I have always enjoyed playing sports and when I was younger, I used to participate in school Sports Meet, etc. However, as I was growing up, I realise that fun and competitive are two things that never come hand in hand. If I were to participate in a sports competitively, it would mean that a win or loss would matter a lot and having to ride through the roller coaster of my own emotions was something that I tried to escape since young after participating in Netball competitions in Primary school.
In addition to that, I was also very ill-disciplined when it comes to training. When I was in Secondary 2, I joined the school netball team but I often cave in to tiredness during training. For one, I hate doing drills because I do not see how it can make me better as a netball player. Before I know it, the netball teacher-in-charge went on maternity and the netball team was officially declared expired. God gave me a second chance and I was invited to join the badminton team instead. However, I declined because I already had a CCA and I wanted to focus more on my studies. Nevertheless, the most important push factor was me being unwilling to endure the arduous training when the coach mentioned about having to do push-ups and sit-ups every training.
When I entered the Polytechnic, I was determined to fulfill what I had always dream of but never had the chance to accomplish. I joined Ngee Ann's Netball team but I was unable to get into the competitive team in my first year due to a lack of vacancy for the position that I played in. I clearly was not good enough because I had the foundation (poor basic skills) and also match experience. Knowing that I was not in the competitive team, I slowly drifted into the backdrop of Ngee Ann's Netball team and eventually dropped out of the CCA.
Upon entering university, even though I knew there were Inter-faculty games, I never stepped forward to volunteer my services. I did not have much friends when I first enter university and the lack of companionship was a push factor for me. Subsequently, even though I had a larger circle of friends, they were not people who were active in sports. So, I graduated without accomplishing anything that I had set out to do from Day 1.
Now as I hang around kids who participate in competitive sports and watch them during games, I really envy them and would like to undergo the experience myself. I registered to represent MOE in an Inter-Ministry Netball game with my colleagues but 2 weeks before the game, I injured my knee and was forced to withdraw. Perhaps, I am just not destined to accomplish this. That kind of bonding that you can have with your teammates, to go through thick and thin, to encourage each other on the court and also chide each other when expectations are not met, it is something that definitely will stay with one for life.
If I were given a time machine to time travel, I would really love to go back to my younger days and stick to one sport and train really hard and represent my school in it. Never mind the outcome of the game, it is the process that matters after all, isn't it?
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