“Dong Dong!” There goes the dreary bell for French lessons once again.
Clarissa shuffled over to the classroom cupboard and hurriedly took out the files for the subject. As the French representative, it was Clarissa’s responsibility to ensure that everyone has his or her file for the lesson ready before the teacher enters the classroom. However, as this was only the fifth week of the semester, Clarissa found it unexceptionally trying to recognize all her new classmates’ name, especially when it came to Xavier – the one whom she secretly admires on the very first day she stepped into this new class.
To speed up the process of distribution, she decided to seek her best friend, Joanna’s help since she excelled in conversing French and was the chairperson of the class as well. Unknowingly, she came across that special name and despite recognizing whom that file belonged to, Clarissa was more interested in knowing how to pronounce the name then distributing the file. In her corner of her eye, Joanna caught Clarissa blushing as she stared onto the file.
“Oh my goodness! You can’t be interested in this guy, are you?” questioned Joanna.
Clarissa was taken aback and could not give an immediate reply. However, inferior as she was, she chose to deny her feelings and brushed Joanna off with an unyielding, “NO, of course not!”
Perhaps it was God’s will that Clarissa was to have this infatuation carved onto her heart for the rest of the life because not long after that file distribution incident, she started chatting online with Xavier. The two of them will log on to Hotmail’s Messenger Service every weekend to talk about anything under the Sun. Sometimes, the conversation revolved around gossips about their classmates, and other days they would then discuss about their interests, hobbies and their own families. The chats made Clarissa grew in confidence that she was not an ugly duckling whom love will elude her and that there is always someone for everyone out there. However, just when she thought the relationship would blossom, Joanna confessed her love for Xavier and tides took a turn.
As though it had all been rehearsed since childhood, Clarissa knew it was time for her to take the passenger seat next to Joanna once again. The latter had excelled in every aspect in life compared to Clarissa except for academic achievements. Thus, everyone labeled Clarissa the “nerd” while Joanna was often viewed as popular, street-smart and every other antonym of nerdy. She took on main leads in role-plays in schools, was voted a model student every year without fail and was endearing to boys judging by the numerous guys who tried to get into her good books since elementary school. Nothing would change the circumstances this time round too.
Aware that Clarissa regularly talks to Xavier, Joanna then exerted peer pressure on her by questioning their relationship. Never the girl who believes that love will embrace her, Clarissa gave in to Joanna’s request to try to bring together the two of them. It did not take long for Xavier to be attracted to Joanna’s bubbly and candid personality after a few chatting sessions with her. However, Xavier had not neglected Clarissa in the process. He still constantly drowned Clarissa with his sorrows but the incidences of his happiness being discussed over the Internet was moving north definitely and they all revolved around Joanna.
The day that sent Clarissa’s fate turning hundred and eighty degrees finally descended when Xavier asked her if it was the right move for him to get together with Joanna. Despite having prepared herself for this day, Clarissa found her tears falling uncontrollably as she stared into the red letter words being typed out by Xavier on the other end of the conversation. Whether Xavier will ever find out about her feelings for him was deemed no longer important anymore. Clarissa was determined to bite the bullet and move on with life. Indeed, this was also the very last conversation she had with Xavier.
Now, sixteen years down the road since that final exchange, Xavier and Joanna are still blissfully in love with each other. However, Clarissa was no longer the inferior and nerdy girl she used to be. She took steps to improve on her appearance, voice out her opinions whenever necessary to establish her presence and diligently climbed up the corporate ladder. Nonetheless, she found her heart and emotions in exile and it was her dreams and ambitions that kept her soul and body intact until she went to Mali.
Her love for Xavier was entailed in the form of seeing him basking in happiness and bliss even though it meant him holding another girl’s hands. It may sound out-of-date and obsolete to many others out there who advocate the freedom of pursuing true love yet Clarissa chose to uphold that belief.
Love, in the form of relationships, eluded Clarissa but God bestowed upon her the power of being extraordinary. Clarissa, single and still available, now works for the United Nations as an ambassador to Timbuktu in Mali. If Timbuktu meant "Nowhere", then this faraway land definitely helped liberated the exiled heart and emotions of Clarissa. It was right there in Timbuktu where the underprivileged and ill-fated children who struggled with meeting their daily supplements embraced her with their innocence and exemplify love in another form. In exchange, Clarissa learnt to love these poverty-stricken children unconditionally too.
Love is a blessing that transcends across boundaries, sex, nationalities and race be it you deciding to let go or embrace it.
[Author: Anonymous]
I wonder if it's a true story but at least it did touch my heart to read such a story, perhaps because I wanna go to Timbuktu myself!
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