#5 Humility
Every single trip to Europe will only be completed by a football game at Old Trafford, the Theatre of Dreams. This visit is extremely memorable, not because of the back to back wins (at last, considering that the Man U lost on the first two occasions that I went) but of my personal experiences. I was very lucky to be able to see the stars that I have always admired, RVP and Juan Mata. :) Owing to differing time zones in Asia and Europe, I also accidentally booked the wrong air ticket back to Switzerland and ended up with an extra day in Manchester. I wanted to avoid the crowd so I went to the Megastore early and did the Stadium Tours. There happens to be an event for the first 70 supporters in line to take a photo with the players and since I was there early, I had the chance to do so! :)
My inspiration behind this post is none other than Juan Mata. :) I know he has a blog of his own and he updates it weekly or fortnightly. That made me wanted to revive this dying virtual space of mine, to have my thoughts written down and reflect many many years down the road. Through the few interactions with him, I find him a really humble person and that made me reflect on myself and the kind of person I want to be. This reflection that I did on the journey then made me realised that I can still do so much better in so many different aspects of life and I actually want to do that. Thanks for being such an inspiration, J. Mata!
Footballers are over-glorified these days because of the media - press or social ones and with huge advertisers pouring out billions to further market them. Many of them have become household names with superstars status or are simply global icons such as C.Ronaldo, W.Rooney, L.Messi, just to name a few. Week in week out, thousands of fans send them parcels or mails, ask for autographs, watch their every action closely, etc. so it is not surprising for some of them to become arrogant. However, Mata is not one of those people. He behaves like a commoner, taking we-fies with his supporters, smiles a lot, rallies people, his choice of words, expresses his own emotions - positive or negative ones. My takeaway from his humble behaviour is that we have a choice as to what kind of a person we want to be, regardless of our background (past), our social status or occupation (current), and from there shape who we will become in the (future).
As we age, we have more knowledge and life experiences and inevitably, we might think we know best. We try very hard to influence others to adopt our beliefs or give advices but most of the time, we have forgotten to keep an open mind and to listen to others. At least this is what I see in the majority of the elderly that I interacted with thus far. With great power comes great responsibility. With great responsibility comes ignorance though. We feel that we need to do many things in life right that we sometimes only believe in ourselves.
On reflection, I feel that humility is extremely important. You can become a very powerful person in your job or in your life because of your wealth, job title, social status, etc. But it is completely your choice as to how you want to treat others. If you constantly see life as journey and you have to be constantly learning along the way, you will be humble and listen to what others have to say. You will not have the "I Know It All or Best" mindset. After all, the day we shut our eyes and report to Heaven, no one will care about your wealth, your job title or social status. Not God nor the angels in Heaven.
Monday, 5 January 2015
Saturday, 3 January 2015
After thoughts of my epic 49 day adventure #4
#4: Northern Lights
Despite having spent six months in winter in Sweden, one of the favoured destinations for viewing the Northern Lights, I have never seen it throughout my entire time when I was there. Perhaps I knew that it was an indulgence that a poor student like me could not afford back then. However, I cannot remember how seeing the Northern Lights got on my bucket list and I started trying, first in Finland and this time round in a more remote place, Iceland.
I would say that I did see the Northern Lights on a few occasions on this trip but what I saw was very different from what I had imagined or seen in photographs. Those bright green patches that seem to be dancing in the sky seems to be a luxury of a cameraman or photographer. Perhaps the weather was not good enough or perhaps I was not lucky enough. There were days when the sky was cloudy but activity was high and there were days when the sky was clear and the activity was high, and also a day when the sky was cloudy and activity was moderate. All in all, I now know how the Northern lights are like but the next time I chase after the lights, I will make sure I camp in a cottage and wait throughout the night just like the days when I used to camp and wait for stars or shooting stars. :)
The saving grace from Northern Light hunting was that I saw a sky filled with stars while in Iceland and caught two shooting stars. It happened so quickly that I did not have the time to make a wish but I am still a happy girl with this episode. After all, the last time I saw a shooting star was in 2007 in Halong Bay. How time flies.
All in all, to say I am not disappointed about this whole Northern Lights saga would be an understatement of how I felt because I spent a bomb on all these tours. However, I do not have any regrets about embarking on it because seeing the Northern Lights is always something special, no matter how strong or weak the activity is! :)
Despite having spent six months in winter in Sweden, one of the favoured destinations for viewing the Northern Lights, I have never seen it throughout my entire time when I was there. Perhaps I knew that it was an indulgence that a poor student like me could not afford back then. However, I cannot remember how seeing the Northern Lights got on my bucket list and I started trying, first in Finland and this time round in a more remote place, Iceland.
I would say that I did see the Northern Lights on a few occasions on this trip but what I saw was very different from what I had imagined or seen in photographs. Those bright green patches that seem to be dancing in the sky seems to be a luxury of a cameraman or photographer. Perhaps the weather was not good enough or perhaps I was not lucky enough. There were days when the sky was cloudy but activity was high and there were days when the sky was clear and the activity was high, and also a day when the sky was cloudy and activity was moderate. All in all, I now know how the Northern lights are like but the next time I chase after the lights, I will make sure I camp in a cottage and wait throughout the night just like the days when I used to camp and wait for stars or shooting stars. :)
The saving grace from Northern Light hunting was that I saw a sky filled with stars while in Iceland and caught two shooting stars. It happened so quickly that I did not have the time to make a wish but I am still a happy girl with this episode. After all, the last time I saw a shooting star was in 2007 in Halong Bay. How time flies.
All in all, to say I am not disappointed about this whole Northern Lights saga would be an understatement of how I felt because I spent a bomb on all these tours. However, I do not have any regrets about embarking on it because seeing the Northern Lights is always something special, no matter how strong or weak the activity is! :)
Wednesday, 31 December 2014
2015: A new chapter
Once again, it is the time of the year when I sit down and reflect on whatever that has happened in the past one year. A year is 365 days long, sometimes 366, and there are days when you feel like you are on top of the roller coaster and others when you are down. After living for 28 years, I guess I have more or less gotten accustomed to what to expect in life.
So, this is the year that I told myself that I would steer myself in a completely direction, to leave my comfort zone and plunge into the unknown. Two years ago, I took up the CFA examinations hoping to constantly pick up new knowledge and hopefully it can help me open up more career opportunities. I am at the last level of the examinations this year and honestly, the journey has not been as smooth sailing as I expected. Nonetheless, I do not regret making the decision to take up the challenge.
There is a saying that goes, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." Although I agree that planning is important, I am a stronger believer of "It is execution that matters". After all, you can never disregard Murphy's Law. Back in 2013, I made solid plans for graduate school and my career transition but nothing materialised in the end. I ended up deciding to give myself a break in 2014 after I left my job.
For me, being in unemployment presents more emotional stress than financial stress. In my memory, ever since I was old enough to make decisions for myself, I have never been idle for a single day. This is not taking into account school holidays when I get paid despite not working. I have been constantly working on my academics or career or finances. As a student, I spent my holidays working to support myself. As an adult, holidays are the time for me to relax at home, spend time with my family and friends and rejuvenate my body and mind. So life has always have a definite purpose. For the past five months, I wake up in the morning not knowing what to do or what I have to complete. Anxiety started to catch on me because I started questioning my own decisions to leave my job when I could not go to graduate school. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night asking myself what have I done to my life and whether I will be able to find another job with my teaching experiences. I am not moving backwards but I am definitely not moving forward either. I guess I finally understood what it means to plunge into uncertainty. Despite being an Economics trained person whereby ambiguity and uncertainty are part and parcel of our theories, I still found it overwhelming when facing it.
Nevertheless, I would not say that I am unhappy with my life. I have more free time to myself after leaving my job so I could sort out my thoughts and think about what I want to achieve moving forward. Some of my friends commented that they were envious of my current status as an unemployed but everything has its pros and cons. What they see is only the fact that I no longer have to deal with the stresses and grouses of work. My conclusion is that the grass on the opposite pasture is always greener.
Besides my own personal life, 2014 has also been a terrible year for aviation, an industry that has always held an important place in my heart. I love aeroplanes and IMO, an aeroplane is the best invention in the world. If not for an aeroplane, I would not have discovered so much about the world, the various cultures, etc. I had previously wrote about how we should pray for the families of those on the two Malaysian Airlines flights who met with mishap. In total, there are five fatal flights in 2014 with the last one being AA in the last few days of the year. I hope people do not lose faith in the industry because I still believe that aviation is one of the safest industries in the world. Let us all hope for a better 2015. :)
My 2015 New Year resolution is to make dreams a reality.
I have wanted to pick up French for the longest time possible but I give up too easily. No one converses with me and the pronunciation is the hardest thing. In addition, I have wanted to learn Japanese because I have quite a few Japanese friends and I often meet them while on my travels. There is always a communication barrier and I told myself I must overcome this. However, I do not find the motivation to persevere in my pursuits because I do not get to practise the language and I am a person who loses knowledge that are not in use. So, I am still stuck with the reality of only knowing two languages - English and Chinese.
After all these reflections, I have decided to pick up Spanish instead. [LOL!] I realise that my motivation behind learning French and Japanese are passion and friends respectively. However, these are not strong motivations. When I am in Singapore, I never have to use any of these languages. I do not keep in frequent contact with my Japanese friends either for there to exist a compelling reason for me to learn the language. I want to learn Spanish because I intend to visit South America in the near future and without Spanish, I probably am going to have problems navigating and interacting with the locals. Hopefully, this will better motivate me to learn the language well!
Signing off with the quote for 2015:
So, this is the year that I told myself that I would steer myself in a completely direction, to leave my comfort zone and plunge into the unknown. Two years ago, I took up the CFA examinations hoping to constantly pick up new knowledge and hopefully it can help me open up more career opportunities. I am at the last level of the examinations this year and honestly, the journey has not been as smooth sailing as I expected. Nonetheless, I do not regret making the decision to take up the challenge.
There is a saying that goes, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." Although I agree that planning is important, I am a stronger believer of "It is execution that matters". After all, you can never disregard Murphy's Law. Back in 2013, I made solid plans for graduate school and my career transition but nothing materialised in the end. I ended up deciding to give myself a break in 2014 after I left my job.
For me, being in unemployment presents more emotional stress than financial stress. In my memory, ever since I was old enough to make decisions for myself, I have never been idle for a single day. This is not taking into account school holidays when I get paid despite not working. I have been constantly working on my academics or career or finances. As a student, I spent my holidays working to support myself. As an adult, holidays are the time for me to relax at home, spend time with my family and friends and rejuvenate my body and mind. So life has always have a definite purpose. For the past five months, I wake up in the morning not knowing what to do or what I have to complete. Anxiety started to catch on me because I started questioning my own decisions to leave my job when I could not go to graduate school. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night asking myself what have I done to my life and whether I will be able to find another job with my teaching experiences. I am not moving backwards but I am definitely not moving forward either. I guess I finally understood what it means to plunge into uncertainty. Despite being an Economics trained person whereby ambiguity and uncertainty are part and parcel of our theories, I still found it overwhelming when facing it.
Nevertheless, I would not say that I am unhappy with my life. I have more free time to myself after leaving my job so I could sort out my thoughts and think about what I want to achieve moving forward. Some of my friends commented that they were envious of my current status as an unemployed but everything has its pros and cons. What they see is only the fact that I no longer have to deal with the stresses and grouses of work. My conclusion is that the grass on the opposite pasture is always greener.
Besides my own personal life, 2014 has also been a terrible year for aviation, an industry that has always held an important place in my heart. I love aeroplanes and IMO, an aeroplane is the best invention in the world. If not for an aeroplane, I would not have discovered so much about the world, the various cultures, etc. I had previously wrote about how we should pray for the families of those on the two Malaysian Airlines flights who met with mishap. In total, there are five fatal flights in 2014 with the last one being AA in the last few days of the year. I hope people do not lose faith in the industry because I still believe that aviation is one of the safest industries in the world. Let us all hope for a better 2015. :)
My 2015 New Year resolution is to make dreams a reality.
I have wanted to pick up French for the longest time possible but I give up too easily. No one converses with me and the pronunciation is the hardest thing. In addition, I have wanted to learn Japanese because I have quite a few Japanese friends and I often meet them while on my travels. There is always a communication barrier and I told myself I must overcome this. However, I do not find the motivation to persevere in my pursuits because I do not get to practise the language and I am a person who loses knowledge that are not in use. So, I am still stuck with the reality of only knowing two languages - English and Chinese.
After all these reflections, I have decided to pick up Spanish instead. [LOL!] I realise that my motivation behind learning French and Japanese are passion and friends respectively. However, these are not strong motivations. When I am in Singapore, I never have to use any of these languages. I do not keep in frequent contact with my Japanese friends either for there to exist a compelling reason for me to learn the language. I want to learn Spanish because I intend to visit South America in the near future and without Spanish, I probably am going to have problems navigating and interacting with the locals. Hopefully, this will better motivate me to learn the language well!
Signing off with the quote for 2015:
Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one. ~ Brad Paisley
Tuesday, 30 December 2014
After thoughts of my epic 49-day adventure #3
#3: tranquility
I am typing this post of mine on my iPhone so I guess I need to keep it short. Why this title?
I realised, while on my travels, that one of the reasons why I love travelling because it provides me tranquility amidst the bustling crowd. While overseas, I usuaally do not purchase data card to gain access to the Internet. As a result, I only appear on WA, Instagram, FB, and all other social media sites only when I have WIFI access. This feeling of being disconnected to the World Wide Web gives me peace because I no longer have to be bothered about the daily grouses of life. Haha! I can truly enjoy the lone time with Nature, myself or my friends. While amongst the crowd, no one knows me because they do not know my FB account, cannot try to connect to me via Bluetooth or WIFi because I am disconnected and I need not bother about the people around me. However in Singapore, I have to wary about whether I would be "stomped", whether I would bump into someone I know, etc and therefore I feel less free in being myself. That's how technology can deprive us of privacy!
However, the ironic thing is that an iPhone with internet access enables me to travel in comfort. I can take photos with it, use the Google maps for navigation, listen to music, play games to pass time and most importantly Google for help or information. Hence, I still find myself constantly looking out for Free WIFI spots. Why does everything in life has to have tradeoffs?
I am typing this post of mine on my iPhone so I guess I need to keep it short. Why this title?
I realised, while on my travels, that one of the reasons why I love travelling because it provides me tranquility amidst the bustling crowd. While overseas, I usuaally do not purchase data card to gain access to the Internet. As a result, I only appear on WA, Instagram, FB, and all other social media sites only when I have WIFI access. This feeling of being disconnected to the World Wide Web gives me peace because I no longer have to be bothered about the daily grouses of life. Haha! I can truly enjoy the lone time with Nature, myself or my friends. While amongst the crowd, no one knows me because they do not know my FB account, cannot try to connect to me via Bluetooth or WIFi because I am disconnected and I need not bother about the people around me. However in Singapore, I have to wary about whether I would be "stomped", whether I would bump into someone I know, etc and therefore I feel less free in being myself. That's how technology can deprive us of privacy!
However, the ironic thing is that an iPhone with internet access enables me to travel in comfort. I can take photos with it, use the Google maps for navigation, listen to music, play games to pass time and most importantly Google for help or information. Hence, I still find myself constantly looking out for Free WIFI spots. Why does everything in life has to have tradeoffs?
Saturday, 27 December 2014
After thoughts of my epic 49-day adventure #2
#2: The dream world journey
While in Turkey, I met this Japanese girl who travelled for 1 year 3 months around the world. She started from Southeast Asia, then to Africa, Europe, South America, North America then finally back to Japan. You must be thinking, is it like a "around the world in 395 days" thingy? Spot on! Of course she did not visit every single country in the continents that I mentioned above but to be able to cover 42 countries in a year is quite a feat, ain't it? She simply shouted out to her FB friends that she will be travelling around and whoever is able to accommodate her can just leave her a note. She also did some couch surfing to save on costs. In total, she mentioned a budget of around 20,000 USD which is not too much considering that she travelled for more than a year!
Through the stories that she shared and the pictures that I saw on her Facebook, it hit me quite hard once again. I realise that we are both quite similar in a lot of ways. She is born in December and she is in the education field. She went travelling around the world to experience the different education systems and of course, she is a travel addict as well. We have very similar attitudes towards life but she is definitely braver than me! Inevitably, the Japanese community is also a very knitted one and it might be easier for her to find Japanese people all around the world. On top of that, she probably has more friends globally than I do. If you ask me to name a friend in South America, I can give you a number immediately and that is 0. She has indeed accomplish my favourite quote, "To travel around the world, take nothing but photographs, kill nothing but time and leave nothing but footprints."
Travelling around the world for an extended period of time going to different continents is something that I have always wanted to do. However, I lack the courage to do so. Sometimes I cannot stand my own rationality. I feel insecure when I think about the security issues that I may face, especially in countries in the African continent. South America is no better and knowing a little Spanish definitely works wonder. Unfortunately, I do not. In addition, I have concerns about finances. Who will fund my insurance premiums? Who will provide monthly maintenance for my parents? I can easily provide you a list of reasons as to why I cannot travel around the world on my own. One of the most compelling reasons is the fact that I cannot stand loneliness. Whenever I travel, I always have this urge to send postcards back to my sister (if she is not with me), my brother, two of my cousins (BH and Ben) and two of my nieces. They are the people whom I would like to share the best things that I have in life with, the beautiful landscapes, the warm hospitality that I receive, the many new found perspectives, etc. If I were to just travel alone, I have no one to share such thoughts with.
Nevertheless, I see meaning in travelling by myself too. Every now and then, I do trips on my own for a week or so and honestly, I do enjoy these trips. It gives me time to reflect on myself and also learn to be more humble. The fact that you are not constantly interacting with others gives you the time and space to think about things and meet new people and consequently, pick up new perspectives on life. The fact that you are on your own in a foreign place also means that you definitely require others' help and the feeling of being powerless makes you learn to be more humble. So each time I return from travelling by myself, I feel refresh and that I can become a better person in so many different ways.
After all these blabbering, I would say that I still do not have the courage to do what the girl did and can only be envious of her accomplishments. However, going to South Africa and all the countries in South America is definitely an item on my bucket list and it is something that I hope to work hard for moving forward. So, step 1, pick up Spanish! :)
Also, JJ Lin has a song that I love because of its lyrics, "那些你很冒险的梦，我陪你去疯” So many people that I come across ask me the same question, who exactly are you waiting for in life? Why haven't you found the right guy? Times like these make me more certain of what I am waiting for. I am waiting for that one guy who dreams the dreams I dreamt, willingly takes the risks that I dare not and loves me unconditionally. I might be asking a lot but I would rather meet that one right guy than to stumble upon many wrong ones.
While in Turkey, I met this Japanese girl who travelled for 1 year 3 months around the world. She started from Southeast Asia, then to Africa, Europe, South America, North America then finally back to Japan. You must be thinking, is it like a "around the world in 395 days" thingy? Spot on! Of course she did not visit every single country in the continents that I mentioned above but to be able to cover 42 countries in a year is quite a feat, ain't it? She simply shouted out to her FB friends that she will be travelling around and whoever is able to accommodate her can just leave her a note. She also did some couch surfing to save on costs. In total, she mentioned a budget of around 20,000 USD which is not too much considering that she travelled for more than a year!
Through the stories that she shared and the pictures that I saw on her Facebook, it hit me quite hard once again. I realise that we are both quite similar in a lot of ways. She is born in December and she is in the education field. She went travelling around the world to experience the different education systems and of course, she is a travel addict as well. We have very similar attitudes towards life but she is definitely braver than me! Inevitably, the Japanese community is also a very knitted one and it might be easier for her to find Japanese people all around the world. On top of that, she probably has more friends globally than I do. If you ask me to name a friend in South America, I can give you a number immediately and that is 0. She has indeed accomplish my favourite quote, "To travel around the world, take nothing but photographs, kill nothing but time and leave nothing but footprints."
Travelling around the world for an extended period of time going to different continents is something that I have always wanted to do. However, I lack the courage to do so. Sometimes I cannot stand my own rationality. I feel insecure when I think about the security issues that I may face, especially in countries in the African continent. South America is no better and knowing a little Spanish definitely works wonder. Unfortunately, I do not. In addition, I have concerns about finances. Who will fund my insurance premiums? Who will provide monthly maintenance for my parents? I can easily provide you a list of reasons as to why I cannot travel around the world on my own. One of the most compelling reasons is the fact that I cannot stand loneliness. Whenever I travel, I always have this urge to send postcards back to my sister (if she is not with me), my brother, two of my cousins (BH and Ben) and two of my nieces. They are the people whom I would like to share the best things that I have in life with, the beautiful landscapes, the warm hospitality that I receive, the many new found perspectives, etc. If I were to just travel alone, I have no one to share such thoughts with.
Nevertheless, I see meaning in travelling by myself too. Every now and then, I do trips on my own for a week or so and honestly, I do enjoy these trips. It gives me time to reflect on myself and also learn to be more humble. The fact that you are not constantly interacting with others gives you the time and space to think about things and meet new people and consequently, pick up new perspectives on life. The fact that you are on your own in a foreign place also means that you definitely require others' help and the feeling of being powerless makes you learn to be more humble. So each time I return from travelling by myself, I feel refresh and that I can become a better person in so many different ways.
After all these blabbering, I would say that I still do not have the courage to do what the girl did and can only be envious of her accomplishments. However, going to South Africa and all the countries in South America is definitely an item on my bucket list and it is something that I hope to work hard for moving forward. So, step 1, pick up Spanish! :)
Also, JJ Lin has a song that I love because of its lyrics, "那些你很冒险的梦，我陪你去疯” So many people that I come across ask me the same question, who exactly are you waiting for in life? Why haven't you found the right guy? Times like these make me more certain of what I am waiting for. I am waiting for that one guy who dreams the dreams I dreamt, willingly takes the risks that I dare not and loves me unconditionally. I might be asking a lot but I would rather meet that one right guy than to stumble upon many wrong ones.
Friday, 26 December 2014
After thoughts of my 49-day epic adventure #1
Since I embarked on a 49-day adventure, I promise to write 49 things or thoughts on my journey.
#1: A friend whom I miss
The main trigger of me visiting Europe again is to visit a friend of mine whom I have unknowingly known for 11 years. We got to know each other back in the Polytechnic but we somehow drifted apart until about 4-5 years ago. The trip to Korea kinda reignited our friendship and we started our monthly movie nights. When she decided to move to Switzerland to work, it struck me quite hard, not just because it meant there was no more monthly movie nights but that she was doing something that I long to accomplish. Initially, I had wanted to visit her while being enrolled in graduate school but since my plans had some hiccups, I did otherwise.
She is a stark contrast of who I am as a person. Having spent a month with her made me reflect a lot upon myself as a person, my character, how much I have changed over the years, etc. When she left Singapore, she made me miss movie nights. Now after visiting her, she made me miss her warm hospitality!
While in Turkey, one of the tour guides asked if we are best friends or good friends. Both of us did not answer or rather could not be sure what we should be saying. Somehow, to call someone your best friend, there needs to be reciprocity I guess. We need to both agree that we are each other's best friends then would we unconsciously say "yes" when others ask. I have loads of best friends, though the term "best" is supposed to mean the favourite among all. To say she is my best friend is a little too strong because people like Chris, WenX, Pigsy Ang, etc. are people who fit that title without second thoughts. Likewise for her, I am sure she has other groups of friends who will come to her mind when people mention the term "best friend".
So anyway, after a moment of awkwardness when we both did not give the guide a reply, she said, "We are close friends."
As someone whose friends are predominantly male, I think she can easily emerge as one of my best female friends (bffs). I have no qualms sharing with her some of my deepest thoughts and we do not pass judgments on each other's decisions or actions. Not that she would give me advices or whatsoever but the fact that I can open up to her so easily and vice versa is definitely one of the criteria to tick off when I decide if she is someone I can call a best friend too. Nonetheless, the title is not important. What matters is that I know she is someone whom I feel comfortable hanging around with, willingly share my stuff with, keeping each other updated about lives, etc. and actually keeping to my word about all these things beats giving each other fanciful titles but probably never bother contacting each other.
#1: A friend whom I miss
The main trigger of me visiting Europe again is to visit a friend of mine whom I have unknowingly known for 11 years. We got to know each other back in the Polytechnic but we somehow drifted apart until about 4-5 years ago. The trip to Korea kinda reignited our friendship and we started our monthly movie nights. When she decided to move to Switzerland to work, it struck me quite hard, not just because it meant there was no more monthly movie nights but that she was doing something that I long to accomplish. Initially, I had wanted to visit her while being enrolled in graduate school but since my plans had some hiccups, I did otherwise.
She is a stark contrast of who I am as a person. Having spent a month with her made me reflect a lot upon myself as a person, my character, how much I have changed over the years, etc. When she left Singapore, she made me miss movie nights. Now after visiting her, she made me miss her warm hospitality!
While in Turkey, one of the tour guides asked if we are best friends or good friends. Both of us did not answer or rather could not be sure what we should be saying. Somehow, to call someone your best friend, there needs to be reciprocity I guess. We need to both agree that we are each other's best friends then would we unconsciously say "yes" when others ask. I have loads of best friends, though the term "best" is supposed to mean the favourite among all. To say she is my best friend is a little too strong because people like Chris, WenX, Pigsy Ang, etc. are people who fit that title without second thoughts. Likewise for her, I am sure she has other groups of friends who will come to her mind when people mention the term "best friend".
So anyway, after a moment of awkwardness when we both did not give the guide a reply, she said, "We are close friends."
As someone whose friends are predominantly male, I think she can easily emerge as one of my best female friends (bffs). I have no qualms sharing with her some of my deepest thoughts and we do not pass judgments on each other's decisions or actions. Not that she would give me advices or whatsoever but the fact that I can open up to her so easily and vice versa is definitely one of the criteria to tick off when I decide if she is someone I can call a best friend too. Nonetheless, the title is not important. What matters is that I know she is someone whom I feel comfortable hanging around with, willingly share my stuff with, keeping each other updated about lives, etc. and actually keeping to my word about all these things beats giving each other fanciful titles but probably never bother contacting each other.
#visitingbluemosque
Staying connected with my readers (if they exist)
This space of mine has been left empty for way too long. It is unfortunate that I have not kept to my promise of updating my blog with regards to the travel adventures. I have been writing bits every now and then and soon, I am sure I will be able to post all of them. Blogger has a new function whereby they track the page views of my blog on a daily basis. Blogging is kinda outdated these days so I am surprised that I still have a few page views on a daily basis. I know that my family members and friends no longer read my blog so those who visit are definitely strangers.
However, if you are my friend and you still read my blog from time to time, please leave me a comment on this blogpost or write something in the chatterbox. It is always comforting to know who are those that silently stay updated with your life. :)
If you are a stranger who happened to chance upon my blog, do wave HI be it whether you have positive or negative comments about the things that I write. :)
However, if you are my friend and you still read my blog from time to time, please leave me a comment on this blogpost or write something in the chatterbox. It is always comforting to know who are those that silently stay updated with your life. :)
If you are a stranger who happened to chance upon my blog, do wave HI be it whether you have positive or negative comments about the things that I write. :)
Saturday, 9 August 2014
The friends I choose
I suddenly have the urge to write down some of my most complex thoughts now that I am unemployed and am having countless meet-ups with pals and friends that I have known over the course of the last 20 odd years.
One thing I realise about my choice of friends has always been a foe's friend is a foe. I usually do not enjoy being friends with people whom I disagree with the way they do things, not on a rash assessment but over a certain period of time of observing them, because I dislike having disagreements while hanging out with them. Consequently, I will also distant myself from people whom they hang out with. This is because I hate the awkward moment when we talk about the person who I have a different evaluation of. However, I have been keeping in contact with two of such people who happen to be friends with those people I crossed out as potential friends long ago. When they ask me about our mutual friends, the socially appropriate "me" will say neutral things about such people because I really dislike badmouthing others simply because my personal judgment and opinion of one do not constitute a good evaluation of a person after all. Everyone is entitled to their own personal opinions. However, I am someone who is frank to people whom I view as friends to keep for life.
For one of them, I met up with him lately and sometimes I forget about the fact that he is on very personal and close terms with these other people who I do not wish to be acquainted with. He is someone who is easy going and easy to talk to and I enjoy meeting up with him over coffee. The things that we talk about usually stretch beyond the daily grouses of life but more about things that we enjoy doing, travelling, world affairs, etc. Of course we do keep each other updated about our lives as well and he does share interesting things about his work with me and vice versa. However, every now and then, I am reminded of his friendship with all these other people and I feel that I should distant myself from him just to avoid that conflict in interest. Coupled with the fact that he is someone who is very easy to talk to, people converse with him a lot and of course he knows a lot of insider news and I am always wary of such people. Information has to be traded because when someone tells you a secret or some ground breaking news, it is inevitable that you will also tell him or her whatever you know. For me, I hate conversations like these whereby you need to trade information because put it in a crude way, you are simply gossiping. So I always choose to receive and simply nod in agreement. I always feel that if he is ever so willing to share information with me, it must also mean that he will be ever so willing to share information about me with others and honestly, I don't really enjoy that. Thus, from time to time, I will re-evaluate my friendship with him. Even now as I am typing this post, I am thinking about how I should be handling this friendship moving forward. We are planning a travel adventure soon and it is not that I am having second thoughts about it but will all the social media updates that he make complicate our friendship? I really don't know. I always believe that 作朋友讲缘分, too many people walk in and out of my daily life but only true friends leave their footprints. It may be cliche to say but it is so damn true! I rather have 10 close friends whom I remember their phone numbers by heart than to have a 100 unfamiliar numbers whom I will think twice about calling in my contact list. This is also the reason why people like CDGJ, BenC, Linken, etc. are so damn important to me.
In conclusion, I think sometimes this is perhaps the reason why your best friends and confidants are people whom you know in your teenage years. Things were so much simpler back in the younger days. You gossip but things you say do less damage than they do when you say it as a mature adult. Why must things get so complicated when you grow up? Or maybe I am the one who is complicated. This is also one of the many reasons why I want to run away all the time, to run away from all these complexities, hide myself from the world and start afresh elsewhere where no one knows me and I do not have to deal with all these shit of who's a friend of a foe or who's a foe or who's a friend's friend, etc., whom I should trust, whom I should not, etc. But that say, I love my family members a lot for they have been my pillar of support for the large part of my life thus far --> Stay tune for the next post: My lovely siblings!
One thing I realise about my choice of friends has always been a foe's friend is a foe. I usually do not enjoy being friends with people whom I disagree with the way they do things, not on a rash assessment but over a certain period of time of observing them, because I dislike having disagreements while hanging out with them. Consequently, I will also distant myself from people whom they hang out with. This is because I hate the awkward moment when we talk about the person who I have a different evaluation of. However, I have been keeping in contact with two of such people who happen to be friends with those people I crossed out as potential friends long ago. When they ask me about our mutual friends, the socially appropriate "me" will say neutral things about such people because I really dislike badmouthing others simply because my personal judgment and opinion of one do not constitute a good evaluation of a person after all. Everyone is entitled to their own personal opinions. However, I am someone who is frank to people whom I view as friends to keep for life.
For one of them, I met up with him lately and sometimes I forget about the fact that he is on very personal and close terms with these other people who I do not wish to be acquainted with. He is someone who is easy going and easy to talk to and I enjoy meeting up with him over coffee. The things that we talk about usually stretch beyond the daily grouses of life but more about things that we enjoy doing, travelling, world affairs, etc. Of course we do keep each other updated about our lives as well and he does share interesting things about his work with me and vice versa. However, every now and then, I am reminded of his friendship with all these other people and I feel that I should distant myself from him just to avoid that conflict in interest. Coupled with the fact that he is someone who is very easy to talk to, people converse with him a lot and of course he knows a lot of insider news and I am always wary of such people. Information has to be traded because when someone tells you a secret or some ground breaking news, it is inevitable that you will also tell him or her whatever you know. For me, I hate conversations like these whereby you need to trade information because put it in a crude way, you are simply gossiping. So I always choose to receive and simply nod in agreement. I always feel that if he is ever so willing to share information with me, it must also mean that he will be ever so willing to share information about me with others and honestly, I don't really enjoy that. Thus, from time to time, I will re-evaluate my friendship with him. Even now as I am typing this post, I am thinking about how I should be handling this friendship moving forward. We are planning a travel adventure soon and it is not that I am having second thoughts about it but will all the social media updates that he make complicate our friendship? I really don't know. I always believe that 作朋友讲缘分, too many people walk in and out of my daily life but only true friends leave their footprints. It may be cliche to say but it is so damn true! I rather have 10 close friends whom I remember their phone numbers by heart than to have a 100 unfamiliar numbers whom I will think twice about calling in my contact list. This is also the reason why people like CDGJ, BenC, Linken, etc. are so damn important to me.
In conclusion, I think sometimes this is perhaps the reason why your best friends and confidants are people whom you know in your teenage years. Things were so much simpler back in the younger days. You gossip but things you say do less damage than they do when you say it as a mature adult. Why must things get so complicated when you grow up? Or maybe I am the one who is complicated. This is also one of the many reasons why I want to run away all the time, to run away from all these complexities, hide myself from the world and start afresh elsewhere where no one knows me and I do not have to deal with all these shit of who's a friend of a foe or who's a foe or who's a friend's friend, etc., whom I should trust, whom I should not, etc. But that say, I love my family members a lot for they have been my pillar of support for the large part of my life thus far --> Stay tune for the next post: My lovely siblings!