The reasons behind the bug could be attributed to the environment that I am in, the people whom I interact with, the values that I uphold or the belief that is firmly rooted in me, etc.
I like to stand up against unjust, like to fight for my own rights, believe in being truthful to myself and to others, respect privacy and expect others to respect my privacy as well, love freedom, believe in human rights not hierarchies, hate to compete with others, love doing things at my own pace, blah blah blah...
Yet when I look around at the people in my social circle everyday,
they lie whether for the good or for the bad,
intrude other people's privacy,
overtly coward towards standing out and up for themselves,
rather take it lying than to oppose,
willingly be succumb to authority, ranks, and hierarchies,
comply than to question,
compete just because they are afraid of losing to some others,
critical and stingy with praises,
scold and reject without providing alternatives or guidance,
Just what is wrong with this world and the system that is meant to teach us all to become all-rounded individuals?
The past one week I've been so swarmed with the project work drafts. I volunteer to help those students not because I think that they are stupid and immature to come up with any brilliant ideas. Rather, I simply just can't sit and watch them suffer and endure the constant rejection and scoldings from someone who doesn't provide them with alternatives! So much so for getting the students to work on alternatives when the educator herself is incapable of doing so.
In all 23 years of my life, I have always been a critical person. And I think this critical side of me is attributed to my idiosyncratic desire to want things in life to be perfect, or at least near to perfect. However, with age comes wisdom and I slowly learn to appreciate that imperfections can beautify your life. That was when I started to appreciate the little things in my life that are imperfect in my opinion but perfect to some others. I should be less critical and more generous with praises because we all need constant motivation and assurances to excel in life.
So last night, I finally couldn't take it and voiced out my opinions. I reckon that if someone does not know how to respect others, then he or she doesn't deserve even the basic respect that comes with her role or status. In terms of IP, I have yet to witness how brilliant or solid her content knowledge is. Where building rapport with students is concerned, she is a complete failure. Evaluating her professionalism and code of conduct, the person who grades her really needs to refresh her memory of what the two entail.
After entering university and having worked in the corporate world for so long, I thought I have learnt how to keep my emotions in check. God knows I was totally wrong. I am still the me who loves to voice out and speak up when I feel things ought to be better managed. The weirdest thing is they are still issues that do not concern me i.e. I am not standing up for myself but for those who are naturally less strong and more dependent on others. WTH is wrong with myself? I just cannot tolerate such nonsense and watch the people whom I care for being subjected to such mental tortures and sufferance!
But of course, I have always reiterated that I only help those who show me that they wish to help themselves. Students who come running towards me at the very last minute, hugging the buddha leg and request for help. Hello! I am a human being, not BUDDHA! Plus, generating ideas is not an easy task to begin with. There are a handful who directly or indirectly request for my help to think of strategies! Hello! It's your work, not mine! If you are lazy, then you should live with your own laziness and poor grades and be contented with it. If I tell you it wouldn't work, then go back and squeeze all your brain juice dry and think! Ask your grandparents, parents, siblings, relatives, or whoever is available for opinions. Don't come back to me with the same piece of work and expect me to give you comments. What comments do you exactly want?!
Honestly, I need to reflect on how I can better manage my own emotions when dealing with other people's problems or towards people whom I dislike deep down from the bottom of my heart.! Lol!
Like plants that require a particular type of soil to bud, animals who need the right habitat to survive i.e. freshwater, seawater, I need the right environment to thrive. And this environment and culture is definitely not the right one. It impedes my development and growth. :(
Do you know what's worth fighting forWhen it's not worth dying for..For what's worth trying for is worth fighting for....
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