As 2010 draws to a close

These days, life does not just pass. It whizzes pass. I do not recall that it was a year ago that I splurge on my LV bag, went on tour for 3 weeks in Japan and Taiwan, and got all bumpy about finally graduating from NUS. In fact, it seemed to me all that happened just months ago. It is insanity to actually tell people that 3 years ago, I went to Stockholm for exchange and lived one of the happiest moments of my life there.

Recently, the weather has been erratic. Snowstorms all over Europe, even the temperature in Hong Kong fell below zero (simply ridiculous). That has indeed brought back memories about my Stockholm days, when Kim and I got uber excited about seeing snow in Stockholm, outdoor ice-skating, building snowman, etc. My love for Europe is beyond imagination. Some day I will return, I told myself.

And how has my 2010 been thus far?

The working world is indeed really different from school. You have income but you have more responsibility. You have holidays but it also means you have more work. I have never doubted my own desire to educate, but I have been questioning my desire to stay on in the job. The job really derives a lot of satisfaction, especially when you see your students making progress along the way. However, I think that satisfaction is unable to fill me, fill my desires and make me contented. I want to do more, with each passing day. Life at work is mundane compared to life when I was a student: more happenings, more jokes, more laughter, more friends, more conversations, more learning, more knowledge, more control.

Your friends at work discuss about the same things everyday. Their conversations are much like a routine. The conversation revolves around the same topic; students, results, exams, CCAs, shopping for girls, etc. I feel that the number of intellectual conversations that I engage in has decreased exponentially while in school.

Honestly, I feel that when you step into the working world officially, you start to think more (not necessarily deeper). You become more risk-averse, you try to calculate and weigh your benefits and costs for each step that you take, you behave more appropriately socially. However, you lose your innocence and candour. You become overtly mindful of other people's feelings, so you lose yourself. I still prefer the me when I was a student.

Then I was dumped into NIE and overwhelmed with assignments. I had less time for myself but I got to meet new friends. I meet interesting characters; people of diverse background but at least we share something in common: we all have a passion for teaching. I do not get to engage in conversations outside of assignments (tons of project discussion) but I spend more time reading the Economist, Nat Geo, news, and books that I like. So there is a trade-off. My writing has toned down a lot, less of the fanciful analogies, idioms, catch-phrases but more of formal expressions, which I really disdain.

The highlight of 2010 was probably the trip to Egypt, the land of civilisations. Egypt has really aroused my interest in ancient history. I have always been fond of history, be it ancient, middle ages, european, asian, or whatever. However, I lack the discipline to actually visit the library to get the books and read them. But well, yesterday is not representative of tomorrow. We should move on.

My 2010 is definitely not as colourful and vivid as my 2009, and you can corroborate from the number of blog posts that I made this year. Hopefully, my 2011 will be more fascinating. :)

星光's next big star: 安东倪 Sorry that I loved you

Everything I hear him sing, my eyes tear. It's his voice! Now I am so glad that he finally has his own album. :))

And of course, I hope this song will touch your heart and make you tear too! :)) It is getting difficult to find someone who is good looking and can sing so well....

Words have no meaning, you put meaning into them.

I have always uphold this view that "words have no meaning, it is the reader that puts the meaning into the sentences." Indeed, I was proven right yet again! I have absolutely no intention of putting anyone down in the process and in fact, I was already feeling awful that things had turned out the way it did. Someone dealt me another blow when the comment that "I seem to be shifting the blame to someone else" came out from her mouth. C'mon, be professional and objective. Stop putting words into my mouth and degrade my intentions.

I have not been blogging that often these days and it has indirectly affected the way I express certain ideas, perhaps.

A weird and silly dream....

The weirdest dream appeared last night! I dreamt that I was back to Stockholm, Sweden, back to SSE, Saltis and all that. I was with the wrong company, the sort of people whom I will never imagine being with while overseas. But nostalgia overwhelmed me when I awoke from the dream. SSE was still there, Saltis never changed a single bit, but Lidl was gone. Our favourite supermarket no longer stands as it is. I really wonder how much Stockholm has changed. I miss Stockholm, I really do. Truly, deeply, badly.......

so swarmed with work....

NIE is supposed to be a breeze, isn't it? It seems like I am more swarmed with work than ever, at least 20 assignments due of various degrees thus far. And I've got to take tests (MATH)! I'm fearless when it comes to Math exams since young but this time round, things are really different. It seems to me that the questions are more like Maths Olympiad Questions then mathematical questions. :( Oh well, to think I said I do not think that anyone can fail SMMT. I retract those words of mine. :(

And yes, november has too many deadlines awaiting me. I honestly need a break! :( I wanted to take time off to chill, sit down with friends and do nothing, play more tennis than ever, go back to studying French but none of these are on my agenda! Not that I will accomplish all of them without those assignments but perhaps the probability of accomplishing some is way higher!

Perhaps, wake me up when "December" comes. Cause that will be when all the deadlines are over and I can finally have a good break, enjoy my birthday month as usual. I love December!!!! :)) Nonetheless, they never last. From birthday to X'mas then New Year, time whizzes past always. And I vividly remember, last December I was away for almost the entire month. The kind of life I lick my lips over all the time! Not this December anymore.

Nonetheless, there are perks to me joining the force. Occasionally, I get text messages from my ex-students or meet them on the bus and we get to catch up on our lives. :)) And when they tell me how darling I was a teacher to them, my heart melts. Teaching is really a very satisfying job. :))

Enough of whining, back to work. :((

Sacrificing sleep for Mitch Albom's books!

Mitch Albom's books never fail to sweep me off my feet. This time round, "Have a little faith" indeed did not disappoint. Just a few meaningful excerpts from the book:

It's perfectly fine to say "Someone is imperfect but they don't need improvement because it simply means you are willing to accept them as they are."

Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.

There is no cynism in the line of work revolving faith. Let me answer with a story, "There's this salesman, see?" And he knocks on a door. The man who answers says, "I don't need anything today."

The next day, the salesman returns. "Stay away", as he is told. The next day, the salesman is back. The man yells, "You again! I warned you!" He gets so angry he spits in the salesman's face. The salesman smiles, wipes the spit with a handkerchief, then looks to the sky and says, "Must be raining."

That's what faith is. If they spit in your face, you says it must be raining. But you still come back tomorrow.

Make a case against God; When you come to the end, that's where GOD begins.

Why do bad things happen to good people? ..... Because when you lose someone you love, you can curse GOD. You can yell. You can blame him. You can demand to know why. But when you don't believe in God, and things happen, you can only blame yourself. "Oh yes, it is far more comforting to think God listened and said no, than to think that nobody's out there."

Most religions warn against war, yet more wars have been fought over religion than perhaps anything else. Sodom and Gomorrah.... But so many people wage wars in God's name. God does not want such killing to go on. But MAN does.

When a baby comes into the world, its hands are clenched. Because a baby, not knowing better, wants to grab everything, to say, "The world is mine." But when an old person dies, his hands are open because he has learned the less, "We can take nothing with us."

What do people fear most about death? And Thomas Hardy answers in his poem

"They count as quite forgot, They are as men who have existed not, Theirs is a loss past loss of fitful breath. It is the second death."

Fear of being forgotten - That's the second death.

Marriage & Commitment: What do you lose if you don't commit? "A happiness you cannot find alone."

The same things in life can be good or evil, depending on what, with free will, we do with them. Speech can bless or curse. Money can save or destroy. Science can heal or kill. Even nature can work for you and against you: fire can warm or burn; water can sustain life or flood it away. Nowhere in the story of Creation do we read the word "bad". From the beginning, God put this world into our hands so we were created with a piece of divinity inside us called free will. And what God does is watch us every day lovingly, praying that we will make the right choices.

Everyone has done some bad things in his life. But it's not about you against the other guy. It's God measuring you against you. "Maybe all you get are chances to do good, and what little bad you do ain't much bad at all. But because has God has put you in the position where you can always do good, when you do something bad - it's like you let God down. And maybe people who only get chances to do bad, always around bad things, like us, when they finally make something good out of it, God's happy."

It's amazing how folks can't see you, cause they want to keep you in that past. They just looked at your past. And when we're still looking at ourselves through our past, we're not seeing what God has done. What He can do! We're not seeing the little things that happen in our lives. You knew me. You knew that person, but you don't know the person that I'm trying to become. Judge Not.

It's amazing how all these excerpts struck a chord in me as I was reading. Another 10 years down the road, these excerpts will continue to remind me of how the book has touched my heart for I probably would not have the time to re-read it again. Perhaps, some day I will. Just like I would relish the opportunity to journey through "Tuesdays with Morrie."

It seemed too small for what I wanted to achieve in life, like being stuck wearing your grade school clothes. I had dreams of travelling, making foreign friends in foreign cities. I had heard the phrase "citizen of the world." I wanted to be one.

Quote of the day

"I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying." --- Michael Jordan

Peer Pressure

How to combat peer pressure at work and at school?

1. Think about what is best for the company you work for

Many times, others think solely about themselves, but if you think about the company as a whole, it will help your judgment process

2. Avoid gossiping in the workplace

This is very important. The last thing you want to do is start getting into a gossip battle with someone else at work. Go about your own business and get your work done well.

3. Keep a positive attitude no matter what.

Those who pressure you to do things you don't want to do will likely be frustrated if you have such a positive attitude.

4. Keep a smile on your face.

Do not talk behind other's backs. This is very hurtful and a good way to get yourself into trouble.

5. Choose your friends wisely.

There's a big difference between someone who pressures you into wasting your money on stuff you don't need and someone who draws you into drugs and alcohol. Kids who use that kind of peer pressure will make you feel rotten in other ways, so it's best to avoid them.

Find someone in your group of friends who objects to drugs, alcohol, crime, and cigarettes. An ally can really help when push comes to shove. Make sure you respect them, though, so the strategy doesn't backfire.

Support someone who's undergoing peer pressure. When cocaine is being passed around a party and kids are giving someone a hard time, pull them away from the crowd.

Emphasize that doing drugs, drinking alcohol and smoking are illegal. Ask your friends if they want to go to jail, get suspended from school or get into trouble with their parents. Tell them the punishment isn't worth the crime.

Learn the gruesome truth about the health effects of drugs, alcohol and smoking. They kill your brain cells. These chemicals ruin your skin, teeth, and hair and make you look and feel gross.

5. Take a broken record approach.

No matter what anyone says, repeat, "I don't do that stuff". You don't need to justify your decision.

Read horror stories on the Internet and share with them whoever's trying to pressure you. Some peers can only appreciate in-your-face messages like stories about destroyed lives. Email and text-message them URLs so they can see for themselves.

Avoiding peer pressure doesn't require not conversing with others. Converse and associate yourself, but don't compromise. Dealing with peer pressure isn't easy, but it can be done, so keep your head up and smile! :))