A long overdue trip to the Holy Land Part IV

Day 5: Why the name, Holy Land? 

This was a day whereby we traced the footsteps of religion, be it Judaism or Christianity or the Moslem faith. We first arrived at Mount Olives (holy mountain claimed by the Jews, Christians and also Moslems), overlooking Mount Scopus and listened to the stories of Judaism. 

Judaism: 

• Abraham is the Father of all Jews and he was the first to believe in the existence of a one and only God. To test Abraham's fait, God asked him to kill his own son Isaac at an altar at Mountain of Moriah. Although Abraham loved his son a lot, he loved God even more so he brought Isaac to Mountain of Moriah. When he was about to slit Isaac's throat, an angel appeared and saved Isaac. In return of his faith in God, God promised Abraham to give his descendants a land of their own because they would be enslaved in a foreign nation for 400 years. Isaac's son, Jacob, had 12 sons and they are the 12 tribes of Israel in ancient times. 
• For 400 years, the Jews were enslaved by the Egyptian pharaohs. Eventually, Moses was commissioned by God to take the lead to bring His people to the promised land. 
• Initially, the pharaoh refused and oppressed the people of Israel even more. There came the cycle of ten plagues in Egypt and after the final plague - death of the firstborn, the Egyptians agreed to let the children of Israel leave. However, they went back on their word after Moses set off and sent their chariots and army after them. It was at the Red Sea that God delivered the parting of the Red Sea such that Moses and his followers were led to safety but the Egyptian armies were drowned. 
• They then arrived at the holy mountain, Mount Sinai, whereby God delivered the ten commandments. 
• The reason why circumcision is done by the Jews is because of the events of Abraham and Isaac. Circumcision is the idea of mankind cutting a flesh on their body and giving it to God. 
• On Mount Olives, we see Mount Scopus where all Jewish tombs are placed. All the tombs face Temple Mount (in the Old City in Jerusalem) and it is believed that the dead should have their feet pointing towards Temple Mount. The day the Messiah arrives, the dead will be resurrected and will all walk towards Temple Mount. Our guide has a very interesting way to put it across - some people may have been dead for thousands or hundreds of years and back in those days, there were no GPS. So long as their feet point towards Temple Mount, the moment they are resurrected, they just have to walk straight and not have to figure out their way. :) However, during the 19 years between 1948 and 1967 when the Jordanians were in control of East Jerusalem and the area of Mount Olives, a lot of the tombs were destroyed. Perhaps (I am not sure either), the Israelis felt that they had to take back whatever that belonged to their ancestors. 
• Apparently, before the Second Temple Mount was destroyed, the Jews simply buried dead bodies underneath the soil. However, in order to save space, they started to bury them in boxes i.e. coffins. They are not supposed to burn the corpse because if you do, the dead cannot be resurrected. 
• It is believed that the Messiah will enter the old city via Gate 8. Unfortunately, this area is under Palestinian control and the Moslems built their tombs in front of Gate 8. It is such insensitivity that has brought decades if not centuries of wars between the various religions, I guess. 
• To know about Temple Mount, stay tuned for tomorrow's post! 

#Fun fact: The word 'carat' to describe diamonds is derived from the carob tree, tree of the poor people. Each carob fruit weighs 0.2g and if you say the diamond is of 0.5 carat, it means it weighs 0.1g. Interesting!

From mount olives, we also saw the various churches that are of significance to the Christians and subsequently walked the Via Dolorosa. 

Christianity: 

• Garden of Gethsemane: After Jesus and his disciples had their last supper, he brought his disciples to the Garden of Gethsemane on Mount Olives and sat in the garden to pray. But at times, his disciples would fall asleep. Lol! Anyway, I cannot remember the story well but it should be something along these lines - Jesus felt his body weakening so he prayed to have his body strengthened to endure whatever that was coming next. Jesus sat on a rock and while he was praying, he perspired and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. Subsequently, Judas (one of his disciples) brought the Roman soldiers to Jesus. 

• Church of Dominus Flevit: Shaped like a teardrop, it is said that Jesus had foreseen the destruction of Temple Mount and wept. Indeed, through the windows in the Church, you have a splendid view of today's Dome of the Rock, ancient times' Temple Mount. 

• Church of St. Stephen: He was stoned to death because he was the first to believe in Christianity in the olden days. 

• Via Dolorosa (14 stations that Jesus passed by upon his arrest till his crucification): Apparently, the 14 stations were not written in the bible but it was a tradition started by the Franciscans. Nevertheless, so many of the things that we do today are due to traditions from the past. Rationale and logic need not always be the backbone of why we do certain things. Just live life and enjoy life. 
• Station 1: Jesus was condemned to death at this Courtyard of the Roman Fortress. 
• Station 2: Chapels of the Condemnation and Flagellation - Jesus was led into the hall called the Praetorium and was clothed in purple, plaited a crown of thorns and picked up the cross for the first time. The chapel had decorations of the thorns. 
• Station 3: At a corner on El-Wad Road (Polish chapel), Jesus falls under the Cross for the first time. 
• Station 4: Mary stood at the roadside and saw Jesus carrying the Cross. She was shocked and fell to the ground. In this little Armenian Catholic chapel today, her grief and sadness are remembered. 
• Station 5: Simon, a passer-by, helped Jesus to carry the cross as Jesus was about to carry the cross uphill next. 
• Station 6: As Jesus was carrying the cross uphill, a lady by the name of Veronica, who saw it from her home, came to Him and helped wipe the sweat from Jesus's face. It was said that Jesus's face was printed on the cloth that was used to wipe His face and Veronica who was down with a sickness miraculously recovered after she touched Jesus. 
• Station 7: Jesus fell to the ground the second time at this spot when He was leaving the city through a gate. Tradition tells us that His death notice was posted here and hence, the Christian name for the site: "Judgment Gate". 
• Station 8: Some of the Jewish people felt sorry for Jesus when He passed them by. However, it is said that Jesus felt the opposite because he know that their city was going to be destroyed soon. 
• Station 9: Jesus finally left the city and was outside of the city walls. Marked by a Roman column, Jesus fell to the ground for the third time. 
• Station 10: Jesus was stripped of His garments at this spot. It is now part of the Church of Holy Sepulchre -  a church built by Constantine of the Byzantine Empire. We could only see the windows of the church. 
• Station 11: Jesus was nailed to the cross on the ground. 
• Station 12: This Greek altar stands over the Rock of Calvary. The cross which Jesus was nailed to, was put in an upright position at this very spot. Why this spot? Crucification is the harshest punishment during the Roman times and it is usually carried out on the hills. The site of Jesus's crucification is also a hill in ancient times until the Byzantine Emperor, Constantine, built the church. Therefore, this was actually a spot on a hill. 
• Station 13: Here, Jesus was taken down from the cross and today, a statue of Virgin Mary is placed as a remembrance that Mary stood there to see Jesus being taken off the cross. 
• Station 14: They placed Jesus's body on a stone, washed it and wrapped it in a clean, linen cloth and laid it in a tomb. Apparently, it is said that because Jesus was hanged on a Friday afternoon (since Thursday evening was Passover holiday and Jesus and His disciples spent time in the Garden of Gethsemane), he was not supposed to be buried during this time of the day. A guy had given up his own tomb to Jesus in a burial chamber but they had to do it quick. It was Joseph, a disciple of Jesus, who went to ask for Jesus's body and had it buried.
• Before we know it, when the people returned on Sunday, they realised that Jesus's body was gone and that He had resurrected!
• Room of the Last Supper where Jesus broke bread and offered wine to his disciples, saying to take a part of Him with them, bread like His flesh and wine as His blood and that He will sacrifice Himself to redeem the sins of mankind. The Moslems are the ones who are holding the keys to the Church (including the Holy Sepulchre) because there are many different sects in Christianity and each fights over the rights to the church. So the Moslems took over and there, they built a minaret that points towards Mecca. Funny how things iron out in Jerusalem. In any case, most of us would have seen or heard about the painting of the Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci done in 1496. Our guide told us that the painting was done based on the European perspective and that it is not what the Last Supper would have looked like because Jesus dined with his disciples on the floor, not while sitting around a table. During the Last Supper, Jesus also spoke of his disciples, of which one (Judas) will betray him and another will deny him 3 times (Peter). 

• It is also said that 49 days after His death, a fire broke out in this very room and people heard a lot of echoes. Subsequently, it allowed them to speak many different languages or tongues so that they could spread the word of God all over the world. Then came the joke of the Jerusalem Syndrome whereby one who has visited these sites would start to hallucinate and think that they are the disciples of Jesus or Jesus Himself and start sprouting weird things or speak in unknown languages. 
• Dormition Abbey (Lutheran Church of the Redeemer): A German church which was believed to be where Mary resided after Jesus died. Mary is said to have ascended to Heaven while sleeping. 
• King David's Tomb: Said to be but not necessarily. 

Fun fact: The old city's walls are all made of limestones thus there is a regulation in Jerusalem that all buildings in the city must have its exterior being built using limestones. This explains why all the buildings in Jerusalem have the same color. Perhaps this is what makes the city beautiful as well! :) 

We also went to the Western (a.k.a. Wailing) Wall on this very day but I guess I will leave it to tomorrow to blog about this, together with Temple Mount and the thousands of years of history of Israel. And the footsteps shall continue…. 

A long overdue trip to the Holy Land Part III

Day 4: And the footsteps in the Holy Land shall never be forgotten

First stop of the day: City of David (King), built in 1000 BC by King David

• If you have heard about the battle of Goliath and David, then you should know who David is exactly. A few years ago when I went to Florence, the Statue of David meant nothing to me. Now, I fully comprehend. 
• All of the city's foundations and structures are built using rocks and stones. If a city is destroyed, a new foundation has to be built on top of the original ones which explains why the City of David is at a much lower ground compared to the Old City today. 
• Fun fact: How to know if the remnants that you see belong to a rich or poor family? If you see a loo, then you are looking at a rich man's house. Apparently, during ancient times, only the wealthy can afford to have a toilet in their house! 
• City of David was built on a hill because it had a valley as natural protection, farming and also there were springs nearby to provide water. More often than not, we neglect the importance of water. However, a visit to Israel made me realised that the rise and fall of most civilizations can be attributed to the control of the water source. 
• The choice of the location was also due to a covenant that Abraham had with God. God had told Abraham where he wanted the Temple Mount to be located. 
• As we walked through the City of David (only remnants and a lot of archaeological work being carried out), we also went to the Hezekiah Tunnel or Siloam Tunnel where we saw how the water shaft system worked. The spring was outside of the city walls and in the event of a siege, one's enemies would first gain control of the spring and cut off the water supply to the troops inside the wall. Hence, a tunnel was dug to channel water from the spring into a reservoir inside the city walls to collect water. Despite now being 3,000 years later, we could still hear the water gushing down the water channels. The next question would then be: "Why didn't they build the city walls around the spring?" This was because the terrain around the spring was flatter and it would be easier for your enemies to attack. So they built the walls slightly further away from the spring which had a steeper slope and would made it difficult for enemies to attack. 

Second stop: Israel Museum - to see the model of the city of Jerusalem including how Temple Mount would look like if it had still been there. We also get to see the Dead Sea Scrolls which are writings about the Torah or the Bible.

• Dead Sea Scrolls were written by a group of religious men (no women was accepted into the group because they felt that women cannot be trusted) who were known as the Sons of Light
• Lived around the Dead Sea area which explains how the name "Dead Sea Scrolls" come about 
• This group of religious men copied the biblical text day and night because they decipher from the Old Testament that there will be war and they had to protect the scripts. They also engage in ritual baths to always keep themselves clean. 
• When the romans came, they hid the scrolls in a jar initially but subsequently merely dumped them into a cave, most likely due to time constraint. 
• It was a Bedouin nomad who was looking for his lost sheep who found the scrolls. 
• They are very well-preserved and protected in the Israel museum and are written in ancient Hebrew. According to the guide, there is not much difference between ancient and modern Hebrew and he can read it perfectly. However, when we requested for him to read it to us, he simply say, "yeah I will." and then digressed. 

Third Stop: Yad Vashem Museum (Holocaust Museum) - a place never to be forgotten 

I like the way the Jews put thought into everything that they design, akin to the Japanese people. You get to see a lot of trees being planted to show their appreciation and remembrance of the people who tried to save the Jews from the Nazis at the entrance to the museum. The design of the museum itself is one whereby you walk through a maze and you begin your journey in a gloomy hallway. The last stop in the museum is a room decorated like a library with a pit in the bottom and a mirror on top. The rooms have lots of shelves and there are thousands, if not hundred of thousands, of files labelled with the names of all the Jews who, unfortunately, were massacred or died during the Holocaust. The reason why they have a pit with a mirror is because these people who died were never given a proper burial, especially if they were victims of the concentration camps in Birkenau and Auschwitz because their corpse visited Poland just two years ago, everything about the Holocaust and whatever that happened in WWII was still fresh in my memory. Recently, I also read a book titled "The Berlin Boxing Club" which is related to the treatment of Jews in Germany during the 1940s. At the end of the gallery, you will get a bird's eye view of the city of Jerusalem and it is so that though the past was gloomy, the future is a bright one filled with hopes for this beloved city and home of theirs. 

As photography was strictly prohibited, I do not have any photos to show but everything that I saw, read and heard about will stay with me for the rest of my life. How the Jews were being cornered in Germany, sent to live in ghettos, shot to death, and eventually the Final Solution came about. I have admiration for the Jews because they are a race who has been through so much from ancient times, wars with the Babylonians, Persians, Romans, Moslems, Turks, and eventually Arabs, extermination by Germans who for no apparent reason simply hated them back then, etc. However, they stood strong and finally they get to return to their promised land. I am particularly touched by what the guide said, that they are not asking for abundant natural resources or vast land space but merely a small strip of land which is hardly visible from space, 500 km long and 130 km wide, a place promised by God to them and a place that they can call home. 

Biblical places that we visited:

• Church of Nativity in Bethlehem: Bethlehem is currently under the Palestinian control based on a peace treaty signed in 2000 between Israel and Palestine. Church of Nativity is believed to be the birth place of Jesus. To go to Bethlehem, we have to pass through a security checkpoint. You can see high walls and some barbed fences because there were constant attacks by the Palestinians on non-Arabs living in the area separating Jerusalem and Bethlehem before the peace treaty in 2000. I also saw graffiti of messages directed at the Jews and also Israel on the side of the wall that is in Bethlehem. I would say that though we were trapped in the hotel due to the snowstorm, we were very blessed while we were in Israel. Most of the places that we went to did not have long queues and we were able to see for ourselves the Star of Bethlehem, enter the Temple Mount area, etc. The reason why Christians connected Bethlehem to the birth of Jesus was because they believe that Jesus was a descendant of King David and when Jesus was born, 3 shepherds saw a star in the sky and it was known as the Star of Bethlehem. Honestly, that birth spot was really like a cave and you had to walk down a steep flight of steps in order to get in. 
• Fun tale: When the Persians invaded Israel around 600 AD, this church was not destroyed because they saw a mosaic painting of the three wise men and mistook it as the Moslem's three magi. Truth or not, I have no idea either. 
• Rachel, 1 of 4 wives (Sarah, Rebecca, Lia and Rachel) of Jacob is believed to be buried in Bethlehem
• Statue of St Jerome in the Courtyard: He gave himself a test to translate the biblical text from Hebrew to Greek and before he died, he managed to complete it. 
• Jerusalem cross: The cross in the middle represents Christianity or God and the 4 smaller crosses means to spread the faith to the 4 corners of the world.

Last stop for the day: Shabbat of a lifetime

• Shabbat means the 7th day of the week which is actually our Saturday! In the Jewish calendar, there is no Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. but just the 'first day', 'second day', etc. The first day of the week is actually Sunday (yes, Jews work on Sundays) and Friday is the sixth day of the week. 
• Shabbat starts from 7 p.m. on Friday till 7 p.m. on Saturday because they believe that 7 p.m. on Friday is actually the beginning of a new day. Markets close at 2 p.m. on Friday so do all other stores. 
• Shabbat is a day whereby everyone is to rest and not do anything or use any new creation e.g. watching tv programmes, writing, calling, texting, checking emails, surfing the Internet, switching on the lights, not even push the buttons in a lift. 
• During Shabbat, lifts will stop at every level and all lights are pre-programmed to be turned on and off.  Food has to be cooked before 7 p.m. on Friday evening and kept warm and served during dinner. 
• Reason for Shabbat: It is believed that God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th day so He wants people to rest, relax and spend time with their family during Shabbat. 
• Fun fact: What is Kosher? It is something like Halal but slightly different. Kosher means the food that is prepared involves having a slaughter house to slaughter the animals that are to be eaten, be it chicken, lamb, sheep, cow, etc. I think prayer is involved and the slaughterer needs to be a religious person and he or she has to kill the animal at one specific place i.e. the throat at one attempt. The blood then has to be drained since the blood symbolises the soul and salt is placed on the meat to extract all the blood. 
• Food that is Kosher: Fish with fins and scales, Chicken, Beef. 
• Food that is not Kosher: Dairy products e.g. not to mix lamb with goat milk because lamb is considered to be impure since it involves killing whereas goat's milk is considered to be pure since it does not involve killing. 

Personal thoughts about Shabbat: I honestly love this practice. We are all so busy with our lives in Singapore that we have simply neglected one of the many riches of life - to spend time with our family members and do nothing but talk and share our happenings in the week before. When I was in Israel, I did not have access to wifi during the first four days but instead of feeling disappointed, I actually gave my mind a good rest to be away from the games, messages, calls, emails etc. I enjoy the "ME" time and sis and I simply just lazed around. I did some personal reflections for the year, watched the news a lot and also slept a lot to recharge myself for the new year. Can we have Shabbat in Singapore too? There are too many things about Israel that impressed me. Remember I talked about the wifi and the Majulah Singapura in the previous post? This Jewish family that hosted us for the dinner has three kids, a girl aged 5, a boy aged 3 and an infant. While the parents were explaining to us the different practices during Shabbat, the stories of the guests that they had entertained over the last year or so, the young girl would always interrupt and ask lots of questions. In a typical Asian family or maybe is just my family, we would probably ask the kiddo to shut up or we would find a toy or gadget to keep her entertained in a corner. However, the parents did otherwise. They would give the young girl attention, answer her question patiently then return to whatever that they were talking about. At certain junctures, I myself found the girl to be a little disruptive but seeing the way the parents handled the girl made me felt a little guilty and perhaps also ashamed that we do not practice such habits to give a young child the opportunity to speak up. This is a lesson that I would take home with me and that in my classroom, everyone is free to interrupt and ask lots of questions while I am explaining something. I like it when my students ask questions in class but I would prefer them to ask me after I have finish explaining something rather than interrupting me and disrupting my train of thoughts. However, after this Shabbat experience, I should perhaps change my perspective with regards to this. 

Anyways, perhaps it is because this Shabbat experience is something new to me which explains why I enjoyed the dinner a lot. Maybe if I have to be constantly away from new creation, I would go bonkers eventually. Imagine having a burning question and no one knows the answer except Google. What would I do? It is also during such times that I really miss the times in Europe when the pace of life is much slower and I cycle around the city with my friends, go for picnics and strolls in the parks. I had no Whatsapp, Candy Crush, Subway Surf, Facebook or Instagram, etc. to entertain me but I wasn't less happy at all. In fact, I felt that I had more back then. 

And the footsteps linger, till tomorrow.

A long overdue trip to the Holy Land Part II

Day 3: We started the day early and travelled southwards from the Sea of Galilee to other key cities in Israel - Haifa, Tel Aviv (Jaffa) and finally Jerusalem.

We started the day with a boat cruise on the Sea of Galilee. Israel really surprises me in different ways. First, we had roaming wifi on a tour bus on the very day we arrived. Next, they played our National Anthem and started raising our flag with the Israeli flag beside it. Who would have expected that? Anyway, the view was picturesque and perhaps only New Zealand can match the view?

Biblical places that we visited:

• Church of Annunciation: This is believed to be the childhood place of Virgin Mary. It was at this place in Nazareth where an angel announced to Mary that she would conceive and become the Mother of Jesus (meaning Saviour), marking his Incarnation - union of God and man in the form of Jesus Christ (became flesh by being conceived in the womb of a woman). While at the Church of Annunciation, we see mosaics donated by Christian organizations all over the world and Singapore was not left out either. The interesting thing was that the Mosaic painting was typical of Singapore in the 1960s or 1970s whereby you see the four different races, CIMO, being depicted in the painting. Thumbs up to our multi-racial policy and social cohesion!

Subsequently, we went to a Druz village located on Mount Carmel and had our lunch there. Druz are a minority group in Israel and they also reside in our surrounding Arab nations. They have interesting cultural practices and beliefs as well. Most of them do not believe in identifying themselves with the borders that separate them, the religion that they adopt and also race. A druz born in Israel calls himself a Israeli whereas another born in Jordan or Lebanon would probably call themselves a Jordanian and a Lebanese respectively. According to the druz guide, the typical druz race draws a line between black and white, right and wrong, yes and no and prefers not to have any grey areas or ambiguity. Their religion does not permit polygamy, fasting or enforced rules as they believe in reincarnation whereby life is a continuous cycle whereby you are born and die and reborn later. They also have their own flags with the 5 main colors - green, red, yellow, blue and white. 

• Green - nature and the mind
• Red - heart and energy
• Yellow - soul and intelligence
• Blue - peace and hope and our body parts
• White - Pure 

The next time you see men and women in white headwear in Israel, he or she is mostly like a religious drug. The interesting thing about them is that they 

Our next stop was at Caesarea - a favorite place of a Great King of Israel, Herod, not because of his achievements for Israel but he was one who built lots of infrastructure, temples, castles, fortresses, etc. in Israel. 

The story of King Herod goes like this. After the Roman empire took over Israel, there was no appointed ruler in the country. Herod then went to the Roman King and sought his approval to appoint Herod as the King of Israel. Herod knew that while he is far away in Rome, his rivals might take advantage of the situation and that his family might be in danger so he kept them at Masada (if I remember it correctly). He arrived back in Israel as the King a day before his family had to surrender due to a lack of water. remar due to a lack of water. Under his rule, Jerusalem remained the religious capital of Israel but Herod built another capital for the non-Jews and also for himself. The city, Caesarea, was named after the Roman Emperor, Caesar Augustus , as his way of maintaining a warm relationship with the Roman emperor. As a city, Caesarea flourished during Herod's times as a lot of ships from Europe sail on the Mediterranean Sea and would come through Caesarea to get to Jerusalem. To supply water to his newly built capital, he cut a slope through the surrounding mountains to supply water to Caesarea and even had a pool in his fortress. The Byzantines also made Caesarea their capital subsequently but beyond that, the city was in ruins for most of the time. In Caesarea, you will also find a Roman Amphitheater which was built in Herod's times but is still in use for major concerts and performances during Summer in Israel. It is equivalent to Taiwan's Arena, Hong Kong's Coliseum, those in Vienna, etc. The amazing thing is it is an outdoor venue with an ancient backdrop. Just the thought of it makes me wanna be there personally someday. Of course, back in those days, besides song and dance performances, they also had a chariot racing i.e. modern day's horse racing. What our guide totally resonated with me that so long as people are sufficiently occupied day and night either by work, family, or entertainment, they would not think of revolt and Herod managed to keep his people happy with such entertainment. In present times, I guess smartphones and the Internet are our best companions. 

Other things that Herod built: 

• a surrounding wall for the Temple Mount: The Western Wall or Wailing Wall is the one section of the wall that remained from Herod's time
• winter palace in Masada - temperatures are warmer in Masada
• Herodium - a hill south of Jerusalem and southeast of Bethlehem where Herod is believed to be buried there. 

Fun fact: The word, "salary" is derived from the word "salt" because in those times when the Roman soldiers worked to build the various fortresses, palaces, etc. they were given salt in return. Salt was a precious commodity in ancient times when we did not have refrigerators. Apparently, it is said that the soldiers perspire a lot doing construction thus they needed salt to replenish the loss of salt from their body. 

Our last stop before the Holy Land is none other than Jaffa city in Tel Aviv, the gateway to Jerusalem centuries ago. The British were the ones who discovered modern day's largest port in Israel, Haifa, but prior to that, Jaffa was the main port where ships called at. Apparently, crusaders from Europe went through the port of Jaffa hoping to find good trees for wood needed to construct siege machines to attack the fortress in Jerusalem. In Jaffa, you will find the only church in Israel that faces the West, St. Peter's church, because the church was constructed based on the New Testament whereby there was a belief that they had to spread the religion to the west. 

As for Tel Aviv, it is a relatively new city founded after Israel's independence. It hosts the only international airport in Israel and the best beaches. If you have plenty of cash and cannot decide what to invest in, you could possibly consider buying an apartment that faces the beach in Tel Aviv and bank on Summer to collect skyrocketing rental rates. Apparently, it costs around US$6,000 to rent an apartment for a month during summer. Rent it for 3 months and you are guaranteed a holiday to anywhere in the world! As for the rest of the year, you can still expect lots of expatriates and tourists or locals working in Tel Aviv so your income is guaranteed. 

With that, a long day traveling to various cities in Israel ended.

Part II - slideshows

A long overdue trip to the Holy Land Part I

I promised to blog about my trip to the Holy Land and as always, procrastination is my biggest enemy. However, the fact that today is a beginning of the a new year gives me the motivation to get things going before I get busy with work and other stuff again.

My sister and I have always wanted to visit Israel because I have read much about the country, heard much about stories from the Bible from my Christian friends and also I have a compelling love for ancient civilizations. We had wanted to go about three years ago but back then, we chose Egypt and we also had a go at it last December but the cost was way beyond my sister's budget. This year, we were determined not to be disappointed and on 12th December, we packed our bags and set off!

We first landed in Jordan but a snowstorm ruined our plans for our visit in Amman, the capital of Jordan. The roads were filled with snow and as a result, the authorities closed the roads and we were forced to stay in the hotel for a day and a half! I was very upset that we started the trip with such negativity but there was nothing that we could do either. Fortunately, we were blessed enough to see improvements in the weather and successfully set off for Wadi Rum and Petra on our 2nd day in Jordan. However, it was not easy. We had to drag our luggages through the snow-filled roads to the coach which was about 500m away but the roads were slippery and for once, my sister and I were really glad that we travelled really light.

Understanding Jordan: 
1. Governed by the Ottoman Empire (turkish) between 1560 to 1916
2. English Colony between 1916 and 1946 after WWI
3. Gained Independence from 1946

4. Wars with neighboring Israel meant that there was mandatory national service prior to 1992/3. Subsequently, peace was attained and national service was no longer compulsory. 

5. Appointed their first king, King Abdullah and when he visited the Al-Asqa Mosque in Jerusalem in 1951, he was assassinated, his eldest son, King Tulane took over but only ruled for 2 years. King Hussein, the longest serving King took over the throne in 1953 and ruled until 1999. Currently, his son, King Abdullah II is on the throne. 

6. The British brought the Jews to Palestine starting from 1916. Israelis occupied everywhere in Israel except the Gaza Strip and West Bank - border of 1948 (green line)

7. Significance of Wadi Rum - Desert where the revolt against Turkey began. The Arab tribes gathered in the desert of Wadi Rum to plan their revolt. It is the only sand desert in Jordan and yes, the sand is soft and you could slide down the sand dunes and have your feet sinking into them as you walk. 

8. Significance of Petra - One of the crossroads in ancient times and the Nabataeans are the settlers of Petra. Petra is located along the King's way, a major route where the Greeks, Persians and Romans took when moving from Europe to Middle East. As such, trade flourish. Petra is one of the 7 New Wonders of the World because of the famous Treasury but it is merely a burial ground for the Kings. It is like a canyon and as you walk through the narrow passageways in the Canyon, you feel the breeze and also get to see the ancient way of life.

What we saw in Petra: 

• Statue of the "God" that the Nabataeans pray to 
• A wedding ceremonial ritual of the ancient times 
• The Treasury
• The 600 steps to the shrine - the highest place for worship for priests - completed only 3/4 due to time constraints 
• The monastery which is the burial ground for Aaron, brother of Moses - we could only see from afar and not get there personally. 
• Differences between royal tombs and those of commoners - one with decorations and the other without
• Existence of a byzantine church 

9. Mount Nebo and School of Mosaic - Moses was believed to be buried at Mount Nebo but the exact location is unknown. It is written in the Bible that Moses struck the rock with his rod in today's Moses Valley (area in Petra) to bring forth water thus he was only allowed to have a glimpse of the Promised Land from Mount Nebo but not enter it personally. So he died on Mount Nebo and is supposed to be buried there. Beautiful view, I can attest to that. 

That pretty much sums up Jordan. 

Understanding Israel: 

1. Israel means Jacob in Hebrew. Jacob is the son of Isaac, son of Abraham, the origins of the Jewish race

• Capital - Jerusalem (largest city that houses about 1m people), 
• Tel Aviv is the 2nd largest city and perhaps also the financial capital, 
• Population of 8 million whereby 62% of it is desert. The Israelis is working to shrink the desert by planting trees to beautify the nation and also have their own agricultural sector,
• Star on the flag represents: Star of David OR Union of men and women OR current and future life OR 2 triangles OR symmetry OR ? It simply can mean many things. 
• Center of the world: Connects Europe, Asia and Africa, the 3 largest continents in the world and also two of the oldest civilizations - the Egyptians and the Babylonians; lots of ancient civilizations which explains the vast amounts of ancient coins from archaeological findings. 

2. Oldest city in the world - Jericho but it is currently under Palestinian control. Gaza Strip and parts of the West Bank (Dome of the Rock and Al-asqa mosque), Bethlehem are also under Palestinian control. Israel does not recognise Palestine as an independent nation (I think) but they grant them internal control over certain cities. Nonetheless, Israel maintains control and authority over all foreign affairs. 

3. Had 5 wars since independence in 1948 - Most significant one: 

• War of 1967: to gain control of Golan Heights as it was a mountainous region and back then, Syria had control of it. This meant that they could easily attack Israelis living in the region of Tiberius (near Golan Heights) due to the high ground that they had control of and also the Old City of Jerusalem and also Mount Olives and beyond 

4. What drives their economy? High-tech industries such as diamond cutting, weapons (haha! expected), Dead Sea products, etc.

5. Compulsory military service for boys (3 years) and girls (2 years) - This is something that really makes me salute the women in Israel. For women to carry guns, undergo military training, throw grenades, experience bloody scenes and still maintain emotional stability is something that is really beyond me. Perhaps the biggest difference between them and us is that they serve the army purely out of love and duty to their country to maintain peace for their fellowmen whereas in Singapore, a lot of it is because the government dictates it. From the way the tour guide talks about his experience in the military service and how everyone in Israel sees military service, you can feel the passion and love that he and his fellowmen have for their country. 

6. Geography: 500km in length and width ranges from 15km (narrowest) to 130km (widest); 79% are Jews, 19% are Arabs and the rest are Christians and other minorities; Highest mountain: Mount Heron; Biggest ports: Haifa and Ashdod ports 

7. Education: Their education system is very much like Singapore's, whereby they have childcare centers, have public universities that are more prestigious than the private ones, etc. The only difference is that education is free for all! To the Israelis, education is important because they need to interpret the bible and also, a good education is the gateway to good jobs. Law is probably the most prestigious course, not because they aspire to become barristers but that a law degree leads to better job opportunities. To quote our guide: Not every country is like America whereby you have freedom of speech and free rights and any accidental blabber can lead to a law suit and financial opportunities for lawyers. Lol! 

The Holy Land Journey: 

Day 1: We crossed the Allenbey border in the morning but there was much delay as usual! Sis was stopped when we went through the security check for no apparent reason (my conjecture was that it was due to the bottle of water that she had inside her bag). Having heard many stories from friends who travel to UK and US, I was worried that they might detain her for private checks. Fortunately, they did not. Then it was my turn to get unlucky because my luggage was detained due to the power bank that I had inside. I did not have a good first impression of the Israelis owing to the encounters with the women at the checkpoints. They were rude and I even saw one playing candy crush on her handphone while at work. The woman who was supposed to clear my detained luggage was also very unfriendly and shouted at our tour leader. Perhaps it was the nature of her work that required her to be stern and firm on her end but she really could have showed more courtesy. When we had to return to Jordan a week later, the lady at the VAT refund office was another difficult one to handle as well. Sometimes I really feel like telling these people off that, "You are paid to do this and if you ain't happy, you should just quit your job rather than vent your frustrations on unrelated people." Then again, I try to avoid confrontations as I grow older so I chose to keep quiet. Nevertheless, the rest of the journey was a fulfilling and splendid one. 

Biblical Places that we went to: 

• Yardenit: It was believed that Jesus was baptized in the Jordan river but it was at the Jordan's side of the Jordan river as in the first century, Jordan and Israel were one. However, pilgrims these day go to Yardenit for baptism. One of the tour members then asked a funny question about whether there are priests on site that could provide Baptism services? The tour guide said, "NO" but he can consider starting such a service if there was sufficient interest. 
• Church of multiplication: It was believed that Jesus taught his disciples a lesson at this very church. Back then, followers from all over the world came to Tiberius after hearing about Jesus and his teachings. There were thousands of followers gathering but Jesus's disciples told him that they only had 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish left to provide food for these people. Jesus asked them to leave whatever that they have on a rock and not to turn away these people. He then performed a miracle whereby He fed all the people with the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish by having them multiplied. What Jesus wanted to teach his disciples that you might be small, but so long as you faith, you will survive. They call the fish St. Peter's fish and it is actually Tilapia. 
• Sea of Galilee: Important to the Christians because it is the site where a lot of miracles happen for the Christians. Fun fact: Sea of Galilee is actually a lake. However, in the Bible, lakes are known as Sea which explains why they call it the Sea of Galilee. 

Besides the biblical significance, most of us who studied Social Studies or read up on History would have known about the conflict between Jordan and Israel over the Jordan River. Back then, the Israelis built a Dam to the stop freshwater from the Jordan River from flowing southwards to the Dead Sea (high salt content). This created uproar in Jordan. However, the Israelis felt that they needed to do that because they face a constant shortage of water and building the dam would help to satisfy their water needs. Water in the Jordan River comes from Golan Heights and the Sea of Galilee. 

Kibbutz: A collective community that sprouted in Israel after independence which is traditionally based on agriculture. They were started by some Russian Jews who settled in Israel after independence and they changed the ideas of how life should be in the holy land. 

• No one was to have their own private property
• Everyone donated their salary to the kibbutz to be redistributed
• Children were also property of the whole group in this agriculture style of living - had to work to milk the cows and help out at the fields - teaches them values of having to work hard to earn a living and not take things for granted. Fair enough. 
• About 25 years ago, they started to disintegrate - communism fell out of favor around that time
• Some changes were made to the villages whereby they no longer share everything equally but they live in a community whereby they celebrate occasions together and maintain the safety and security of their village 
• No tall buildings, congestion and pollution 

As we observe from the outside, you feel serenity and because we were in the area around evening time (5 plus), it was absolutely silent and sometimes, I long for such peace and tranquility of rural life. 

Day 2: We toured the places around the Sea of Galilee. We started the day at Banias, an archaeological site in the ancient city of Caesarea Philippi. The place is named after the God of Pan who had the upper body of a human but the lower body of a goat. However, because the Arabs cannot pronounce the letter 'p', Paneas became Banias. Fun fact/ Joke: The word 'panic' is derived from the Pan's name. Whenever Pan sees beautiful women, he will tap them on the back and when they turned around and saw him, they will scream and run away because of his looks. The biblical significance of Banias is that it was at Banias where Peter (Jesus's disciples) confessed and gave his view that he believed Jesus was the messiah. However, Jesus related his eventual destiny and Peter rebuked Jesus. Here, Jesus gave Peter the keys to heaven. 

Golan Heights: The meaning of "Golan" means all Jewish towns. Unfortunately, the area was covered by a lot of snow and we did not manage to ascend Golan Heights and see the Syria-Israel border! Ah! However, if fate permits, some day I will visit Israel again and get to Golan Heights. Instead, we went to the Golan winery. [Travel agent: Scott Dunn to camp in the alps.] The Golan Heights region is one whereby there are volcanoes and hence, the soil is very fertile and can allow a lot of agriculture to take place should there be sufficient irrigation. The Israelis invest in a lot of technologies to conserve and create new water sources and if you see purple pipes in Israel, it means that it carries recycled water, which is mainly used for irrigation purposes. 

Biblical places that we visited: 

• Church of Beatitudes: Jesus talked about the 8 beatitudes which explains why the church is octagonal and uses 2 colors, black and white. Beati means "blessed" in Latin and beatitudes means "all people are blessed". 
• Capernaum: Home of Peter, Jesus's first chosen disciple. It was here that we learnt a lot about the differences between Judaism and Christianity. There were remains of a first century synagogue which they believe it is where Jesus prayed because it had an entrance that was facing Jerusalem. Archaeologists found scripts with Jewish language they were buried because the Jewish believe in returning things to the ground i.e. earth. 
• Kanna city: place where Jesus performed his miracle of turning water into wine. 

Abraham was the first person (Jewish) to believe in the existence of a one and only God who created mankind and he prayed to God. David was from the lineage of Abraham (one of the twelve tribes of Israel i.e. sons of Jacob. Jesus was born and died as a Jew. 

• The Jews only believe in the Old Testament and the Torah whereas the Christians believe in the New Testament, written by the disciples of Jesus and the Bible. 
• The Jews do not believe that Jesus is the Son of God i.e. he is not the messiah which explains why he was crucified by the Romans. Jesus believes that this was his destiny to atone for the sins of mankind. So the Jews are still waiting for the Messiah, whom they believe is a descendant of King David. Reason being that the Jews believe that the Messiah should be someone who would be born into a respected family but Jesus was born into a humble family. 
• In Judaism and a synagogue, there should not be any statutes or rocks (unlike churches which have the statues of Jesus) and Jewish face Jerusalem to pray. Fun fact: they did not have synagogues prior to the destruction of the Second Temple Mount because people could simply go to the Temple to pray. However, after the Second Temple was destroyed by the Romans, synagogues were built as a common place to study the bible and pray. 

It will probably take me hours and days to blog all about the trip but spending that kind of effort and time in exchange of a lifetime memory and remembrance of Holy Land, I believe it is worth it. 

So stay tuned for Part II in the next few days or weeks! 

Counting down to 2014

It is the time of the year whereby we reflect on the year and set our new year resolutions. I was not born into a family who celebrates Christmas and family get-togethers and hence, I never set new year resolutions. When I grew up, I appreciate the importance of doing so because you think about the things that you did not do well and go forth to make it right the following year. Furthermore, you look back at your own accomplishments and savour the happiness that accompanies it and use that to motivate you to propel forward the following year. About seven to eight years ago, my cousins and I started to organise Christmas gift exchange parties and my secondary school friends also orchestrated Christmas parties or gatherings. If some day I were to leave Singapore, these are the events and people that I will miss dearly for sure!

Anyway, back to the topic of my personal reflections for 2013 and moving forward to 2014. Visiting the Holy Land was definitely one of the best decisions that I made this year. Since young, I have heard a lot of about Christianity, Islam, Taoism and many other religions. Never did I live through a year without someone asking me if I believe in God? Rather than to hear it from the priests, the followers, etc., visiting the Holy Land meant so much to me to see for my own eyes how it all started. Holy Land or not, my answer remains the same. I choose to believe in that there is a greater Him out there who has created us though I may not pledge my allegiance to Him.

I do not deny that one of the many reasons why I enjoy traveling is because it is an escape from reality. However, visiting Jerusalem made me realised that all the stories that I hear while I was there, all the sights that I visit and see with my own eyes, the museums, churches and the old city meant that getting to learn about such ancient civilisations was the more compelling reason behind my love for traveling. While on tour, I would diligently take down notes of what the guide was explaining and information in the museums so that I can blog about them and also recall whatever that I heard or saw. This meant so much and I am totally in love with Israel. I did not travel to that many places this year but going on one good trip beats going to multiple lousy getaways.

Besides traveling, I have also set out to do what I had wished for last year when all the talk about 21.12.12 being the day the world will come to an end was ongoing. I wanted to stop nua-ing and do away with the excuses of work draining me and my life. So in 2013, I made my decision to return to school and though the process was tiring and sometimes I question my own decision, I am glad I pulled through round 1. Before I know it, round 2 will come knocking and 2014 will be a year filled with uncertainty. I have decided to take the plunge and step out of my comfort zone - leave behind whatever that I own now - income-less, starting all over again either as a student or in a new career, perhaps go on a one-year travel to places that I would never imagine myself going?

In 2013, I also revisited my professors, my old friends and my old self. Perhaps like the saying, "Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you." It finally dawned upon me that despite me having the ability to satisfy all my material wants at this stage of my life, I am still not truly satisfied. I saw a nice quote somewhere about enjoying a high quality of life but I cannot recall it! Arrghh! All the craze about the branded bags, cars, money, etc. seems meaningless to me at times. I would still love to own them but perhaps not as badly as I used to be.

Come 2014, a new life begins at the end of my comfort zone. I have to blog about this before 2014 comes knocking and I would then be too lazy to blog.

A quote from a friend's blog many years ago that left a deep impression on me:

When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were things like, astronauts, president... or in my case, a princess.. When we were ten, they asked again. We answered, a rock star, cowboy, or in my case, a gold medalist. But now that we're grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how about this. Who the hell knows? This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions. This is a time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere. Fall in love... a lot. Major in philosophy, because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind, and change it again, because nothing's permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask what we want to be, we won't have to guess... we'll know.

31 things to say for a month - Day 22: Friends who are like Family

Day 22: Friendship that will last till the end of time... From SIDY to CDGJ

We love acronyms and we have an unique way to create them. These people are friends who have been extremely important in the last decade of my life and I believe will be so for the many decades to come.

I am someone who has very few female friends, most crucially attributed to my boyish character. I love having fun, hardly serious about anything unless it is studies and perhaps now work, critical, judgmental, competitive, likes to argue for the fun of it, passionate about sports, watches football week in week out, etc. and so in my teenage years, I was hardly someone who was sensitive to others' feelings nor that of myself. I could tolerate critical comments and jokes that my friends made of me because that meant I could do the same to them. As a result, I hardly had any female friends who could find a confidant in me except for one but our relationship subsequently soured. It was in the Polytechnic that I became more mature and the fact that there was only 6 boys in my class and they stuck around each other like glue and that they were very much like girls as well that made me ended up in a clique with 3 other girls. They have brought me tons of joy and laughter back in those days and sometimes I wonder why is it that we hardly meet these days?

In the last ten years or so, while other girls had a whole platoon of girlfriends, I often hung out with those boys in my secondary school. Even in the places that I worked at during vacation, the friends that I made were also mainly guys and I ain't have a clue as to why. The one negative thing about having an entire list of guy friends in your contact list but few female friends is that when they start to go into relationships or date, you drift apart and I totally understand. My presence in certain gatherings started to diminish except for that in CDGJ. The bond between the four of us was so strong simply because we were in each other's (CDJ) company for all sorts of leisure activities and real work from studying together, playing games and sports, eating out, drinking, clubbing (when we were younger), and eventually to travelling on a road trip last June. We were also each other's confidants, bitching about others and also finding comfort to our own miseries. In short, we were like the band of brothers in the Big Bang Theory, albeit less intellectual and do not live together or hang out every single day.

I would not say that our friendship has not undergo tough times because as we aged, our work and relationships have caused us to spend lesser amounts of time with each other. However, that heartwarming feeling that we get from each other (since we have gone through so much of life together) is simply irreplaceable. You know that they will not judge you for the things that you do because they know who you really are, what is your value system like and in the absence of the need to survive in a competitive environment, you show who you truly are. They support, comfort and commend you in everything that you do so as to make you a better person.

I dedicate this post to them because they are like my family members too and I know that the footprints that they have left in my heart has brought so much joy and laughter to my life that I want them to know how much I appreciate them for what they have done. They have played the roles of girlfriends for me and for that, I am really grateful!

31 things to say for a month - Day 21: Contentment

Day 21: Contentment is bliss










As usual, it is the time of the year when I have to do a reflection of all the things that I have done for the entire year and discuss with my "boss". I have to say in all these years that I have been in the organisation, my strongest pillar of support and help has come from this "boss". The term I would use in this context is "connoisseur". As a rookie, I have many things to juggle with and the fact that I have not gone down this path may make me even more unsure of what I had signed myself up for. However, I was given a lot of opportunities and room to develop, experiment and also prove myself. My potential would not have been recognised and be duly unleashed without her. No amount of thanks can convey that heartfelt gratitude that I have for her which was why I got really emotional when the issue of my future was being discussed. I know that I should have and could have done more in return but I did otherwise.

However, I also realised today that my decision had two sides to this story and depending on what kind of a person you are, you would then pick the relevant side. I want to accomplish something in life but if you ask me to specify what exactly I want to accomplish, I could probably tell you a million things. Yet given the short life span that I have, I can only accomplish that many things. So sometimes I dream of this, I dream of that, I become indecisive and I procrastinate and end up not doing a lot of things that I should have done. So when I take my scenic walk yesterday evening, I asked myself the very question, "What exactly do I want to do with my life?" I chose to leave because I want to take the leap and experiment with my life.

On the other hand, I feel that I am unable to realise much fulfillment or money in this pursuit and thus it is better for me to seek greener pastures elsewhere. For that, I guess I only have my own perfectionist self to blame. I am not a pragmatic and materialistic person and my conversations with others do not revolve around money all the time unlike some of my friends. However, the reason why I would not mind doing something that generates high financial returns for the short run because I grew up in a shabby environment and seeing my mother fret over our family's finances all the time made me determined that some day I want to be able to absolve her from all these worries for all the sacrifices that she made. Hence, if I could make more money and give her a better life, I would gladly do it. Of course, I do ponder over why I have to try so hard to make right the things that she had done inappropriately e.g. being the generous one in front of others, afraid to take on more responsibilities to provide a better environment for her children and also being easily contented with a meager salary that could hardly make ends meet every single month. Nevertheless, the many other sacrifices that she has made for me has the ability to make me overlook such imperfections on her end.

On top of that, I am an Accounting and Economics trained person. In the last 7 years of my education, I learnt one important thing in life and that is everything has a price. So sometimes, I judge my ability by the price that I can fetch with my services. So, money can be a source of motivation for me. However, I know that money cannot buy happiness hence I tell myself that I should balance it with the other view that if I end up doing something that fetches me a low value, then I must get a sense of fulfillment that is priceless. It is perhaps this thought of mine that has made my desires a bottomless pit and perhaps why I chose that quote for this post of mine, "Contentment is not the fulfillment that you want, but the realisation of how much you already have." I have the support of the people above me (bosses), the people around me (colleagues) and the people under me (stud). They edge me to continue my pursuit and be patient because I will eventually reap the rewards. Unfortunately, I have disappointed them. I say it is an issue with organisation hierarchy and functions but I know that every organisation will have this problem. It is merely a degree that differs. I want to change things but who am I to do so and to a certain extent, I question my ability to be able to do so! So I chose to run away from the problem. Perhaps a little patience would help. Maybe getting into a position where I can influence things would make me feel better. Ultimately, I only have myself to blame and to face. My own insecurity towards commitment is probably the root to all these problems but the answer to whether I can learn to commit is nothing but uncertainty.

Since either route that I take on leaves me with uncertainty, I chose the more treacherous road since I feel that I constantly want to be able to do more and better things and learn new things, etc. in life and I consider that a fulfillment. It is this trait of mine that has helped me attain success in a lot of things that I do in life (competitive drive to want to do better) but unfortunately it is a double-edged sword. I guess I will come to that later. Also, like what my professor told me, I do not know what I really want at times in life and because of that, I might have been influenced by my peers, by glamour, by riches, etc. It does not help that I see my peers moving ahead of me despite them seeing themselves as less able than me. So they edge me to move on and do other things. As a result of all these, I myself feel that I have forgotten to look back and see for myself how much I already have which is why I keep wanting to move on.

I know that life should not be a race whereby you compete with others but it is also not a leisure stroll such that you can do nothing and still reap the rewards of not doing anything. I just know that I do not want to end up like some people around me - able and capable but that unwillingness to take the risk, to shoulder greater responsibilities, the state of serenity that they desire make them accomplish nothing in their life. But who am I to judge that they have accomplished nothing? Maybe being able to enjoy a life in serenity is an accomplishment nothing else can bring?

If someday I end up with accomplishing nothing, I would also only have myself to blame. Someone ever told me, "If you tell yourself that this is something that you don't mind doing or that this is only something that you want to do for the short term but not the long term, then this is not something that you love doing. If you are doing something that you love, you will want to do it for the rest of your life." It is an insightful comment but why have I not come to discover that one thing that I really want to do for the rest of my life? In the last few years, I have spoken so much about doing something that really interests you to so many others but it is only now that I realise that my words should not have carried any weight because I do not act upon what I preach.

When will I meet that wise person who will help me discover what I truly enjoy doing? I know who he is and I should have known that I have known him all my life because he is none other than myself. However, I am still living in my own disillusioned world to deny his presence.

31 things to say for a month - Day 20: The art of accommodation

Day 20: 相見容易相處難

There is a saying in Chinese that it is easy to get along with someone who you meet occasionally but problems will start to surface when you have to live together. I think this saying cannot be more true. It takes a lot of tolerance, accommodation, sacrifices to live together as a family.  But sometimes I really wonder if living apart and meeting each other occasionally is really a better way of maintaining relationships. 

When you only meet occasionally, say once or twice a year, and live in your own comfort zone for the rest of 363 or 364 days, you do not have to deal with the other someone's whims and fancies or tolerate his or her living habits which are entirely different from yours. Thus, you tend to treasure that few occasions when you meet and would not want to spend the time arguing or fighting. 

However, if you were to stay travel together as a family or do certain things together over a prolonged period, things might change. You will probably start off the journey on a happy tone but each day, the others in the group never fail to irritate you and your patience and tolerance will diminish with each passing day. This is due to the fact that there are many sides to this person whom you claim as your family member yet you are unaware due to the lack of communication. Who will start blabbering about their own weaknesses or the unglamarous things that they have done in a gathering? Thus, the lack of communication will surface as a problem when you have to spend long periods of time together with a person. 

Problems will also compound because people make decisions based on prior knowledge and experiences and as you age, you have more life experiences and become more opinionated. Everyone thinks that they have been through a lot of ups and downs and knows it best what to avoid and what to be prepared for. I guess perhaps that is when you start to doubt what others say, want to make decisions because you think that your rich experiences will come in handy and become less receptive to changes and feedback. However, everyone needs reminders from time to time that we should use our ears wisely, listen to what others have to say before we give our own opinions and make decisions, especially if it is a collective one. 

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that staying away from people whom you think you cannot get along with and only meet up occasionally is an escape and does not resolve the differences between you. You have to pluck up the courage to confront each other if you want your relationship to remain strong. Nevertheless, saying is easier than done. 

When I reflect upon myself, I start to worry if I will someday become some of these characters in my life who I disdain now when I am of their age. I am someone who is very steadfast in the things that I want to do and my mother used to say that I am an obstinate child. My siblings have been very tolerant and accommodating and give in to me quite a fair bit. However, as I age, I start to see my own weaknesses and I really want to become a better sibling to them so I started to change. In addition, my hatred for confrontation and arguments do help to mitigate the downsides of being obstinate. Over the years, I learn to turn away from arguments not because I am fully convinced but because I see no point in trying to be convinced or convince another person in the heat of a debate or an argument. It is better off to always let each other cool off and reflect upon things after the debate or argument. 

Things only bother you when you care a lot about it. So I told someone that perhaps some day, we will follow in the footsteps of the people whose actions we disdain and cannot comprehend. I told her that because I see that she is now an adult and is no longer someone who I can easily convince or manipulate her thinking. Her interactions with her peers and those in her social circle will also start to shape her thinking. She will still be that helpful girl who will make sacrifices but the biggest difference is that reluctance might be written all over her face while she is doing it. Showing someone your emotions outright while doing something that you dislike is not any better than not doing it at all. At least to me, I hate people who show their emotions all over their face and when I unknowingly do it at times, I feel really bad about it. "Love your neighbours like yourself" is one saying that never goes out of style to me. As I am typing this post, it suddenly dawned upon me that perhaps she has always been like that but it is just that she chose to suppress her emotions when she was much younger. 

I think this is also one of the many reasons why people become less happy as they grow older. People around you change and adapting to changes is never easy. Managing people's emotions is truly an uphill task. This could probably explain why I have been looking for that exit.