Impeding Issue-Low Marriage Rates cum Low Birth Rates!
On the TV, I witnessed the joy, happiness and warmth elicited by two beings who are insanely in love with each other. Perhaps their status play a role in the extent that they treasure their relationship. They have to be secretive about their relationship until they took their relationship several steps beyond that of a dating couple. The scenes from shooting their wedding photos till the actual wedding ceremony which took place in Guam Island further instilled in me the true meaning of happiness. It seems I figured my answer to the question of low marriage rates and birth rates.
In the past, marriage was an obligation. You marry someone out of status and of your parent's will. There was no defined boundaries for love or marriage. It was a "the female sticks to her spouse, through thick and thin" society. Women had no status, no rights, no freedom, no voice. Today, it's completely different. We are all educated. We constantly seek out our idealist ideology - TRUE LOVE coupled with WEALTH and AFFLUENCE. Yet, as an economics student, I can't help but dwell on the concept of scarcity which eventually leads to trade-offs and opportunity costs. Because of education, women are more informed of the society and no longer carry the burden of being subservient. Yes, with increasing number of working females, we drive the economic growth yet it comes at the expense of lower marriage rates.
Nevertheless, I can't help but question: What can be done to rectify this issue? Why do we always have to work and correct on the problem coming from the female aspect? What can be done about the males in Singapore?
True enough, I have heard tons of stories about guys complaining and whining about NS, about the government wasting 2 years of their time, about their female peers being 2 years ahead of them of everything etc. When as a female, you try to give your opinion, they shove you off by telling you that you don't understand them because you have never been through it personally. Just so because of the government hearing and empathizing with their situation, we tune women's lifestyle. We suggest that the women compromise and accommodate their male counterparts.
Over time, women's interest in this grumpy, constantly-whining Singaporean group of guys of age 20 or so yet behave like 70-year old war veterans dwindles and labels like pragmatic, over-realistic, idealist and materialistic Singaporean girls set in. Oh come on, I am not a feminist but having hearing so many guys out there speaking about globalisation, changing expectations and society yet all is nothing but a pack of lies of their so called Y-generation mindset. Underneath, they still think this is a world where men are superior and women has to bend down to norms and expectations, and I honestly feel this is a disguise of their true chavaunistic and egoistic self.
So would you consider marriage? Why land your fates on someone who employs his complaining tactics more frequently than taking actions?
Back to that TV scene. When the bride was led down the hallway of the church by her Dad towards the bridegroom, that was the scene that struck me real hard. Tears were welling up in the bridegroom's eyes as he picture his future with this woman, blissfully loved by him and how much he can offer to her. Thoughts swirled the girl as well. Is this man standing 10metres away from me the ONE who is going to take over my dad's role as the protective figure and shower me with unconditonal girl and love our family like there's no tomorrow? Will this be the man that I'd stick to through thick and thin and pledge my heart and soul? To me, it seems like at that very moment, I finally figured out what beholds true love. It doesn't matter if one day their feelings for each other diminishes or fades off, at least this moment will be etched in their memory about how much and how deep is their love.
Coming to reality. Not everyone meets their the other half that was meant to be. Some people end up marrying the wrong person which explains the record-breaking divorce rates today. Some people resign to not owning that brief moment of happiness that's why they remain single. Yet there are a few of the players out there who choose to absorb all these images as ABSTRACTS so they never really got serious about their relationships. What about You, YOu and yoU out there? Which category do you belong to then? Why not ask yourself about how serious you are about your other half that is by your side, by your bed right now? Imagine the day that you have to stand inside the church taking on the role of either the bridegroom or the bride, question yourself.
As the bridegroom, I am pretty certain that no matter how unemotional you are, if you marrying the woman that you want to give your best and protect your whole life, you cry. Not explicitly as in tears have to flush down your cheeks but either tears well up in your eyes or your heart feels the pinch because never have you been so sure of yourself.
As the bride, do those thoughts mentioned in the TV scene embrace you? Of allegiance, pledges, trust and absolute commitment? If you are still trying hard to convince yourself at that very moment, perhaps calling off the wedding would be a better way out.
One of the options to tackle our impeding public issue- more quality not quantity of marriages. I strongly believe in the high correlation between quality marriages and birth rates. I love the work of public administration. Challenging yet fulfilling.
"Satisfying your own qualitative ambitions is more of a hindrance than accomplishing merely monetary wants yet it yields more lasting effects that you can look back and flash out your customized grin."
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