Only You

Recently, I am addicted to this Hong Kong drama - Only You. I know I am a little outdated considering that the drama was aired some time late last year. The drama portrayed the various beliefs people have of love and the various interpretations of what marriage entails.

I guess different people have different beliefs and values in life and we seek for a different mission and purpose in life too. While some hope to settle down and start a family, others seek the thrill and adventures that lie in our great Mother Earth. I used to believe that some day, I will settle down and start a family. However, with the passage of time, I realize that I have truly come to discover what I really want in life.

Mommy and B always hope that I will some day settle down. But neither of them ever hurries me. B feels that I will act on a moment of impulse when it comes to marriage. That is why I say no one understands me more than they do. :) Perhaps.

I have similar beliefs to the male lead in the show. Maybe he is right. When the right person comes knocking and you do not want to lose him or her, that is when you will be willing to compromise with your dreams. However, it is unlikely that you will give them all up. Since I am unwilling to give up any of my dreams, I have stopped looking out for the right person to complete myself.

Come to think of it, this is only fair. When I was slightly younger and eager to settle down, random people come knocking. Some were really good bf material and perhaps something did or could have worked out. Now that I am not eager to settle down since I am unwilling to give up any of my dreams, it shows that I am not ready for a relationship. Indeed, no one's been knocking for some time.

Perhaps some day, I will really meet someone who have the same ideals as me, to want to go around the world and lead a carefree life. And should that day come, I might then truly want to settle down.

Growing Up

There's this saying that goes, "wisdom comes with age."

It is true but only to a certain extent. When people age, they are more aware of the dangers and risks that one has to take in life. Some are risk-averse while others are risk-loving. But as a result of them being more informed and able to weigh the benefits and costs of doing every single thing (though not everyone is able to do so), they assume that they know it best. They are more resistant to change, more inclined towards forcing upon others their ideals, lifestyles, etc. That explains why people use the label "stubborn" on them occasionally.

I do not think that being stubborn is necessarily bad. At times, we need to stand firm on our feet and not get swayed by others' opinions easily, because in whatever that we do, there are bound to be praises and criticisms. People are born with differing opinions anyway. However, there needs to be some kind of balance.

If you always think that you are right or you only accept criticisms from a certain group of people, then we can simply leave the whole discussion to the so claimed "elite" group of yours. Why bother to hold a discussion and get the rest of the people whom you see as "outsiders" to comment. And honestly, I do not see how "elite" you guys are. Times have changed, so we need to move on. We should be more acceptive of what others think can be right especially when we are scrutinizing issues filled with ambiguity.

But as I am typing this post, I am trying to reflect on myself. Since young, I hate to be controlled by others or have them bossing me around with the "I Know It All" attitude or mentality. If someone truly earns my respect, I will follow him or her with my heart and soul. However, that does not mean that I do not question and be an ignorant follower. Respect, nevertheless, needs to be earned. It does not come with your status or age or whatsoever. As I age, I start to get worried that the intensity of my stubbornness will increase unless I meet someone who can truly question my ideals and perspectives. As a result of knowing what I want and who I am as a person, I start to question my ability to continue my --- as a ...

The only thing that is constant in this world is CHANGE

As I walked down memory lane moments ago, I realized that so many things have changed. It is extremely difficult to maintain a certain status quo between certain relationships in life. I count the places that we have been to, recall the words that were said, reminisce the activities that we engaged in, and indulge myself in the joy and laughter that embraced us for the past 3 years. Why did the number of places that we have been to stopped at a certain count? Why were the words left unspoken? Why do we still engage in the same activities, just that we do it with a different person? Why do we send each other joy and laughter no more?

At this juncture. my mind has come to terms that we have to move on and accept the cold hard truth that our paths have diverged.

Over the course of the events, I discovered that the distances grew not because others moved on but rather, I was the only one who has been stuck and refused to edge forward. That is why history repeats itself over and over again.

LEARN lessons from the PAST so that you can APPLY them in the PRESENT to SHAPE your FUTURE. Will I?

Live your own dreams

I have always been skeptical about getting others to help fulfill my dreams. To put it crudely, I am cynical about whatever that has been said about getting help from others. Always rely on yourself. After all, we need to live our own dreams. However, about a week ago, I started to have this illusion that others revolve around my life and they actually help to shape my dreams and fulfill my dreams. So I joined a contest to garner likes. My family members and friends went all out to help me. Some broadcasted the message on their whatsapp, some risked bursting their monthly SMS limit to forward the message to their friends, others approach friends on MSN, my sister and cousin spamming their friends on facebook to get them to like or repost the message to like the photo until they got a warning from facebook that they have been posting the same message too frequently. We were leading the contest since day 1 and only 1 person came very close to us.

I have to admit that we invested a lot of energy and time into this competition. Our daily routine involved checking the website for the latest updates of the amount of likes that we have accumulated. On the 2nd last day, our likes finally crossed the 1,000 mark and we thought that we have started a revolution. :) But God hit us hard the very morning on the last day of the contest. One underdog accumulated the same number of likes as us in 8 hours time (from 418 at 1 a.m. till 1k at 9 a.m.) and in another 2 hours' time, he overtook us with 2,000 likes. In another hour, he overtook us with 3,000 likes. By 6 p.m. in the evening, he crossed the 4,000 mark. We were all disappointed and dejected, that includes my entire camp of family and friends who had done so much over the past 4 days, constantly monitoring the counter, pushing for likes, etc.

Some said, "your dream was shattered."

Another said, "I am not expecting you to bring me there, but I really want you to be there."

Another commented, "Don't give up. I have not given up. Why should you?"

And many many more...

So reality knocked finally. :) When the clock struck 12 a.m. on 19th May 2011, I need to get over this contest and return to my life. I am like Cinderella who has to wake up from the most beautiful dream ever. I will have to report to NIE, attend my enrichment classes, prepare my e-portfolio for show-and-tell next Monday. Come Saturday, I will duly switch on my television and my MIO TV set-up box at home and watch the Champion Leagues' Final. Hopefully, Manchester United will successfully lift the cup!

Halfway through the contest, I was skeptical about one of the competitor's comment on a forum, "Do your part to fulfill my dreams." Why should others do their part to fulfill your dream? What do they gain from it, especially when they are strangers? Even though I understood that, it seemed like I was not able to apply it in my own situation? So I indirectly fabricated my own disappointment and downfall. If I had not been so optimistic about the possibility of winning and actively roped in my family members and friends to help, they would not have to experience the disappointment so do I.

On a concluding note, I have always been an independent girl. I never believe that I should rely on others to help me fulfill my life's dreams. But why was I so foolish this time round? I would not think that this contest has been an epic waste of time though. As a result of me actively getting my facebook friends to help me, I reconnected with some ex-students and old friends. I knew that I once touched someone's life and she remembered it till this very day. :) I know who are the people whom I can rely on should I run into problems in future. I know who are the ones who helped me unconditionally. And of course, my family members and I are more united than ever. Together we try, United we stand. :)

Anyway, people who fail are the ones who know it all. That's what bestie told me. :)

Some day, I will fulfill my dream of watching a live Champions League final whereby Manchester United is a finalist. :) I will LIVE my OWN dreams from now on.

the power of the social media

There has been so much HooHa about the power of the social media over the last few years. The overnight success of Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg's rise to fame, the power of twitter leading to the uprising in Egypt. Over the last 8 hours, I have witnessed the power of the social media too! I took part in this singtel contest for a pair of Wembley tickets to the UEFA Champions League Finals in Wembley! My family members and friends were extremely supportive. Overnight, I had 32 friends sharing the same link on their wall and asking their friends to like the photo for me too. Well, it is not an uphill task to click on the link and like a photo but is it worth their time especially when they do not get to share the prize. All they get is a word of thanks. But I am really heartened by them willing to help me out and broadcast the message to their other friends.

Thanks peeps! No amount of thanks can convey my gratitude. People who know me well will know what I value in life and the "thank you" that I said came out from the bottom of my heart.! :) Eventually, even if I did not win the football tickets, I realise that I have won something even more important in life. The love and care and concern of the people around me. :) Thanks a zillion, everyone who helped me to like the photo! I may not know you, may not have met you, may not have spoken a word to you, but the world is small. Some day if you see me along the streets, call out to me. I will be glad to be able to thank you personally. And our friendship blossoms from there! :)

Here's the link. http://miostadium.com/contests/crazyfanatics Row 5 3rd column!

I missed tennis 3 times in a row!

I hate the weather! Hate hate hate!!

I wanted to play tennis around 6.30 p.m. and the sky was clear and sunny all afternoon up till 5.30 p.m. So I made alternate plans to play tennis in the afternoon at 3.45 p.m. the next day. Great, the lightning risk is on at 3.30 p.m. Now it is really F the weather to the max! ARRRGGHHH!!!

What are words.....

It's a small small world

Readers of my blog would realise that I hardly blog about school. Yeah, indeed. I do not find leisure in discussing about my school life on my blog most of the time. However, there have been too many coincidences in school recently.

Two of my former students are in my class this year and I think I am really blessed to have them in my class. :) There are a million reasons behind why they stayed back for another year but I tell myself that I must believe in them, believe that they are motivated to learn and they will one day prove their worth to the many people out there that they are students worth spending time on, and worth giving them a second chance.

Of course there are other interesting characters around. There is a boy who is from South Africa in my class (but he is Asian)! When I first observed the class, I told myself to be prepared for the worst because his behaviour suggests to me that I am in for serious discipline. However, when I actually took over the class, he caught me by surprise. He told me he was from South Africa and he speaks with an American accent. Lol! He does not give me any problem at all because he takes pride in his work and he submits all his assignments on time. I guess having a good start and introduction to the class really matters. I caught him along the corridor and had a good chat with him the very day I took the lesson and got to know him better. He told me that he found himself to be pretty out of place in the school at times because no one's like him in the school. So I encouraged him to be himself and I really look forward to seeing him shine among his classmates. :) When I had lesson observation last week, he probably earned me credit. Initially, the class was pretty tense until he made a comment "Oh very well," and the class started laughing. I do not think that the comment had any meaningful connotation behind it but somehow the class was more relaxed after that comment.

And there's this other Indian-chinese in my class that perturbed me a lot initially. He is the typical "I-don't-give-a-damn-shit" about school kind of student and honestly, I was once like him. So I know that no amount of threats or punishment can actually motivate him to be more attentive in my class. All I need to do is to ensure that he does not disturb the rest during class. However, over the course of two weeks, I see a drastic change in his attitude. Initially, when he sees along the corridor, he will just walk past me as though I am invisible. Nowadays, he will call me "Cher" and I am really taken aback. :) He will chit-chat with me and sometimes we crack jokes along the way. As a teacher, I know how important it is that your student is willing to walk side by side with you. This shows that he respects you and that he is not ashamed to let people know that, "Yes, this is my teacher and I walk beside her because I think she is just as cool as me." I really do not know what changed him but I appreciate the fact that he has now become much more matured. He's like a little angel in my life these days because when I see him smiling and responding in class, I know that he is listening and he is learning. :)

I always believe that respect does not accompany your social status or designation. You have to EARN it! If you don't concur, do watch World Invasion: Battle Los Angeles. :)