A weird and silly dream....

The weirdest dream appeared last night! I dreamt that I was back to Stockholm, Sweden, back to SSE, Saltis and all that. I was with the wrong company, the sort of people whom I will never imagine being with while overseas. But nostalgia overwhelmed me when I awoke from the dream. SSE was still there, Saltis never changed a single bit, but Lidl was gone. Our favourite supermarket no longer stands as it is. I really wonder how much Stockholm has changed. I miss Stockholm, I really do. Truly, deeply, badly.......

so swarmed with work....

NIE is supposed to be a breeze, isn't it? It seems like I am more swarmed with work than ever, at least 20 assignments due of various degrees thus far. And I've got to take tests (MATH)! I'm fearless when it comes to Math exams since young but this time round, things are really different. It seems to me that the questions are more like Maths Olympiad Questions then mathematical questions. :( Oh well, to think I said I do not think that anyone can fail SMMT. I retract those words of mine. :(

And yes, november has too many deadlines awaiting me. I honestly need a break! :( I wanted to take time off to chill, sit down with friends and do nothing, play more tennis than ever, go back to studying French but none of these are on my agenda! Not that I will accomplish all of them without those assignments but perhaps the probability of accomplishing some is way higher!

Perhaps, wake me up when "December" comes. Cause that will be when all the deadlines are over and I can finally have a good break, enjoy my birthday month as usual. I love December!!!! :)) Nonetheless, they never last. From birthday to X'mas then New Year, time whizzes past always. And I vividly remember, last December I was away for almost the entire month. The kind of life I lick my lips over all the time! Not this December anymore.

Nonetheless, there are perks to me joining the force. Occasionally, I get text messages from my ex-students or meet them on the bus and we get to catch up on our lives. :)) And when they tell me how darling I was a teacher to them, my heart melts. Teaching is really a very satisfying job. :))

Enough of whining, back to work. :((

Sacrificing sleep for Mitch Albom's books!

Mitch Albom's books never fail to sweep me off my feet. This time round, "Have a little faith" indeed did not disappoint. Just a few meaningful excerpts from the book:

It's perfectly fine to say "Someone is imperfect but they don't need improvement because it simply means you are willing to accept them as they are."

Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.

There is no cynism in the line of work revolving faith. Let me answer with a story, "There's this salesman, see?" And he knocks on a door. The man who answers says, "I don't need anything today."

The next day, the salesman returns. "Stay away", as he is told. The next day, the salesman is back. The man yells, "You again! I warned you!" He gets so angry he spits in the salesman's face. The salesman smiles, wipes the spit with a handkerchief, then looks to the sky and says, "Must be raining."

That's what faith is. If they spit in your face, you says it must be raining. But you still come back tomorrow.

Make a case against God; When you come to the end, that's where GOD begins.

Why do bad things happen to good people? ..... Because when you lose someone you love, you can curse GOD. You can yell. You can blame him. You can demand to know why. But when you don't believe in God, and things happen, you can only blame yourself. "Oh yes, it is far more comforting to think God listened and said no, than to think that nobody's out there."

Most religions warn against war, yet more wars have been fought over religion than perhaps anything else. Sodom and Gomorrah.... But so many people wage wars in God's name. God does not want such killing to go on. But MAN does.

When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched. Because a baby, not knowing better, wants to grab everything, to say, "The world is mine." But when an old person dies, his hands are open because he has learned the less, "We can take nothing with us."

What do people fear most about death? And Thomas Hardy answers in his poem

"They count as quite forgot, They are as men who have existed not, Theirs is a loss past loss of fitful breath. It is the second death."

Fear of being forgotten - That's the second death.

Marriage & Commitment: What do you lose if you don't commit? "A happiness you cannot find alone."

The same things in life can be good or evil, depending on what, with free will, we do with them. Speech can bless or curse. Money can save or destroy. Science can heal or kill. Even nature can work for you and against you: fire can warm or burn; water can sustain life or flood it away. Nowhere in the story of Creation do we read the word "bad". From the beginning, God put this world into our hands so we were created with a piece of divinity inside us called free will. And what God does is watch us every day lovingly, praying that we will make the right choices.

Everyone has done some bad things in his life. But it's not about you against the other guy. It's God measuring you against you. "Maybe all you get are chances to do good, and what little bad you do ain't much bad at all. But because has God has put you in the position where you can always do good, when you do something bad - it's like you let God down. And maybe people who only get chances to do bad, always around bad things, like us, when they finally make something good out of it, God's happy."

It's amazing how folks can't see you, cause they want to keep you in that past. They just looked at your past. And when we're still looking at ourselves through our past, we're not seeing what God has done. What He can do! We're not seeing the little things that happen in our lives. You knew me. You knew that person, but you don't know the person that I'm trying to become. Judge Not.

It's amazing how all these excerpts struck a chord in me as I was reading. Another 10 years down the road, these excerpts will continue to remind me of how the book has touched my heart for I probably would not have the time to re-read it again. Perhaps, some day I will. Just like I would relish the opportunity to journey through "Tuesdays with Morrie."

It seemed too small for what I wanted to achieve in life, like being stuck wearing your grade school clothes. I had dreams of travelling, making foreign friends in foreign cities. I had heard the phrase "citizen of the world." I wanted to be one.

Quote of the day

"I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying." --- Michael Jordan

Peer Pressure

How to combat peer pressure at work and at school?

1. Think about what is best for the company you work for

Many times, others think solely about themselves, but if you think about the company as a whole, it will help your judgment process

2. Avoid gossiping in the workplace

This is very important. The last thing you want to do is start getting into a gossip battle with someone else at work. Go about your own business and get your work done well.

3. Keep a positive attitude no matter what.

Those who pressure you to do things you don't want to do will likely be frustrated if you have such a positive attitude.

4. Keep a smile on your face.

Do not talk behind other's backs. This is very hurtful and a good way to get yourself into trouble.

5. Choose your friends wisely.

There's a big difference between someone who pressures you into wasting your money on stuff you don't need and someone who draws you into drugs and alcohol. Kids who use that kind of peer pressure will make you feel rotten in other ways, so it's best to avoid them.

Find someone in your group of friends who objects to drugs, alcohol, crime, and cigarettes. An ally can really help when push comes to shove. Make sure you respect them, though, so the strategy doesn't backfire.

Support someone who's undergoing peer pressure. When cocaine is being passed around a party and kids are giving someone a hard time, pull them away from the crowd.

Emphasize that doing drugs, drinking alcohol and smoking are illegal. Ask your friends if they want to go to jail, get suspended from school or get into trouble with their parents. Tell them the punishment isn't worth the crime.

Learn the gruesome truth about the health effects of drugs, alcohol and smoking. They kill your brain cells. These chemicals ruin your skin, teeth, and hair and make you look and feel gross.

5. Take a broken record approach.

No matter what anyone says, repeat, "I don't do that stuff". You don't need to justify your decision.

Read horror stories on the Internet and share with them whoever's trying to pressure you. Some peers can only appreciate in-your-face messages like stories about destroyed lives. Email and text-message them URLs so they can see for themselves.

Avoiding peer pressure doesn't require not conversing with others. Converse and associate yourself, but don't compromise. Dealing with peer pressure isn't easy, but it can be done, so keep your head up and smile! :))

Trade-offs

Oh well, the past one week I've been digging myself in Mathematics. So much that I discovered I've a burning passion for it. Mathematics rocks! :))

And, I realise I really enjoy studying. Vividly remember how I used to laugh @ my friends for being bookworms, burying themselves in books. Oh well, so who's a frequenter of the library these days?

K is flying to Sweden ONCE AGAIN! Sometimes I really envy for all that he has. A warm AND rich family, an overseas job which allows him to shutter between SG and Sweden every now and then, a bunch of like-minded friends who play music, and many more.

But I guess that's the trade-off for subjecting myself to a bond. Less freedom, but perhaps more of other stuff?

Stages of Life... (Part 1)

Just a random post on life...(written 2 years back; I'd forgotten to publish it...

0-4 years old:

You were most probably living the happiest stage in life where u need not study and all you did everyday was sleep, eat (drinking milk), being pampered, carried all around and play! Adults would be busy taking care of u.. playing with u... You learnt how to speak, how to crawl, how to walk and how to run.. hahhaa.. For me, life before four is something that is extremely vague thus I do not have much memories of anything..All I remembered was my enemity against pacifiers.. They make me uncomfortable.. hehe.. but i had a bad habit of wearing pampers.. hahaha... At the turn of five years old, i met "him".. Something that has a love-and-hate relationship with me.. It was something I had to rely on for the rest of my life and yet I didn't like it a single bit.. My childhood mates were of course my beloved brother and cousin.. All the dumb child's play like role-playing doctors, nurses, teachers etc... and doctor games tt we played...I kind of miss them.... Fortunately, i need not attend nursery and that saved me from an extra year of pain and agony from reading and studying...

5-6 years old:

OMG! Inauguration of SCHOOL! Afterall, it was a Christian kindergarten so things weren't that bad... I started picking up my ABC and 123 and of course, it's FUN! ... However, I lost touch with all those kindergarten friends of mine already....

My ambition: To be a DOCTOR~~

7-10 years old:

Primary School!! Life still wasn't that pathetic...Kids started to go to school to learn more complicated stuff not just academically but also socially.. At this point in life, everyone is a friend to you and there wasn't any hard feelings between anyone... hehe.. Differences between the opposite sexes were never highlighted and your teachers make you hold hands with one another till primary three....I vividly remember this guy who sat next to me in class who often lacked behind others in his work.... We talked a lot a lot and I was often punished because of that.... Subsequently, we started assigning homework to each other though most of the time, he was the disciplined one who kept to his promise... I evolved to be more like a teacher to him going through his work and "correcting" them within my mental capability... Had my teaching ability been spotted back then? CLUELESS....

When I entered primary three, I was first exposed to "foreign students"... This wealthy Indonesian boy, Bobby, who was my first best male friend in primary school. Sitting behind me in the classroom, both of us could go on for hours bickering about trivial stuff.. Nevertheless, no argument ever affected our friendship... At the end of the day, both of us always made up and we would walk home together with his maid who would pick him up from school... Though the journey wasn't that long, those images stay in my memory ALWAYS...

Primary 4 followed shortly and I met friends whom I term as Best Friends, YP.LY.. I attempted lies so that I could linger in school a while longer to play but my grandmother was smart enough to see through them. However, she was kind enough not to expose me in front of my Mom. Woo! Thanks!

It was also during this stage in life that I first experienced my lifetime hobby- MAHJONG! hahaha...

My ambition: to be a Teacher or Lawyer~~~

11-12 years old:

Probably the worst two years in my life and in primary school as I had to transfer to a new school and adapt to a totally new lifestyle.... Everything started from 0 and within two years, PSLE appeared on the agenda...It was probably at this stage in life that I suffered my first major setback in life as i underperformed..

Needless to say, this was also a point in life when bgr crept into my life... Friends confide in you as to who they have taken a liking to.. Gossips flew all around and if you wanted it to be a secret, the best way was to not let a single person know... The more happy memory in this stage was probably the integration of mahjong into my life since I played mahjong every vacation and almost every other night at my cousin's house...Was vulgar in it as well? hahaha

I am still steadfast in my ambition to be a LAWYER!

13-16 years old:

To everyone, this stage in life is always memorable and unforgettable... You start to rebel against teachers, parents and anyone who tried to control or take away ur freedom! You openly challenge the teacher's authority, you start to engage in emotions like infactuation and crushes... You seek intimidation with the opposite sex... Terms like backstabbers, hypocrites became pervasive in your life... You always coined them as detestable etc... However, I cannot help but agree it is definitely this point in life that you meet your true friends in life... The people who will walked through life with you.... For me, the first two years in secondary school is what I'd term as the transition period.. I didn't have much good memories perhaps because I wasn't a competent participant in the social setting as yet..It was in secondary two when I met Karine and Debbie that I finally opened up... We hanged out at Westmall almost everyday after school and those days were really carefree....

Entry into sec 3 & 4 changed my life completely... Nominated and perhaps voted the most outspoken and talkative GIRL in class, I am not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult... hahaha.. I understood the meaning of unrequittance, the struggles especially when the opposition party is your best friend....Yet, without ignition, wounds won't hurt as much... Time heals them.

Subsequently, I met SH, one of my best pals in life... Those crazy acts in school, and the whining about the distance between our homes etc. We have always been looking forward to the day when both of us would live in the same neighbourhood so we could turn the whole neighbourhood upside down... God granted us our wishes eventually but it came too late... It's insignificant now...

Before I put a full-stop to my teenager years, I met the two most important PALS in my life-Chris.WenX. Together with SP, SIDY was established.. I would single out those days with them as the most memorable period in my teenage years... The swings, the nasi lemak, the complaints, the prefects, the macdonalds, basketball sessions, the sms-es, the phone calls, the bus rides... Everyday, there were a million things for us to lament on...

From them, I learnt one important rationale in life - Every end is also another new beginning...

Uncontained laughter, happiness was present in every single cell of mine.... When you needed help, you knew instantly who to seek, comfort was always available.. Even till years later, the bond, the telepathy that you share never disappears.... For that, I heart them.....

When you least expects it, God throws you yet another lifeline... Ta-daa~ Pigsy Ang! We were originally two planets that would never ever have clashed. Even if we did chance upon each other, we always inflicted damage on each other... Arguments never ever escaped our conversation even till the day when we were put to sit next to each other... But when two planets are forced to revolve around each other peacefully, an unexpected reaction ignites... That's why till today, he's still the one who will drive me around whenever I requested.. He's still the one who would send some chocolates to my place and tell the banglas not to remove them.....

When you realise you lack the foundation that will pave the way to your dream, you steer away.
My ambition ~~ To be a Counsellor !

17-19years old:

My experience at AL Dente was one of the most enjoyable one, meeting great friends like Jun, Nick , Jeremy & Ben... till now, we still keep in contact occasionally and I really miss them a lot a lot! haha.. U learnt abt skills tt u nv knew.. for me, italian food! hahaha.. bar!! wines!! spirits!! beers!! u see how ugly men become when they fight for promotion and pay increase!!

Ambition: Singer or Accountant/Auditor

Point in life when u start to make decisions about your own future, some may already have a partner whom they intend to spend the rest of their life.. some still single.. some attached and stuff... U experience working life if u are a Poly student and if a JC Student, u learn all about stress!! hahaha... U see more backstabbers and hypocrites.. u start to miss ur childhood! U gossip about somebody around the clock.. u stare at guys in lectures, follow them, appearing at the same canteen many times a day in the hope of seeing them.. hahaha..

For me, i met another group of close friends, Shuin dee & JANICE & Jiaying who did all the above with me.. Getting enrolled into TDP provide the environment for me to mature, learnt how to handle politics better than in sec sch, made presentations in classes and grps, peer tutor a grp of students etc etc... & this was the first time i was able to officially skip classes w/o gving any1 any excuses! Damn cool! hahhaa.. I love Jan & Omma.. cause they really brought me tons of laughter and taught me different lessons in life, different from those that SIDY & SH & Deb did.! I learnt first hand auditing experience too @ EY.. i will always be grateful to AG for showing me the ropes back then, for being a mentor, a friend, a confidant, and a BOSS...

I moved into nightlife with Ben upon leaving EY and right there I met A, someone whom I shared an ambigious relationship with. Back then he often set me into thinking about the future, and I'm glad I met him. He made me realised what I wanted in life most, and in him, I found the courage and perseverance to set out for what I wanted most in life, to travel around the world. Without him, I doubt I will ever embark on my adventures to the different continents in the world. The exposure in ICB opened up my tiny little world, I became more receptive towards the different cultures, values, behaviour, etc.

In the last lap of my polytechnic education, I met another 2 good friends, Allan & Shuren. Two young, smart, and, promising lads who will some day in the future become our future leaders. The long and gruelling nights of current affair discussions, preparing for our scholarship interviews, psychometric tests, etc. always seem less tiring with their accompany. Finally, before I knew it, it was time for me to graduate from the Polytechnic and i dreaded it because it meant that everything was reset and I had to start all over again as a fresh undergraduate! Haizz....

After graduation, I went on cruise, and even got a job @ Hilton hotel working @ the front desk. Since I am so passionate about travelling, picking up the know-hows of the tourism industry is a must. It was right there where I get to interact with people of different nationalities the most. However, I was also exposed to the backstabbing world, the scandals.. etc etc.. I finally truly UNDERSTOOD the importance of education in SG. The privileged ones are always the smart ones. I see why foreigners dominate the F&B industries because Singaporeans are choosy characters when it comes to working.

Then I had to face one of the toughest decision in my life: Scholarship or SIA?

Ambition : Air-stewardess or Teacher/Lecturer?

20-23 years old:

And so I chose knowledge over glam, and I have to salute myself for making this wise choice. Come to think of it now, it shouldn't have been that hard a decision. I've to admit that studying in NUS is not as easy as what others perceive it. The rolling tons of coursework, competition, assignments, exams that you are have to deal with will easily turn a sane person insane anytime. Without the right balance in life, leisure activities, friends who show support, one will easily sink into depression. Of course, that's only if you wish to ace your exams and emerge as a top class honours graduate. If you are just aiming for a pass, it's as easy as ABC. Just show up for your tutorials, put in the minimal effort and you will be guaranteed a 'C' every semester for every module.

Joseph & Sharon; my first few friends in NUS who walked through the tortuous year 1 phase, me laughing @ their lame jokes while they laugh @ my laughter and poise because I burst into tears too easily while laughing. If you have ever been alone in a social setting, you will understand how much of a comfort it is to have someone sitting beside you during lectures, in tutorials, planning modules, etc.

Pauline, Rachel, HuiYun: I wasn't too receptive towards Pauline when I first met her because she was very quiet and looked like the studious type who was only interested in studying. So despite taking 2 modules tog with her, Calculus & Econs with her, we only attended school together and parted ways after classes. But never in my imagination would she become my best friend in NUS, who tolled through the first 3 years of school. Lunches, Dinners, takeaways in LTs, and eventually gatherings outside school with Rachel, Huiyun to the Botanic Gardens, Waraku, etc.

And I'm kind of tired..... Shall continue with it some other day about the interesting characters I met in my life..

Labelling II

Finally finished labelling all the past posts! It took me more than 6 hours in tally to do it.

Why on earth did I blog so much in the past?

Some of the posts are really random and I'd no clue how to label them?

But at least those from Stockholm are all classified in one label; STOCKHOLM :))

Lovely memories...