I do not know how much of an influence my first career has on me but it seems like I am someone who enjoys reviewing my life and evaluating myself against the goals that I have set for myself at the beginning of each year. Indeed, a third of the year has gone past and it seems only yesterday when I was living in NYC and working in the UN. Yet, 2 months in this job felt like 2 years and I cannot exactly comment on whether time has whizzed past me or has seemed like forever, hitherto.
First, the assessment. I got a job in finance and bought the 2nd guitar of my life. 15 years ago, I tried so hard to persuade my mom to let me withdraw some money from my savings account to buy a guitar and take up guitar lessons. I attended a few lessons and eventually the guitar faded into the background and is lying somewhere in the storeroom. When I look back at those times, I feel like a loser. I had given up halfway a million times in my pursuits, be it learning swimming (Pri 3), guitar (Sec 3), or French (2005). However, through all these failures, I discover about myself - I need an end goal to motivate myself. Nevertheless, as I age, I become more persistent and there are a couple of things which I have experienced success in - completing my CFA (3 consecutive years), picking up tennis, learning Spanish (though still intermediate speaker). This year, I set out to pick up the guitar once again and maybe if things work out here in Dubai, I will try to learn swimming. Given the long and hectic work hours, I only can spare 30-40 minutes a day to learn the guitar. It will take me a long time to learn it but I will persevere this time round unlike 15 years ago. Hopefully at the end of year when I evaluate myself against my 2017 resolutions, I would be able to play a song.
Losing control of your life and not seeing what lies ahead of you creates fear in a way or another and for me, only the next 4 months is in sight now.
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