I am a little late with keeping to my "One post every fortnight" resolution. There are a few topics that I would like to write about but some days, I just get lazy and those topics slip my mind soon after. Today, I shall write about a rather sacred topic - Marriage.
I believe I have written about this previously but having written over a 1,000 posts in the last 13 years, I find it difficult to locate my old post. I guess I have gone past the age of "marriage" compared to the last time I wrote about it but I doubt my mindset has changed. I have more questions than answers towards Marriage at least.
When people used to go for blind dates and arranged marriage, they stay together forever. These days, people have the freedom to pursue love yet they end up in a divorce. (1) Why is that so? That brings me to the million-dollar question - (2) what does Marriage mean to you? Some people marry for love, others do it for companionship, then you have those who do it out of responsibility, and a bunch who do it for the lineage and not forgetting those who see it as part of life's journey.
Whatever your reason for marriage, (3) what would be the real reason why you stay in that marriage? You are really happy in your marriage, you love your spouse, you stay together because of the kids though there is no love anymore, you are afraid of being judged if you were to divorce, you have no financial ability to live alone, you are afraid of loneliness, or you are trying to stay true to your vows.
Life is a long journey and assuming that you get married at between 25-30, you will actually spend half of your lifetime with your spouse. You have to tolerate each other's whims and fancies and shoulder the responsibility of a family together. Along the way, you get into fights and disagreements, learn to tolerate each other's quirks but out of marriage, you get someone to lean on when you are down and have someone to share your happiness with. You gain some and you lose some in a marriage and like tossing a coin, the odds that you will be happy is 50% and the odds that you will be unhappy is 50%. (4) Why then do some people not cherish what they have in a marriage and end up in a divorce? Some were subjected to abuse, some want out because they no longer feel any love towards each other to the extent that they actually hate each other, another might have found new love elsewhere. (5) Is it so hard to stay faithful to one person? (6) Why is it that the majority of the developed countries does not allow polygamy - one husband, many wives or one wife, many husbands? (7) What downsides would there be if this was a free-for-all society?
Every girl dreams about marriage at some point in their lives, (8) why is then there an increasing trend of women staying single nowadays? (9) Why are people getting married at an older age? (10) What is the reason why you are still single? (11) Why do we need to get married?
All these questions race through my mind all the time and even sometimes in my conversations with others. We live in such a different world today whereby we are constantly exposed to new technologies, new people, new lifestyles, a new environment. We get bored so easily when our lives become repetitive and hence we desire new challenges, fresh ideas and perspectives all the time. The bottom line is that we face temptations that make us overstep our supposed boundaries - an attractive man / woman comes along and we start to make comparisons between our current spouse and this "new" companion. The common dreams/ aspirations that a couple faces change over time. A couple bickers over the daily grind of life - the finances, the lifestyle, the poor living habits, the kids' education, the house, the car, the holidays, the meals, the grouses etc.
(12) Do you still believe in happiness and an everlasting marriage?
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