to go through it, I told myself perhaps I have other calling. I have to thank this job for training my resilience and perseverance and that is how I survived my analyst years.
2. Growth mindset - I cannot say how important this is until I speak with my family members or friends. Often, we feel that we have stopped learning ever since we left school and we expect our education to have taught us everything that we need to survive in the workforce, particularly knowledge. We would want to consult the "experts" in the field when we are faced with uncertainty or ask for help however, in this job, you always have to "have a first cut" at something before someone more senior steps in to guide you or perhaps no one is able to guide you (LOL). I constantly learn, read up on processes, technical knowledge, modeling skills (I am still learning new things now) and learn how to "deal with people" and "manage expectations". Everyone wants to be prioritised but you only have a pair of hands and eyes and a single brain to work on something, in case anyone realised. In contrast to my first career whereby your learning curve hits a plateau rather quickly (if you are a fast learner) and then you find yourself repeating yourself over and over again and the work can get mundane. You are doing the same thing albeit with different people whereas now, I am doing different things with different people all the time. The way to excel in this job is to always be one step ahead and keep learning and believing that you can learn.
However, I feel that there is a dark side to this job at the same time:
1. Trust - you never know who is playing you out so your trust in someone diminishes over time no matter how strong that initial trust could be. You can only trust yourself, fight for your career and win your own mandates.
2. You cannot show your weakness or that you are vulnerable - the moment you do, you will feel judged by others all the time (because everyone is so smart). You are down on the rankings and you are "no longer important". Everyone is working hard and pulling all-nighters, why aren't you and why can't you? There is no excuse for being weak, you have to be strong all the time.
I love my job, however loving my job = losing myself and not being able to love myself in the way I want to anymore and being myself.
