How fast the days pass by...

I think it's incredible how quickly the days the pass by these days..

The ICal application is on the very first page of my iPhone.. Everyday the number increases by 1.. I vividly remember that the last time I stared at the number, it was 5. Today, it's already the 30th March!!!

It seems like days are passing by too quickly and I have so many things that I wanna do. I just get busier by day!! The only consolation that I take home at the end of the day is PayDay is nearing too!!!!

Agh!!! Can time pls slow down? There's so much in life that I appreciate and is learning how to appreciate... I wanna capture every beautiful moment in my life.. And it's God-sent that I always have endless perfect moments in life.... ;))

Stop in the name of love

That's the charity campaign organized by one of Channelnewsasia's flagship programme, Blogtv.sg!

So TheFD n his co-host came to JJ on Tuesday to accumulate the calls.

When I got the call from one of my class's students, I wad really touched! Over the past two weeks, i've witness how influential my job can be.

Thank you messages from students, calls, etc. made me realise how strong a sense of satisfaction my job can deliver. Nevertheless, there were times when you really feel like you are at rock bottom!

But all it takes is just a word of encouragement or thanks of see a slight improvement or attitude in one student to make your day. :))

Glory Glory Man United!

The ManU victory over our arch-rivals Liverpool last night certainly made my Sunday night a memorable one. 2 months ago, the same kind of euphoria filled me when Arsenal was thumped by ManU and Federer completed his 15th grand slam title on the same day.

The past 3 occasions had seen us ending up in double blows of a defeat and the sent-off of Nemanja Vidic. :( This time round, I can finally hold my head high up in front of my fellow Liver (Loser)pool friends!! Not only was the victory a sweet revenge, Chelsea-Blackburn's draw definitely added icing to the already decorated cake. :))

Since time immemorial, I had become such a huge soccer fan! I guess your childhood addictions and hobbies do follow you through life. My unspoken and eccentric passion for soccer was deep rooted in my childhood. My brother would buy packets of sticker cards from the Mama-store near my Granny's place and then we will meticulously cut out the faces and photos of the soccer players. After which, we will glue it onto those rectangular shaped erasers with countries' flags printed on it. Constructing a full soccer team was always a tough nut to crack. More often than not, the stickers were repetitive and those big stars from ManU, Arsenal, Liverpool, Blackburn (they were hot favourites back then), etc. were always difficult to get.

Giggsy is my Bro's favourite player and Becksy is mine. :)) After having their faces stuck on those erasers, we will then play football on the ground using those stickers or play rubber-wrestling with it. How stupid can we be! That was my very first encounter with soccer.

As I age, I drifted away from soccer since it was such a boyish thing but somehow the passion was re-ignited after the 2002 World Cup. Perhaps the proximity and timing of the matches played a vital role. And after the Europa experience, soccer passion runs in my blood and soul.!

Some people will perceive us as a bunch of idiots who spent tons of money purchasing the merchandise and idle away time to follow up with the latest news and stories, be ready for every weekend's action, blah blah blah. But until you actually sit down and really read into the game, you will never discover the true beauty of the game. Of course, the hunks in the games are bonuses to girls like me. :))

I can't always convince or relate to others about how soccer has become an integral part of my life, all I know is I feel for the game. When the team I support wins, it feels like I've been flown to the moon. When the team loses, I would really wanna just dig myself into my pillow and sleep. But of course, I do not get too emotional otherwise it will kill the passion for the game.

Soccer RAWKS!

how deep is your trust?

The one-week March Holidays has sent me bumping around the city, indulging myself in sumptuous meals almost every other day. But it's a shame that I didn't drink as much as I imagined myself would. Lol!

Concurrently, I have been clearing the huge backlog of Taiwanese Dramas. Watching dramas really brings out the many different perspectives of how life can be. After every drama, it makes me reflect on my life thus far and I question myself over the issue of repeated betrayals.

Will you ever trust someone who once compromise your trust?

If you do, how deep will your trust be?

If you don't, why didn't you give that someone a second chance?

More often than not, we hear others preaching about how everyone deserves a second chance after they have erred. It reflects upon your graciousness, that's for sure. But what would ensue that a second betrayal is not on its way? And, how many times of such a betrayal would you be able to tolerate?

For me, I guess my tolerance for betrayal is as low as no one can imagine. I hate lies, both transient or perpetual, genuine or white ones. But at the same time, I know that people do lie for the good-sake of another occasionally or when they refuse to open their hearts to certain people. If you betray, you lose my trust. However, I will forgive if the lie was told out of goodwill. Nonetheless, I will never trust you as much as I used to.

It is not about how forgiving a person I can be or cannot be, rather it is about your attitude and values that scares me. Especially if you can perpetually hide your true self and convince others to perceive you in a different light. I guess I will never believe you again!

Some people kick a big fuss over little things, refuse to compromise, reluctant to give and take. Does it make you feel better to harp on certain things repeatedly? Honestly, I don't comprehend at times. There are certain things in life which, if you are willing to take a step backwards, you will feel much happier about it. Yet there are certain things in life which, if you hold on to it steadfast, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. No one can make a smart guess as to the former or latter will result, the probability is 50-50 and we all need to take our gamble. :))

Like Ren Guang Xi, if he chooses to believe again, he gains back his loved one and family but he loses his ego momentarily. If he insists on distrust and betrayal, he gains his ego and the right to shift the blame of his own misfortune to someone else but he will lose his capacity to love someone wholeheartedly. At the end of the day, it all depends on what he values most in life, and not just simply by weighing the costs and benefits of the choices.

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Bumpy and Excited

The long-awaited one week March Holidays is drawing near!!! Yay!!!

After being out of a government school for so long, it feels damn weird to be back in one. The morning assemblies that I have to attend, the numerous rules and regulations that I have to adhere to and also make my students obey, the discipline that I have to instil in myself and also in my students. Honestly, I still prefer freestyle so I guess in my class, the students do it freestyle too. :))

Now that I am back in school, I reflect upon myself as a student 10 years back. I have to admit that I was a rebellious student myself, often found it trying to obey simple rules like cutting your fingernails, not wearing ankle socks to school, not falling asleep during classes, rebutting my teachers, finding loopholes in the school rules, arguing my way out of trouble, etc. Nonetheless, at the end of the day, I produce the results. :)

Looking at my students these days, I find it hard and redundant to constantly remind them of having self-discipline. It is not as though I do not put myself in their shoes but some of them are simply ridiculous. When I observe some of my fellow colleagues, I can understand why the students behave in a particular manner. Cause they have the wrong role model to follow.

As those reflections ran through my mind, I think a lot about the many life events that I have encountered. Maybe Europe gave me a different perspective, maybe the people whom I hang around with changed my outlook, maybe wisdom grows with age is indeed true. There are numerous reasons for change that I simply can't attribute to just one.

For e.g. I no longer find the need to be engaged in useless debates and arguments, I find that I really love peace more than I can imagine, I rather keep quiet than say something meaningless, I have fewer acquaintances but several more quality friends, I can self-motivate in down times, I step out of the circle of politics, I whine but only to the people who listen willingly, I have learnt that I can't force my will on others not even try to convince them so I never bother, I step aside when a topic doesn't interest me rather than try to be the smart aleck and pretend to know, I see everyone in good light before I use my own judgment to evaluate them but not judge, I adapt but I no longer conform to norms - If I like it, I will do it but I will never allow myself to feel compelled to do things anymore,

and all these qualities that budded bring happiness and joy to my seemingly boring life. Hopefully I guess. :))

Can the grands be allowed to grow?

Everytime the little grands in my bank account start to grow, my disobedient hands start to click on some exotic places to travel to. It happens over and over again. I seriously wonder when will this stop so that my little grands can grow into big ones?

Don't act like you know.

I have been leaving this space of mine pretty empty for 2 weeks.

I made certain decisions early in my life and honestly, I am starting to doubt my decisions. Perhaps everything would have been much smoother with the absence or presence of some around me. I get questioned over the minute little things that is in no way correlated to my existence and the way I behave.

I start to doubt myself, my decisions, and my morale is now at rock bottom. All thanks to one person whom thinks so highly of himself and try to steer others in certain particular directions.

I really wish all of these can come to an end quickly. I just wanna be away from all these nonsense.

Till the day that my tolerance has completely ran out, it will be d-day.

Don't make me retaliate, I will be ruthless I assure you.

for HE always KNOWS

for HE always KNOWS since he was the one who planned it all.....

Brian & Kel are friends whom I got to know through Kim around 6 months ago but I am glad that we click instantly. For Brian, we are both hard-core ManU fanatics so not much more is needed to be said as to why we connect. For Kel, it was definitely the Japan trip that fostered the bond for the many joy and laughter that followed.

We had a small CNY gathering at Brian's house just hours ago, together with another friend of the two boys. The thing I like about us youths is you are always open to getting to know new friends. Though Kim & I do not know Brian & Kel's friend, we just mingle and had "totz" lots of fun. It was Wii followed by Monopoly in the card fashion. :)) Simply awesome.!

Through the gathering, I found out more about myself and also the rest. Basically, Kim excels in the Wii games that requires a lot of coordination and also practice. Kel & me suck at Wii games but we excel at gambling and card games per se. It just suddenly struck to me that the devil lives in me once again. That I really pick up anything related to gambling, cards, etc. in split seconds. Like I learn how to play 13-Ki, Texas Holdem Poker, etc after someone went through it once with me. Another good example would be me watching the tv aboard the cruise trip 4 years ago together with Jan, Omma, Lionel, & I and learning Bacarat from the tv. Also, I was totally unaware of the rules of the "Banker-Player" game but all it took was for me to observe people in the casino in Genting once and subsequently in Australia and I kinda mastered all.

Moving on to the topic of friends. There are certain things in life that do not require deliberate attempts to make it better. And I believe it is especially so for friends. Some people try very hard to win friends over or make friends with certain people. They give in, compromise, accommodate, and please others as much as they can, stretching their own mental tolerance. Eventually, they end up with nothing but just dissatisfaction with themselves and the others. Over the years, I have learnt that sometimes tries can be unfruitful. So I stopped doing that ever since the day I stepped into the Polytechnic.

If that someone is meant to be your friend, good friend, best friend, etc. he or she will be and always will be. Just like how I can be acquainted with Omma, Jan, & JY and eventually becoming buddies. And for all the stupid things that we have done to be acquainted with XMM, Toshio, etc. were simply fruitless. In NUS, I couldn't motivate myself to make new friends and all the friends that I have made came to me naturally. They are all people who walked into my life unexpectedly.

WaiTeng, a casual neighbour in my hall who eventually became my tennis buddy, lunch buddy, and a possible future travel companion.

Pauline, an acquaintance in a Math module, who eventually became my Econs buddy and confidante.

Monica, my exchange room-mate, who eventually became my regular lecture buddy and encourage me all the time while I was doing my thesis.

Kim, exchange mate, who is one of the few whom I can share about everything in my life and my NIE-buddy to be.

Kel & Brian, who are random project group mates but are future colleagues and soccer buddy respectively.

And for all these friendships, I did nothing to earn them. It was God's gift to me. :))

People like Shawn & Linken whom I have only known for 3 weeks while in Yuhua Secondary, people unaware of how we met would totally have the impression that we have been best friends since our previous lives. We feel comfortable introducing our own friends and family members to each other. Seriously, how many of your friends do you actually introduce to your family members?

When I look back, I think of the many others (I will not name names here) whom I fought so hard to maintain the friendship but failed. I really question myself, "Why did I bother to try in the first place?"

Tonight was such an awesome gathering and I cannot find any reason to not blog about it. :))