Master IP is my Master.

Despite all the criticisms and despise that we have for the "Tiongs" in our nation, the history, culture, and teachings of the Chinese are here with us, in our blood.

"Although people differ in their status in life, there is no differentials in their dignity or integrity, meaning there is no one race or nationality that is superior in his or her integrity or dignity."

“人的身份虽有贵贱之分，但人的尊严却是同等的”

"In elegance lies peace, for peace we battle."

“贵中之和，不争之争”

As a Master whom his disciples look upon to, he genuinely cares for their well-being. Nevertheless, he is always so capable of staying calm and keeping his cool when faced with difficulties.

I guess he's the person I should look up to. That in the pursuit of helping my students attain excellence in life, I am bound to meet up with unhappiness and so do them. The mannerism and the way I carry myself in front of others will dictate the values and beliefs that get passed on to them. :)) I must learn to keep my cool as always!

To have my temperament moulded into the way Master IP behaves should be one of the learning objectives for me at the end of my teaching career. :))

Sorry but you don't belong here.

This feeling constantly bugs me. That I am simply a girl who is born in the wrong country. Seng told me the same thing 3 weeks back and I was taken aback when he told me that. Now, I am CERTAIN that he is ABSOLUTELY right!

The reasons behind the bug could be attributed to the environment that I am in, the people whom I interact with, the values that I uphold or the belief that is firmly rooted in me, etc.

I like to stand up against unjust, like to fight for my own rights, believe in being truthful to myself and to others, respect privacy and expect others to respect my privacy as well, love freedom, believe in human rights not hierarchies, hate to compete with others, love doing things at my own pace, blah blah blah...

Yet when I look around at the people in my social circle everyday,

they lie whether for the good or for the bad,

intrude other people's privacy,

overtly coward towards standing out and up for themselves,

rather take it lying than to oppose,

willingly be succumb to authority, ranks, and hierarchies,

comply than to question,

compete just because they are afraid of losing to some others,

critical and stingy with praises,

scold and reject without providing alternatives or guidance,

Just what is wrong with this world and the system that is meant to teach us all to become all-rounded individuals?

The past one week I've been so swarmed with the project work drafts. I volunteer to help those students not because I think that they are stupid and immature to come up with any brilliant ideas. Rather, I simply just can't sit and watch them suffer and endure the constant rejection and scoldings from someone who doesn't provide them with alternatives! So much so for getting the students to work on alternatives when the educator herself is incapable of doing so.

In all 23 years of my life, I have always been a critical person. And I think this critical side of me is attributed to my idiosyncratic desire to want things in life to be perfect, or at least near to perfect. However, with age comes wisdom and I slowly learn to appreciate that imperfections can beautify your life. That was when I started to appreciate the little things in my life that are imperfect in my opinion but perfect to some others. I should be less critical and more generous with praises because we all need constant motivation and assurances to excel in life.

So last night, I finally couldn't take it and voiced out my opinions. I reckon that if someone does not know how to respect others, then he or she doesn't deserve even the basic respect that comes with her role or status. In terms of IP, I have yet to witness how brilliant or solid her content knowledge is. Where building rapport with students is concerned, she is a complete failure. Evaluating her professionalism and code of conduct, the person who grades her really needs to refresh her memory of what the two entail.

After entering university and having worked in the corporate world for so long, I thought I have learnt how to keep my emotions in check. God knows I was totally wrong. I am still the me who loves to voice out and speak up when I feel things ought to be better managed. The weirdest thing is they are still issues that do not concern me i.e. I am not standing up for myself but for those who are naturally less strong and more dependent on others. WTH is wrong with myself? I just cannot tolerate such nonsense and watch the people whom I care for being subjected to such mental tortures and sufferance!

But of course, I have always reiterated that I only help those who show me that they wish to help themselves. Students who come running towards me at the very last minute, hugging the buddha leg and request for help. Hello! I am a human being, not BUDDHA! Plus, generating ideas is not an easy task to begin with. There are a handful who directly or indirectly request for my help to think of strategies! Hello! It's your work, not mine! If you are lazy, then you should live with your own laziness and poor grades and be contented with it. If I tell you it wouldn't work, then go back and squeeze all your brain juice dry and think! Ask your grandparents, parents, siblings, relatives, or whoever is available for opinions. Don't come back to me with the same piece of work and expect me to give you comments. What comments do you exactly want?!

Honestly, I need to reflect on how I can better manage my own emotions when dealing with other people's problems or towards people whom I dislike deep down from the bottom of my heart.! Lol!

Like plants that require a particular type of soil to bud, animals who need the right habitat to survive i.e. freshwater, seawater, I need the right environment to thrive. And this environment and culture is definitely not the right one. It impedes my development and growth. :(

Do you know what's worth fighting for

When it's not worth dying for..

For what's worth trying for is worth fighting for....

No World Cup and No South Africa for me.... :((

I guess adequate time has passed for me to evaluate my job and the true reasons behind where I'm now.

"attire checked", "attendance checked", "lecture notes checked", "tutorials checked", "markers checked", blah blah.. Endless checks to be done every single passing day....

Pulling myself out of bed in every reluctant manner possible every morning, conducting the checks which I as a student failed to live up to expectations with, I honestly question, why did I sign up for this?

I flipped anxiously over pages of my primary and secondary memories searching for that one special person who steered me in this direction only to my disappointment to see none.

From another perspective, 5 years ago this one person unleashed my potential and inspired me to complete whateve he has left undone, though I'm not sure if I'll be as outstanding as he did.

Over the course of the last 5 years, another 3 popped up and helped complete me as a person.

And the true reasons behind me embarking on this mission is my desire to continue with what that was set out to be done and entrusted to me. The mission is to complete the puzzle of the countless others that I'll be encountering, to be there to provide guidance when they are in a deadlock, to be there to encourage and motivate when they are about to uphoist the white flag. However, it's not in my capacity to blindly lead the way. Only effort can generate rewards and all results are fed by the amalgamation of a positive attitude in learning, desire to excel and be empowered by knowledge.

Right from day one, I told myself that I will never compromise my students' learning over anything nor short change on the knowledge that they are entitled to. Thus, even though a handful are difficult to discipline, a few prefers to live in isolation, the general population that is bubbly and engaging motivates me.

Through my job, I uncover the values that are deep rooted in me. A 50-mark grade is not a pass, A C is. A's are norms whereas C's anomalies. When I teach, I hold the same kind of expectations for my students. I do not think that achieving a C or a pass is good enough which explains why I am always so disappointed with my students' results ever since those times when I was giving tuition. I am not dissatisfied with them because I do know a handful had really put in their utmost best. In fact, I question my own ability to teach them well. Over the years, I did learn to align my expectations because not everyone is capable of the A like what Linky always tell me. He highlighted the top most important attribute as an educator that is, to be able to detach yourself from the learning outcomes of your students. Some people are exam-smart, others work doubly hard, whereas a handful are simply intelligent. You need to have certain attributes to begin with before you can be transformed from a C-grader to an A-grader.

It will definitely be encouraging if Linky and I were posted to the same school in future. I guess at least we can constantly motivate each other and we complement each other. Nonetheless, judging from the current circumstances, the probability is HIGHLY UNLIKELY. Well, let fate decide. :))

Unfortunate.

History was rewritten today. Yes, today has to be the unluckiest day in my memory. I woke up to my biggest horror only to realise that my left eye lenses were missing in the contact lens holder! In an attempt to search for it since it has only been missing for less than 12 hours (and I suppose no police will entertain missing cases that have not passed the 48-hour mark), I stumble and fumble upon my own clothes. :( Crap!

Anyway, due to time constraint, I still didn't manage to find it and I doubt I will ever be able to find it unless it decide to reappear miraculously! So I hurriedly bumped off to school. It was pure coincidence that my brother left home at the same time as I do so I actually didn't have to use my own keys to unlock and subsequently lock the door. While I was at my own cubicle in school trying to locate my tiny bunch of keys amidst my colossal tennis bag, all I found was nothing but clothing, shoe bag, tennis racquets, wallets, and the usual stuff less the keys.

The only blessing was that it was raining and I didn't have to rush down for morning assembly. Without the keys, I I would be denied access to my own cabinet! To think I thought it was a brilliant idea to hook my cabinet keys to my own bunch of house keys so that I will never forget about them.

In the most frantic fashion possible, I dial my sister's no. and got her to wake up to search for my keys. For your information, I had already harassed her and roped her in during the "search for the contact lens" movement earlier on. So twice, she was disturbed from her sleep to help me. LOL!

Luckily, the keys were right on the table else I can't imagine how pathetic my day would have been.......

Be Thankful...

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

Self? Or shell?

These days, I get asked a lot of intellectual questions and I'm loving it I think! :))

I realise that I really dislike people who act in disguise of someone else or pretend to be knowledgeable about something when they don't.

In particular, I especially have a distaste for girls who pretend they know football when all they know is David beckham or Cristiano Ronaldo, ManU, Chelsea or Liverpool. To make things worst, they will squeeze all their brain juice dry when they try to create topics out of their self perceived 'i think I know football' knowledge!

What that irks me the most is they attempt to get the best seat available when a big match is on then act as though they really care about the outcome of the match! I've experienced this far too often that I am starting to get perturbed by the behaviour of such beings!

It's not my stereotype that girls know nothing about football because I do know a few girls who really UNDERSTAND football. Rather, when compared to girls, boys who don't know football will not try too hard to please. They'll simply walk away or shut off when the whole debate about football is put up for discussion. At least, that is less irritating than when someone pretends to know...

If you are really interested to know about football, then at least do your homework and find out more before you start blabbering your nonsensical 'itikf' topics...!

Kel and I were hosting our friend from Japan last week and we went to East Coast for seafood. At the restaurant, we met some japanese girls and I'm really impressed by the fact that they can speak in such a demure tone at all times everywhere! I think that's non-pretentious! However, in sg at times, when I see sg girls trying to imitate it, speaking in this 'oh I'm so excited and amused' tone, and I know some of these girls so well that they definitely do not speak in such a manner at 'normal' times, I honestly feel like giving them a tight slap! Why can't you just be yourself?

I know guys actually love being indulged In conversations with girls who speak in this manner which helps to rationalize why some girls behave in this manner. They are just trying to get all the attention possible.

I may get lesser attention when I don't follow the norm. I may be disadvantaged when it comes to receiving assistance from guys and have to do more at certain times but i'm even more glad I'm in no way a girl like above../:))

没那么简单

没那么简单
就能找到聊得来的伴
尤其是在看过了那么多的背叛
总是不安只好强悍
谁谋杀了我的浪漫
没那么简单
就能去爱别的全不看
变得实际也许好也许坏各一半
不爱孤单一久也习惯 不用担心谁也不用被谁管

感觉快乐就忙东忙西
感觉累了就放空自己
别人说的话随便听一听
自己作决定 不想拥有太多情绪 一杯红酒配电影
在周末晚上关上了手机
舒服窝在沙发里

爱没有那么容易
每个人有他的脾气
过了爱作梦的年纪
轰轰烈烈不如平静

幸福没有那么容易

才会特别让人着迷
什么都不懂的年纪
曾经最掏心
所以最开心曾经

想念最伤心
但却最动心的记忆

一旦不再年轻，事情也变得好复杂，不是吗？